Best Laid Plans
by ZombieJazz
Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They attempt a family vacation, taking their kids to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU. It contains spoilers from those stories.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

"Bubba! Wake up!" Emily demanded in the backseat and Olivia gave another glance over her shoulder to assess the situation.

She was about at the point she was ready to nudge Benji awake herself. Brian kept asking if he should 'stop to fill the tank' – i.e. if she want him to pull off the highway so she could pretty purposefully wake up Benji. So they'd get something resembling a reaction out of him about the strip of highway they were on before they arrived at their destination. But Emmy was doing a good enough job of more than nudging her brother out of his Dramine stupor.

Olivia actually almost wished she'd gone the Bad Mother route and given Emmy a dose too. Just to encourage their little girl to sleep through the long night-time drive down. But even without it, she had to give Emmy that she'd had done fairly well with sleeping in the SUV. Though, their girl had still done her typical rousing whining for a bathroom break – and wanting to drink more water so they'd inevitably need another bathroom break - in the middle of the night. It was OK, though. They needed stops for stretches, gas and coffee anyways. But Benji had slept right through all that too.

Their sick little boy – finally just out of the last of six monthly IVs, before switching to longer intervals – had opened his eyes a couple hours ago and requested a pee break. But after they'd been back in the car he'd been silent again, just staring out his window for a while before he drifted off while they were still outside the city limits. His headphones were propped lopsided on his head and the iPad flopped down in his lap looking like it was ready to fall to the floor. Whatever he had been watching had been long ago forgotten and likely wasn't even playing anymore. It'd exceeded its runtime. He should be able to hear his sister's impatience. She was being loud enough.

"Ben-gee!" Emily said loudly, pressing her nose to the glass and tracking as with her eyes off behind her as they went passed the billboard she was fixated on. "Dere it is again! Another 'Pie-der-man sign!"

Benji groaned a little and let his eyes flutter open. He exhaled with mild annoyance and stared at Emmy. She pressed her finger purposely against the glass.

"Dere! See!"

He didn't see. They were passed that sign now. But it seemed like they were hitting the next one about every hundred yards. They were well into the flurry of commercial advertising propaganda now.

But Benji still only blinked as his eyes adjusted to the light and yawned and stretched in his seat. One of Brian's old 1980's Transformers that Benji had claimed out of the boxes of junk that kept being schlepped over to their house from Janet's toppled from his lap.

The toys – which were even more impossible to transform than the 21st century version of the action figures – had become a near favorite fidget toy for their son. Even better than the ones Olivia had spent ridiculous amounts of money on at so-called educational toy stores.

Benji batted the headphones down around his neck and stretched his arm to retrieve the Transformer. He made another noise that was somewhere between pained and annoyed as he grabbed it.

"Dad, Sideswipe's door-arm shield armor thing came off again."

Brian looked at the kids in the rear view mirror, pulling his eyes from the road. "I'll take a look at it when we stop," he said.

Benji still made a frustrated noise and fiddled with it – making an even more frustrated noise.

Olivia would give that as much as she hated when Benji or Emmy got frustrated with the transformation puzzles of their current – and still ever expanding – collection of Transformers, at least the 'modern day' incarnations somehow seemed sturdier than the ancient ones from Brian's childhood. And she didn't think it was just their antique 'collectible' status that made them fall apart so easily.

"Little Fox," Olivia said, leaning back into the back seat to gently reach out for him to give her the toy. "Just leave it. Daddy knows the trick. He'll do it when we stop."

Benji let her take it. She worked at trying to get the piece to pop back into the hinge herself despite what she'd just told her son. But even though Brian had showed her the trick about how and where to twist the joint and the angle everything had to be at to get it to snap back into place, Olivia never seemed to be able to get to do it properly.

Brian had always been the Transformer Master in their family – from nearly the get. From before she'd opened herself up to trying a relationship with him (again). She'd never really had to graduate beyond the simple Rescue Bot transformations. One, two, three steps at most. Though, she'd done her best to keep up with the growing number of variations the kids had in their toy box of these robo-vehicles. But with each passing year, as her little boy grew up and wanted the newer and more sophisticated bots, the puzzle and engineering behind the toys just got harder and harder.

Olivia got almost as frustrated when she got asked to help as her kids were when they brought them over to her. They almost inevitably got set aside – out of everyone's sight and mounting frustration levels – until Brian was home and could switch the damn things to whatever shape they were supposed to be (or the kids thought they should be).

With this older ones, though, it was even more difficult. To her they often didn't remotely look like what they were supposedly transforming into. Even more so than the latest and greatest models. But since these were Daddy's toys and "originals" and "collectibles", they were currently on high rotation in the Transformer game. She hadn't be surprised when Benji had picked one to throw into his backpack as car-time distraction. But she also wasn't survived the thing was now in need of repair – as usual. And even though she'd like to help, Olivia just didn't have the practiced manoeuvre down to muscle memory. Or her fingers weren't strong enough. Or she was just too afraid she was going to break the fragile plastic and that it would create even bigger frustration and meltdown out of the kids (and likely Brian too). But their son still exhaled some frustration and slouched in his chair and Olivia saw Brian's eyes again take him in in the rear view mirror.

Brian had insisted making the drive wouldn't be a problem. He'd insisted that if they did it at night it wouldn't be a problem for the kids either. He'd said that Benji had survived the drive to Chicago – which wasn't too much shorter than this.

But that had been before they had medical terms and labels for what their son was going through. It'd been before treatment upon treatment upon the handfuls of medication they were having to get him to swallow every day. So Olivia still hadn't exactly believed that this drive would go as smoothly as Brian had claimed.

But Olivia would give him that he'd mostly been right.

She still wasn't sure that spending over sixteen hours in a vehicle – driving through the night – was how she envisioned starting a vacation. Really – as much as she loved Brian – spending sixteen hours with him in an enclosed space without much of a break (beyond taking their daughter to pee at service stations in the middle of the night) wasn't her idea of a good time. It rarely did anything to increase her love for him. Or to help their relationship in any way. They definitely worked on an absence makes the heart grow fonder scenario in their relationship.

They needed their breaks from each other or else they just argued. About everything and anything. It was actually less that they argued and more that they bickered.

They bickered like that so much that about a week before they had gone down to the courthouse, to make their life partners title a little more official sounding than that, Jack had spouted at them: "Do you really even need to get married? You already bicker like an old married couple."

Olivia couldn't even remember what they were going at each other about in that moment. Likely something inconsequentially. Breakfast or dinner or some errand or chore. It was just how they communicated. It always had been. Bicker and banter and sarcasm. Sometimes it went too far – it was usually her that took it to far and ended up rubbing Brian the wrong way or causing hurt feelings. But she was getting better about that too. She knew the topics – and his cues – for when she was toeing the line. And she knew she had to be careful about it – because there were times their bickering did escalate to arguing about more consequential things – like whether or not they should drive to Florida. Or got to Florida at all.

But they'd driven. That had been an argument that Brian had won. She'd backed down. Even though a lot of the times it was Brian who stepped aside and let her have her way – usually directly stating: "I don't want to fight with you anymore." Or that summer she'd more likely get: "Fine, whatever, we'll do it your way. Happy wife, happy life."

It always gave her a bit of pause when he put it that way. But it also gave her pause when he kept pushing something – because when he did that she knew it was important to him, even if she didn't agree with it. And, really, she'd also accepted with this being a partnership – and a marriage – she had to let him win sometimes. After the better part of her adult life being single, it was an area she was still having to work on a lot.

But he'd won that time. She'd backed down about the flight – because it really didn't matter that much in the grand scheme of … anything. It was Brian just could get so hung up on money – when Olivia felt they lived within their means. But she hated arguing with him. When they moved beyond bickering and into an actual argument, they were both just bad at it. They both just dug in their heels. They were both beyond stubborn. And she didn't want the vacation – that their family so needed – to be based around one big, ongoing argument.

It'd been close enough to that negotiating the booking furlough and how many days to take and when to schedule it with their jobs and the kids schedules and Benji's health and cases at work and Brian's mom and John state and what/if/how to include Jack (if he even wanted to be included). Sometimes it felt like Brian thought him taking any sort of furlough was some sort of comment on him as a cop, worker or man.

And, she supposed she understood she always had been lax about taking her holidays too – until she was put on forced furlough. Even after the kids were a part of their lives, it wasn't like they booked it off quite as well or as regularly as they should. They didn't use it to the full extent they had available. But they were working on that.

Benji getting sick had definitely given them some pause and slowed them down as a family. It'd changed their dynamics a bit – and Olivia thought for the better. It was nice to not feel quite as rushed. To feel less like they were in a pinball machine of running between work and picking up the kids from school and daycare and trucking them to their after-school and weekend activities and doing bedtime routine and homework and endless cooking and lunch-packing and groceries and house cleaning. Life felt a bit more manageable right now. The time they were spending as a family felt a bit more meaningful. And in all of that, it was like … they were becoming better parents – a stronger family. But they were also becoming a better couple too. They were finding more time as a couple and more time as individuals too. As horrible as knowing their child had a life of chronic illness ahead of him was – as overwhelming as it still was – it'd helped them grow a lot and there'd been positive aspects too.

Not that Fin would agree right now. He'd definitely been unimpressed she'd booked two weeks of furlough right at the end of summer – leaving him in charge just as kids got back from camps and college students arrived back in town and they had a flood of reports and victims and outcry witnesses and just drunken stupidity landing in their unit needing a lot of investigation and follow-up and interview and paperwork time. That last half of August and most of September was resulted a bit of an added circus in the workflow at SVU. And, admittedly, that'd been part of the reason she'd pushed Brian to agree to that scheduling too. She just wanted a break from having to deal with it. Though, she knew with the way Fin was with paperwork she'd arrive back to a whole lot of catch-up when her two weeks were up.

Brian needed a break too. His office – the courts, the DA's office – saw their own up-tick in the workload as the fall rolled around. Everything got a bit quieter in the summer while people with means took vacation time and went on holidays and got out of the concrete city with its repressive humidity and unceasing heat. It definitely had been a humid one that year – with more rain and thunderstorms than Olivia could remember in years. But at least it hopefully prepared them for the heat, humid and daily afternoon rain storms they'd been told to be prepared for in Florida.

And yet even though they'd survived the trip so far, with all it felt like they still needed to be prepared for, Olivia still wasn't sure how she felt about her and Brian starting a vacation on no sleep and functioning under highway hypnosis.

She'd actually slept on the drive more than she'd expected when it was her turn in the passenger seat. Brian had let her sleep longer than their agreed on driving shifts to make this trip. Not that that was going to be doing anything for his demeanor as the day went on either.

Olivia was pretty sure Brian had only managed an hour or two shut-eye through the night. And he might've just shut his eyes – not actually slept. Not that that was particularly uncommon for him. But usually when he was up all night he was staring blankly at the television not the endless center-lines and tail-lights on the highways and freeways down to the southern states.

But so be it. This was the agreement they'd reached to have this vacation. But as part of the agreement, she'd made sure Brian acknowledged that not having to fly or rent a car was saving them a lot of money. And they were already saving a lot of money with staying at Cragen's and Eileen's for the majority of their vacation. Considering where they were and the amount of time they'd ultimately agreed to take off for this holiday – they were having a pretty budget-friendly vacation.

That said, the agreement had been that with saving that money – she wasn't going to hear Brain complaining about giving the kids a couple days that weren't just beach days. Not that she wasn't looking forward to getting to the beach – and getting to spend some time sitting and doing nothing in the sun and sand and surf, beyond hopefully having to watch the kids play and read a book. Though, she more than suspected that wasn't going to be exactly how their holiday would play out either.

Not that she had a lot of family vacations under her belt with the kids to know. But that also meant the kids hadn't had a lot of full-on getaways to have much of a point of comparison of what a vacation was supposed to look like. So hopefully beach time at Captain's and Nana's fit their limited expectations. And everything else they thought they might try to do or see would just be icing on the cake.

It better be – because Olivia still really wasn't sure how much Benji could handle. Benji's health had definitely made planning this a challenge. But he'd had a reasonably good summer. Considering all the fear mongering the doctors had given them about the sun and heat and humidity and the chance for a flare in Benji's symptoms – they'd done really well. Though, they'd been vigilant. They'd made a lot of adjustments.

But they'd been going through a whole year of adjustments. 2019 was proving a very big year of adjustments for them. They all just needed a break from that. Or a moment to celebrate how far they'd come. And that's what this was really about.

But Olivia still feared that they might be setting themselves up for disaster. Beyond the necessity to be vigilant with Benji's health (and limits) in a whole new (and much hotter and humidier) setting, Brian had more than stated that he was pretty sure none of them were made for the kind of holiday they were starting this trip out as.

Olivia wasn't entirely sure she agreed with that either. And she wasn't sure Brian completely believed it when he said it too. She thought he was more excited than he wanted to readily admit about what they had planned for their first few days of holidays.

The reality was that Brian had initiated it. Even though they'd talked about coming to Florida for years, she really hadn't waded into doing a theme park with the kids. For a lot of reasons. Beyond the cost and the kids' ages, she hadn't really been sure that it was her kind of vacation. A day, two – maybe. But an actual theme park vacation? Not so much.

It had been Brian who'd heard Benji out in his starting to reach the point other kids around him were getting that family holiday experience. Brian who'd gone looking into it in more detail than her. Who'd broached the subject. Shocked her a little bit.

But there were a lot of things Brian was getting better at initiating lately. A a lot of things. Conversations. Sex. The what, when, how of family time. Projects around the house. Errands and chores without her having to badger him. Taking better care of himself – on a whole lot of levels. Mentally, physically and a emotionally. As a man and husband and father. And she knew that would mean as a cop too.

Olivia thought that it was another big change for them that year. Brian working through … admitting and accepting his victimhood. Them learning to cope with that as a couple. But as … hard … and challenging as some of that had been (as it still was, and likely would be for a long, long time, if not always), it had also been a period of growth for them as a couple. Olivia felt like – knew – as hard as it'd been on their relationship, it'd also solidified it. It'd made them slow down and put time into their relationship – and each other – that they'd been lax about for too long. Too much of their energy and time had been focused on being parents. There hadn't been enough time spent – put aside – for them. But she felt like they were in a good place right now. A strong place. A more intimate place. It was better for both of them.

So right now as much as Brian was preaching that 'they weren't made for this kind of vacation' – she was taking it with a grain of salt. Her response had pretty much consistently been that she was sure it'd be fine. Even though multiple people had told her that they were being overly optimistic about their ability to just show up at an Orlando theme park and play it all by ear. But kids – parenting, especially when there was a sick little boy involved in it all now – usually meant it played it by ear anyway. And she didn't want to get herself (or Brian – or most especially the kids) all invested and excited about something that might not entirely work out.

Her and Brian were horrible at vacation planning anyway. It was an added reason as to why they didn't utilize their furlough very well and why they even more rarely ventured outside the city limits. And when they did – it was usually day trips. They were pretty last minute, play it by ear people when it came to family time and the kids. Especially now with Benji. And even just with the demands of their jobs and how murders, rapists, child molesters and pedophiles really didn't work on a 9-to-5 clock that suited a business hours, Monday-to-Friday schedule. They were on-call and on-rotation and listed as duty officer for various units, districtions or emergency scenarios more times than not. Really the only way to get out of that was to specifically put in for furlough and make sure arrangements were in place that they were covered off.

So they did have a loose plan. The very loose plan being based mostly on Brian's minimal research and priorities. He wanted to take the kids to the Super Hero land at Universal – and, of course, they'd make sure to get over to the Transformer ride too (which, apparently was not in Super Hero land because apparently they were distinct from super heroes. Olivia hadn't bothered with arguing about that distinction and its stupidity either.).

None of that likely would've been Olivia's plan. But she acknowledged that both Emmy and Benji would love it. That she knew Brian was acting like they were just doing this for the kids – but that he'd get a certain amount of enjoyment out of it too. And she knew they both would get a lot of enjoyment out of watching the kids interact with it all.

If they managed anything more than that in the bit of time they were slotting for starting their trip out in Orlando – of which the kids were completely unaware was even happening – it didn't really matter. It was enough of a plan. A loose plan that worked for their family. That was just how their family worked.

And as for when they did actually get to Cragen and Eileen's?

Brian might not love the beach – because he just burned. Or became one giant freckle, depending on how you looked at it (and how much he actually applied sunscreen). Much like her son. Benji – always so much, and so strangely, Brian's.

But Brian did thrive on outdoor time. He thrived on time with the kids. He liked fishing. He liked to grill. He liked going for bike rides and playing with the kids in the water. So Olivia knew that even though this might not have been his first choice of how to book some summer vacation time – he much would've preferred a cabin and the mountains – he'd still end up enjoying it.

She really hoped, because he needed and deserved the break so much too.

She'd tried to make sure Cragen and Eileen had reasonable expectations about who Brian was and the way Brian was too. That he moved between two states – that he'd be perfectly happy sitting with a beer doing nothing beyond watching whatever was on the sports channel and then he'd be so restless that he'd be wanting to find some kind of project, whether that was taking over all the cooking or dragging the kids to every playground within bike ride distance.

She really hoped that Don and Eileen didn't get over-exposed to all of them. She was nervous about that. More so with Eileen than him. She was pretty sure Cragen had more than a good idea of exactly how and who her and Brian were. But he'd been good about her warning about Brian. He'd assured they'd stay out of their way and that it was their vacation to do with it whatever they wanted. To make themselves at home. And at least Don and Eileen had a general idea of what their home life looked like. Even if the kids generally were on their best behavior for their Captain and Nana. That might change when they had almost two weeks to show of their true colors and insanity, though.

But Olivia was trying to go in with an open mind. She was determined to keep Brian and the kids flexible in their expectations. Generally, she thought they did a pretty good job at keeping their kids' expectations fairly low.

In a lot of ways the majority of this vacation wouldn't be that different from the rest of their summer. They pretty much lived in parks and at playgrounds and checking out the various beaches around the city in the hours they weren't at work. And when they weren't one of those three places this summer – they'd been in their garden.

She was so glad they had bought a house even with that small space to call their own. It was big enough for the kids to have some outdoor toys to dirt around and play around and get dirty while breathing in some outside air. It was big enough for her to have a patio and chair and shade to read in. Big enough for Brian's grill that he'd become quite proficient at that summer.

They'd all been quite content and happy. It'd been a nice couple months of them enjoying the weather (such as it was) as much as they could for as long as it lasted. Though, the forecasters were saying the Indian Summer that year was going to be much nicer than what the actual summer had brought them. But that was good too. Their family usually liked the fall too. That was one season they did seem to make an effort to get out of the city some to see the colors – to go on a hike or two - and to get to orchards and pumpkin patches with the kids.

So even if these first few days of this trip – the effort they were gunning for - did derail a bit and they had to pull the plug earlier than she hoped – Olivia still hoped the kids would be happy. And their wouldn't be too many frustrations, trauma or waterworks in the process.

There's where the gamble came in. And she thought maybe they were both still weighing if they should just pull the plug before they even tried. Go to Plan B. But that's not what she wanted. And, again, she didn't think it was what Brian wanted either. They wanted to make this work – for all of them.

"How you doing back there, Ben?" Brian asked.

"I want to lay down," Benji grumbled. "In a bed."

Her and Brian shared a look. Not the best sign.

"We'll make sure you get to lay flat and stretch your legs out soon, Little Fox," she assured.

"Not me," Emmy said. "I'm not gonna sleep more. I;m gonna go swimmin'. At the beach. In da ocean. 'Cuz the sand at Cap and Nana-Lean's is special. Right?"

Olivia gave her a little smile. "You're right, Little Duck. It's quartz. So it's white – not brown like in sandboxes and on the beaches at home. And it's supposed to be really sticky and good for making sand castles."

"Jep," Emmy nodded. "That's what Cap'n and Nana-Lean say too. But I make a sand narwhal. Not a cas-ill. They kinda white. And sticky sand will make it easy to make its horn-tusk. So I won't have to use a tree stick. But maybe I'll find a good, big shell for its tusk. And teeth. Be-cuz Cap'n say there SHARK TEETH on his and Nana-Lean's beach. So I'll find lots of those. Right, Mommy?"

"We'll definitely try to find shark teeth," she agreed.

"Jep," Emmy allowed. "We hafta use a special shove-il. It's like a sand shove-il and a snow-shove-il. Together. Dat what Cap'n said."

"Well, he'd know better than me," Olivia allowed.

If anything it had been Cragen and Eileen who might've risen their kids expectations for this trip. Benji and Emily had been hearing about their grandparents place in Florida for years now. Both the kids had latched onto little things they'd been told about their place and the area it was in. There definitely was a bit of a bucket list of activities that the kids kept mentioning they could do at Cragen and Eileen's.

There was no way they were going to have time for them all. But Olivia also thought as soon as the kids saw the volume of sand and beach toys that Cragen and Eileen had in supply – and then saw the actual beach and ocean – the bucket list might get forgotten. She knew her kids could lose themselves in a park, playground and beach for a whole day. They did it at home all the time.

But Cragen had definitely made sure she knew about activity options and daytrips in the area. And, she was sure they'd try to get at least a couple of them in. Maybe after she'd gotten to sit on the beach a couple days herself. She'd like to get to Tarpon Springs and to see the sponge docks and boats coming in. And there were some specific beaches and islands that she hoped she they might get to.

She also hoped she might be able to sneak away one day and go to one of the outlet malls to do some actually hoping. Brian had scoffed at that – when they lived in New York City. But she rarely got a chance to go out to do clothes shopping anymore – and when she did it was usually just to one or two stores that were spread all over Manhattan and priced at points she was usually no longer willing to pay. It'd be nice to just hit some of the stores all in one place. And she also suspected as much as Brian had a commentary about that – he'd likely end up coming too and them just letting Cragen and Eileen have a grandkids day. Brian might not be as put-together as the kind of men she'd imagined she'd end up with, but he did have his own sense of style and he didn't get shopping much either anymore. He'd go into his own stores. And maybe he'd buy her lunch before they headed back to the kids.

Really big plans and high hopes she had for their vacation. It was going to be low key. After these first few days. If they turned off the exit coming up. If they were able to make it work.

"Jep," Emmy nodded again and bounced a bit in her chair. She was so excited about getting to the beach, Olivia was almost concerned that their pending delay in getting there might be a let down to their little girl that would cause waterworks undo their own.

"How much farther to Captain and Nana's?" Benji muttered.

"Their place is still about hundred and thirty miles away," Brian said. It wasn't a lie. "Two hours or so, bud."

Benji groaned at that and gazed out the window a bit, squinting at some of the passing cars and signs. Olivia stared again watching him do a bit of a double-take, his eyes tracking with another billboard. That one had a giant Transformer on it.

"OP-TIM-IS!" Emmy cried and pointed. "See! Ben-gee! I tell you! You been missin' all da pictures! El-sah and Oh-loof and Mickey M-O-U-S-E and Minions and dino-sores and ass-too-nots and HULK and 'PIE-DER-MAN!"

"Where are we?" Benji asked.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**There will be a continuation of this chapter. It was getting too long.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

They were finally starting to get some registration and the start of a reaction out of Benji.

"We're heading through Orlando," Olivia smiled.

Benji's eyes tracked over to her, considering that. "Oh …," he sighed a little.

They'd been very clear with him – because Emmy didn't seem to have much of a perspective yet on what theme parks were or were they were or what exactly Universal Studios or Disney World were. But Benji did.

With him they'd had to repeatedly stress that the purpose of this vacation was to see Captain Cragen and their Nana. That maybe some day they'd go to Florida to do the theme parks that he'd heard kids at school and hockey and basketball talk about – but that would not be this trip.

Not when he'd just finished his first six months of treatment and they were starting to see improvement in him. Not when it was still Florida summer heat. Not when he'd be starting middle school in a couple weeks and they needed him at his best and most rested and healthiest.

They'd spend time with their grandparents. They'd swim in the ocean. They'd do some fishing out on Captain's boat. That they'd do some fun things around Captain and Nana's condo – mini putt-putt, ice cream, broadways and sand dunes and bike rides and new playgrounds and skateparks and likely a zoo or nature reserve or aquarium. But it was not a theme park trip.

Or that's what they'd told him.

And maybe they'd actually meant it when they'd started preparing the kids for this vacation at the tail-end of their summer break.

Because they had wanted to see how Benji survived the summer heat and humidity back home. They wanted to make sure that the six rounds of IVs were done. They wanted to see where his lupus flares were with where he was had in his treatment and almost seven months into his oral medications.

But that was then. And well … now was now.

"Why da signs say Amazing 'Pie-der-man lives here?" Emmy asked and then punctuated, "'Pie-der-man live in New - York - City. Just - like - us."

"They're signs for rides," Benji muttered.

"Ohhhhh," Emmy said and kept her nose planted on the glass. "You getta ride a dino-sore too? WAIT! How you ride 'Pie-der-man? That's silly."

Benji huffed at her. "I dunno. Ducky, it's like normal rides."

His sister looked at him. "A dino-sore carry-sell?" And then a bit more excitedly, "'Pie-der-man Marvel Duper HERO carry-sell?!"

His forehead rested against the glass. "No, Emmy," he sighed. "Like rides at Coney Island rides."

"Rolly-coasters are 'cccccccaaaaaarrrry," she said flatly. And Olivia smiled.

"Yea," Benji grumbled. "'Zactly. You are waaaay too 'lil."

Emmy's eyes darted at him. "I not 'lil. I am a Grade One big gurl now!"

"Yea. Zactly! Still waaaay too 'lil," Benji directed at her. "And you're way too scared. So we're not doing any rides this vacation."

"You 'cared for rolly-coasters too, Ben-gee," she argued.

Benji gave her a dirty look but there was some truth to that observation from Emmy.

Benji was grossly uninterested in the rides at their local amusement park. And he just generally was a timid child. He still wasn't big on crowds.

Though, he was a New York City kid. So Olivia was hoping they'd tempered some of that. They had enough practice dealing with various crowd levels and crowded situations and masses of people in their daily life and weekly routines. But city life was still decidedly different than what they'd been warned to expect at an Orlando theme park still in the midst of summer holiday season. So this could be yet another way all of this could end up blow up in her face a bit. Then Brian would passive aggressively contend that he'd been right along. Though, Olivia really still hoped she'd be the one getting to very directly tell him that she'd been right along.

They could do this. They could handle this. It'd be good for them. All of them. This was the right time to do this for both of their children – and in a time period and point in their family life that she felt her and Brian would get the most of out the experience as parents too.

"I've done rides before when I was way 'lil'er than you. Mom took me to Disney when I was 'lil. Like, I dunno, like four. And I wasn't scared."

Olivia smiled a little at that.

It was almost laughable. She wasn't sure the rides Benji was tall enough and had any interest in riding at Disneyland were going to be remotely comparable to what they might get to experience the next couple days. And even then there'd certainly been moments of reluctance out of the little boy in that environment.

And really Benji had been so young Olivia wasn't sure he remembered much of any of it beyond her and Jack telling him they'd gone and him seeing pictures of it. But he still sometimes said things that made her think he had snippets of memories about Cars Land. That seemed to have been seared into his mind as a happy childhood memory.

She was hoping to accomplish that again this time. To maybe have the memories be a little bit clearer for both Benji and Emmy with the ages they were at. Six and ten. It seemed like a sweet spot. It actually seemed like they were just getting outside of the sweet stop. Her and Brian had both been horrified to realize they'd delayed an attempt at this kind of family vacation long enough that Benji was classified as an 'adult'. It was kind of ridiculous. And it made her realize even more than she already did on a near weekly basis just how quickly her kids were growing up. Just how short the years were and what a small period of time in their lives did they have a childhood. How it was already slipping away so quickly even though the challenges of parenting didn't seem to be getting any easier. But she didn't have babies and toddlers and preschoolers anymore. She had a little girl entering Grade One and a little boy starting middle school. And it just felt like it was barely a blink of an eye ago that both of these children had ended up on her doorstep and she had all these new and unexpected doors opening in her life. This entirely new and different phase of her life that sometimes made it hard for her to remember – or recognize – that person she'd spent the first twenty-five or more years of her adulthood as.

So she really hoped they were still little enough. That this was still the right time to do this. That Emmy still young enough to have some of the same awe and surprise that had been written all over Benji's little face those years ago. That Benji wasn't grown-up enough that meeting his super hero heroes would be too childish. That the rides wouldn't be too scary or too grown up. That a couple days of pretending their imaginary escapes might bring some joy and distraction. And some happy memories to their family – despite her and Brian's shared distaste about the commercial aspect of the whole experience.

But it was about more than that. It was … about normalcy. It was this other layer of her and Brian jointly trying to give these two little kids moments and memories and experiences and connections that were so different than the kind either of them had growing up with single mothers and no siblings and lack of means or desire to leave New York City and the various traumas that had haunted the two women who raised them. She supposed they were both trying to be different and better than their parent. Or they were just … trying to give their kids a different kind of childhood than what they'd had.

Olivia reached out and give a little shake of Benji's knee. "No fighting," she nodded at him directly.

After a school-year full of Benji and Emmy being at each other nearly daily – to the point that it was driving her and Brian both insane. That they didn't know if this was just how siblings acted or if there was something more going on. If they were failing as parents. If their own personal bickering in their relationship was setting a bad example for their kids. But it'd suddenly calmed that summer. It levelled out and they had their two goofy, silly, loving brother and sister back. They still annoyed each other regularly and they still bickered and nattered almost constantly but the blow up and brawls and shoves and growls and tears had stopped.

It'd become pretty clear that part of the problem had been the whole school setting. Benji feeling like he had to protect his little sister but his baby sister picking up on some of what was going on with him and feeling like she had to come to his defence too. Which just seemed to provide additional ammo for the kids to pick on Benji even more. Add in how different Benji and Emmy were in their learning abilities and academic abilities. It wasn't just the kids at school who'd picked up on that – Benji and Emily had become increasingly aware of their differences too. Most especially in their reading abilities – causing near nightly fights at bedtime story reading as the year progressed. But the teachers had picked up on it too. Olivia knew that there were comparisons being drawn between Benji and Emmy by the staff – even if the children were being treated as individuals.

She could tell Benji was relieved to be out of that school. She could tell he was so happy that her and Brian had gone and gotten 'married'. Benji had been so, so happy about that. He was in another sweet spot where he was old enough to understand but young enough to perceive it in a different way than a child a bit older or Emmy's age did. But it was another moment of 'normalcy' for him. Another element of giving their children something resembling 'normalcy'. Or as normal as they could manage for them in the scenario, in which they'd created their family. He was thrilled that paperwork had been filed for Brian to officially adopt him. He was even more excited that the paperwork had congruently been put in to give him the hyphenated surname of the man who'd be listed as his father. Though, he seemed to want that to happen before he ended up at school in a few weeks, which wasn't likely to be stamped yet. But it was like Benji thought he could start this school with a clean slate and a new identity. Ben Benson-Cassidy – with an older brother and a little sister and a marriage mom and dad. Benji's version of the Waltons (which they most definitely were not).

But Olivia so hoped for that clean slate for him too. For all of them. Even though the age gap between Benji and Emmy was starting to show its own new inconveniences and frustrations with them being off in separate schools for the rest of their public school careers. And two after-school programs and them always being in different age groupings in their sports and summer camps and etc., etc., etc. But Olivia thought it'd be good for both of them to not have those comparisons made between them so directly. To not have the example right there in front of other teachers and administrators and parents and students.

This middle school was better equipped – designated – as a school meant to deal with students with learning disabilities. Its extra, added programming in math and science hit so perfectly on the areas that Benji did excel at and would hopefully just help him grow in even more. And her little boy was already excited about some of the special units they had for the kids at the school. It was a public school. It was in their zone. It wouldn't be too hard for them to co-ordinate getting both their kids where they needed to be in the mornings. And only a handful of students from Benji's primary school had made it through the lottery and into the school with him. He – hopefully – wouldn't have too much of a collective memory hanging over him about who he was and how he was.

And all of that had seemed to lead to a shift in her little boy's behavior that summer. He'd calmed so much after they wrapped up the school year. Him and Emmy had both loved their summer camps in arts and crafts and science and robotics. They'd gotten to spend so much time with Cragen and Eileen and their Gramma and Jack. Her and Brian had been purposeful in making sure they were getting home by seven and enjoying the long, summer evenings with their kids. It'd been nice not to have soccer taking up so many of their evenings. To instead spend it at the park and on playgrounds and by the water and on bike rides. Or in the garden. To let Benji and Emmy play together – without homework and bedtime arguments and evening sports to get to.

She had her kids back – without the constant arguing. She wasn't about to watch that slip away.

"You two have been so good about not bickering this summer," she warned. "Don't start up now. Vacation doesn't mean a vacation from rules and consequences."

Benji huffed a little at that and then looked at Emmy again, grumbling, "It doesn't even matter 'cuz we're just goin' to Cap and Nan's anyway."

"Jep," Emmy agreed, completely undeterred by the tone and attitude she was getting from her brother. She looked back out the window. "And we see mer-mades."

Benji sighed and went back to staring out his window. "We are not gonna see mermaids."

"Jep," Emmy argued. "We will. Mommy said."

Olivia shared a little smile at that with Brian, and leaned more around her seat to look at the arguing kiddos – nature or nurture there. Still more reason on why her and Brian needed to get better about their own bickering.

"I said we might get to see manatees," she nodded at her daughter.

She was actually really wishing that the manatee possibility had never gotten mentioned. Though Cragen had told her some spots they might get lucky and spot one, it didn't sound like it was the time of year where they were guaranteed a sighting. They would have more lucky in the 'colder' months – a Thanksgiving or Christmas or Winter Break trip. And Olivia suspected if they didn't see a manatee they might have to start saying that one of those trips would be happening at some non-committal point in the future just to avoid a meltdown about not seeing the 'mermaid cows'.

"Jep," Emmy bounced in her seat. "They mer-made cows."

"Marine cows," Olivia attempted in gentle correction.

It didn't work. "Jep. Mer-made cows," Emmy agreed. "Just like nar-whals. They unicorn whales. Unicorns of da sea! Naaarrrrrrr-whaaaaall."

Olivia rolled her eyes a little. Though, Benji absent-mindedly joined his sister a little in the Narwhal Wail that had become such an ingrained habit between the two of them. And that made Olivia smile.

"Mommy? You think we see a nar-whal too?" Emmy asked.

Olivia shared another look with Brian and rubbed at her eyebrow. "You're the family's marine biologist, Little Duck. What do you think?"

"You won't see a narwhal in Florida," Benji provided.

Emmy gazed at her brother with some clear offense but then let out a big, exaggerated sigh. "They live in the Art-ick," she allowed. "But maybe one got lost. In Floor-duh? Right, Mommy?"

"Maybe," Olivia allowed with a shrug. But she gave Brian another smile. He'd smiled at that too. But shook his head just slightly. These kids were funny. Far funnier than Olivia thought her or Brian had ever been. Though, Don and John both had contended individually – and jointly – that a whole lot of the sass (and some of the wit) they got out of the two was nurture. Basically – it was her and Brian's fault, and they'd be paying for it even more in the years ahead of them. Little kid sass and commentary was still funny. It'd likely be much less so when teens reared their heads in their family.

"Maybe you'll just see a shark instead," Benji said and planted his forehead against the window as they went passed a Jaws sign. Emmy gaped at the giant beast with its wide open jaws on the billboard.

"That a ride too?"

Brian glanced at the billboard. "Yea," he provided, garnering an even more horrified look from Emmy. Olivia shoot him a look. He glanced in the rear view at Emmy's increasingly terrified face. "Em," he assured, "it's fake. It's just a movie from when me and Mom were kiddos."

Emmy crossed her arms, straightening in some attempted confidence and looked right at her brother. "Dere no sharks in Florida," she contended.

"Yea, there are," Benji kept her eyes. "Where do you think all the shark teeth come from?"

"They foz-ills," Emmy provided confidently. Their little girl – too much confidence all the time. They definitely had their hands full and definitely would for years to come. "Those are dead, dino-sore, aint-chen sharks."

Benji stared right at her. "But Peedg caught a shark with Cap'n," he said. "'Member?"

Emmy shook her head hard. "Noooo," she said, deflating a bit as she said it. "Dack just tellin' stories. Right, Mommy?" she near begged.

"It wasn't no story," Benji said. "It was real. He had a picture. 'Member?"

Emmy's mouth hung open. "Dere sharks at Cap'n's beach? In his and Nana-Lean's ocean?" The tone was somewhere between shook and accusation – like they'd all been lying to her for months.

Olivia gave Benji a firm look and then found Emmy's eyes. "No, Emmy," she assured. "I don't know where Jack and Captain went fishing but it wasn't just on the beach."

"And it was just a baby shark anyway," Benji said but then grinned. "Doo doo doo doo doo doo," he sung.

Emmy gasped in horror again. "Dack hunt-eded and kill-eded a baby shark?"

"See," Benji said. "Peedg should've come. He coulda been your shark slayer."

Emmy shook her head. "Dack can't come on 'cation if he a shark kill-er! Dat's mean!"

Benji sighed a little. "I wish Peedg came."

Olivia shared another little look with Brian and leaned around to look into the back seat a bit again. "I know, sweetheart. But it's hard to book time off when you're just starting a new job."

"He works even more then you guys," Benji mumbled and then found her eyes.

"Dack very bizzy with building things and did not wanna come be-cuz it very where-d and goss to go on a honeymoon," Emmy told her brother.

Olivia and Brian shared another look.

"Well, his loss then," Olivia said.

"Jep," Emmy nodded. "'Cuz I think honeymoons are fun!"

"Yea … they're supposed to be," Brian muttered.

Olivia gave his knee a little smack. He shrugged at her.

Brian had already expressed that this wasn't his definition of a vacation – or a honeymoon. It wasn't Olivia's either.

Reality – they weren't in at a place in their lives that those past definitions were applicable to them. And the other reality was that there'd been a lot of nights that summer where Janet had taken the kids overnight (or Jack had been over and they could send him out to the park with them or they could at least slip upstairs while he played or watched TV with them). So that had been their private and alone time – a smattering of date nights and dinners out and wine and shared baths and summers or quiet time on the patio or up in their bed without kids down the hall. That was about as close as they were going to get to a honeymoon at this stage in their lives.

Olivia thought the bigger issue for Brian's muttering was that they'd definitely put enough time and effort into their relationship and intimacy levels that year that the rut their sex life had been in was definitely over. They weren't at the once or twice a month stage they'd spent the better part of a long year in. They were more at two or three times a week. Daily with some kind of physical intimacy – touching, kissing, cuddling. And Brian definitely wasn't looking forward to what he expected to be two dry weeks.

Olivia didn't think it was going to be quite that. She was sure Don and Eileen would be taking the kids out for an afternoon or two or three over the course of their visit. She knew they'd have a bedroom – and en suite bathroom – of their own. It was more a rather significant mental block – even at their ages – about just who's home and bedroom they'd be in.

They were adults. Both of them had had much longer dry spells. They could survive two weeks without. But the mention of it as a 'family honeymoon' still seemed to ruffled Brian's feathers the wrong way.

"Jah," Emmy said and leaned forward in her seat to stare at Brian. "And we get to have tree honeymoons. Gloria said. Mommys and Daddys hafta take a honeymoon for each of dere kids. So me and Bee-gee and Dack. Dat tree! So two more!"

Brian and Olivia managed an amused look at that.

"How many brothers and sisters does Gloria have?" Brian asked.

"Gist a sista," Emmy said.

"Mmm. You sure Gloria's mom and dad took their kids on their honeymoon?" Brian asked.

"The first one is a honeymoon," Benji provided. "And then Moms and Dads take babymoons," he looked at Emmy – like he clearly understood all this better than her. "And they don't take the kids on the babymoon. It's like, I don't know, before the baby is born."

"This sounds very complicated," Olivia said and shared another look with Brian.

"It's not," Benji said – all-knowingly. "You only get one honeymoon. So this is it and Peedg didn't come. And he's gonna miss Dad's birthday too."

Brian's eyes went up to the rear view again and took in Benji. "It's OK, Big Man. We'll do something with Jack and Gramma and Unkie Munchie when we get back home. Not a big deal."

"So we're not doin' your birthday on your birthday?"

Brian shrugged a little. "Yea, I don't know. Maybe we'll see about having some cake on the big day."

"And ouce-ceem!" Emmy provided. "Cake is goss."

Olivia leaned around again and pinched at the toe of their little girl's shoe, giving her foot a little shake. "Daddy gets to pick what he wants on his birthday. It's his birthday."

Emmy gave her a little pout and tugged her toe away, crossing her arms in some defiance and staring out the window again.

Benji's eyes tracked out the window too. "Does that sign say Twilight Zone?" he asked.

Brian again glanced from his driving. "Yea, Big Man."

"Are there new episodes?" Benji asked.

Jack had started his little nephew in on watching the old episodes of the Twilight Zone that summer. Olivia had been concerned about nightmares but the old ones were so kitschy that Benji had really just been fascinated. In reality, there'd been a lot of nights her and Brian had ended up sitting and watching an episode with the boys too. It'd been so humid that summer that Jack had showed up at their place a lot looking to soak in their air conditioning or to actually be able to get in a night's sleep where the heat and humidity of his shoe-box apartment wasn't keeping him up all night.

Brian was pretty convinced that they were going to return home to Jack (and potentially the girlfriend) having covertly semi-moved into their house. Olivia accepted that it was enough of a possibility that they'd had some discussions on the ground rules and just how they'd deal with that situation. And how to deal with it if they got the sense it was happening while they were away too. In essence, Janet was supposed to be checking on the house (and Jack) for them. Hopefully she didn't walk in on something that turned into some unnecessary family drama. And hopefully Janet didn't decide she wanted to be the one covertly semi-moving into their house either.

"That's for a ride too," Brian said.

Benji looked behind his shoulder, still considering the sign. "A Twilight Zone ride," he said with some quiet wonder. "Where?"

"It said Hollywood Studios," Brian provided.

"Universal Studios," Benji said. "Hollywood Studios is in California."

"Think Hollywood Studios is the Disney one, bud. And Universal is the Universal one," Brian said giving Olivia a look. They'd decided to just attempt the one park. They hadn't considered the bombardment of advertising – and the awareness of options and differences it might create – on the way into the city.

"Dere Woody and Buzz," Emmy said pointing out the window on her side. "Dat movie sooooooo good!"

"It was," Olivia agreed. They'd definitely also sunk money into more commercial propaganda with the number of films they'd been to in the theater. But the rain and the humidity – and Benji's health and managing his flares and fatigue – definitely meant that sometimes sitting inside in the dark was a better option than running around in the weather.

"It a ride too?" she asked.

"I think so, Little Duck," Olivia allowed carefully, sharing another small look with Brian. This might be where flying by the seat of their pants and playing it by ear came into things. But he gave his head a little shake at her.

And he was right. Cragen had warned them that "Hollywood Studios" was where the new Star Wars Land was opening and would be opening during the course of their trip. He said that all indications from Eileen's obsessed grandkids were that it meant that particular park was likely going to be chaos. Though, she didn't think it was open yet. But there still might be a flood of people trying to see the park before it was engulfed.

Beyond that Leo was absolutely obsessed with Toy Story. And Alex and Trevor had taken their little boy down to Florida last year not long after that area of the park had opened. With Trevor's pay grade they'd more than gone all-out. They'd stayed on-site in a 'deluxe' hotel that according to Alex's standards 'wasn't so deluxe'. And they'd paid a bunch of upgrade fees to try to avoid lines and crowds and meet characters. It all seemed like a little much in expense and planning – especially when Olivia's point of comparison was spending one day at Disneyland to let her then Cars obsessed little boy meet his heroes – and staying in a motel well outside the park and buying tickets at the gates that morning for only one park and hardly scratching the surface there. But Alex (and now especially with Trevor) always had vacationed and travelled and had a lifestyle that was more than a little Upper East Side and WASP-y. But Alex's assessment of their Disney, Orlando and theme park experience had been: "NEVER AGAIN!"

Olivia wasn't sure how that would actually play out. Trevor (and Leo) had seemed much more taken with their vacation. He'd actually been an overly enthusiastic resource when it'd gotten mentioned they may spend a day or two in Orlando at the start of their vacation. Though, he'd been somewhat aghast they hadn't started planning and booking at least six months out. That they didn't intend to include any of the Disney parks and that they initially hadn't been planning on staying on-site. He'd been outright horrified (to the point it was funny – Brian had been giving the other man such a look that he'd actually excused himself from the patio, supposedly to get more cold beer and another bottle of wine, but Olivia knew it was to mask his reaction) when they'd said they probably weren't going to bother with doing Harry Potter Land yet. That they thought with their kids just hitting the Super Hero land for a day would be enough. Apparently that was a poor choice – in Trevor's opinion. And he couldn't wait until Leo was old enough to take to the "Wizarding World". That had been the point Brian had left the table.

"At Hollywood Studios?" Benji asked.

Olivia rubbed her eyebrow and leaned into the backseat again. "I'm not sure, Little Fox." That was a lie. She had been fully briefed on the location of Toy Story Land. Her kids weren't even that into Toy Story at this point. But if it was garnering this kind of reaction – and piqued interest – she wasn't looking forward to when they started hitting signs for Lego Land.

"We did a drawing and animation class at Disney in California," Benji gazed at her. There was a hopefulness to it. "Peedg made those pictures for me. In our room."

She gave him a thin smile and a little nod. "You're right. That's where he did those."

"Do they have art class here?" he asked – there was even more hopefulness to it.

Olivia exhaled a bit and shared another little look with Brian. She could see him giving her some side-eye. "I really don't know, Benj."

He made a little sound – there was disappointment to it. He looked out of the window again briefly but then turned back her way.

"Mom …"

She kept his eyes.

"I think I kinda need a stretch break. I feel really achey," he aid quietly.

"OK," she mouthed and gave Brian another glance and the highway signs a scan, gauging the route on the GPS quickly. They were almost where they needed to be getting off anyway. "Well, it's getting close to your pill time. And I could really use a coffee. So let's see if we can find somewhere for some breakfast and a stretch."

"But, Mommy," Emmy said. "You're not supposa drink coffee when we're in the car long. It go right through you."

Brian made an amused noise and cast Olivia a look. She gave her head a little shake and rubbed her eyebrow.

"Thank you for that, Little Duck. But it's almost Benji's pill time and I think I'll be close enough to a bathroom in the restaurant."

"OK," Emmy said. "It OK Mommy. Even tho you can't hold your coffee—"

Brian let out a more amused noise at that. Olivia shook her head again and gave him another look – because their daughter was repeating something he would've said verbatim: "Mom can't hold her coffee."

"Dack still the 'tinky-est when he hasta go. And I have the smmmmeeeeeelllly-est farts!"

"You do," Benji agreed.

"Jep," Emmy said proudly. Definitely something to be proud of … in a household where a little girl was growing up with two older brothers. And Brian. A princess who was her own hero.

Brian started moving toward the exit. "OK," he said, looking into the rear view mirror again at the kids. "Help me keep an eye out for some kind of coffee and donut joint for your mom."

"Cop shop," Benji provided.

Olivia rolled her eyes. And there was Jack talking – along with them even if he wasn't there.

They drove for a bit more – the kids gazing out the window on their assigned mission. There really wasn't much on this wide, busy raod. But then they came to a stop light. The first at the red. And she again shared a look with Brian and turned to watch the kids in the back seat while he stared at them in the rear view.

"Dere a rolly-coaster," Emmy finally said.

Benji leaned over into her space a bit to look out her window. "Where?"

"Dere," she said and pointed.

Benji stared and made a small sound of acknowledgement but then moved to sit back in his space. But he glanced out the front windshield as he did. Olivia watched as he leaned back again and stared between their two front seats.

"That sign says Universal," Benji said and squinted at her.

Olivia glanced over her shoulder looking out the window. "Does it?"

He gave her a look. "Yea … doesn't it, Mom?"

"Mmm …," she allowed.

Benji stared at her. "But that's like a sign sign, not like a highway sign. Like not about a ride."

"Mmm …," she allowed again – though she knew she was smiling a little. She wasn't great at the poker face with her kids. Not for something like this.

Benji squinted at her and then glanced at Brian. "Dad," he said. "Is this Universal? There's a sign. And a rollercoaster over there."

Brian grunted a bit and then shrugged, tapping at the GPS. "Maybe. Thing says there's a Starbucks up ahead. Can grab your Mom's coffee."

"Oh …," Benji allowed and slumped back in his seat a bit. But Olivia could see his eyes still scanning all the windows now, taking in their surroundings.

The light turned and Brian started going again. The kids stared out the window more as they started passing entrances to some of the hotels. As they passed the edge of the backside of the park.

"That's the park," Benji said, leaning to look out his window. "I think? Those are rides?"

Olivia gave it a glance. "Oh," she allowed. "Wow. Pretty neat."

Benji gave a little sigh. "Maybe the next time we visit Cap'n and Nana we can go to the park?"

Brian shrugged up front. "Yea. Maybe." And he turned a corner onto another street – and went a bit farther. And then hit another stoplight – two more hotels on either side of them. "Almost there."

Benji cast him a look and then looked incredulously out the windows. "Dad, there's like no stores here. I think it's like a ramp to the highway again."

"Mmm …," Olivia said, looking around a bit. "He might be right, Bri."

But he'd already gotten the advance to turn into the one hotel. Benji and Emmy both gazed out the window.

"Mom …," Benji said and stared at her. "This is a hotel. Dad. I think you turned wrong."

"Oops." But Brian just pulled up to the front of the hotel and put the SUV into park. "Might as well get out for a stretch."

Benji squinted up at them but Emmy was already taking off her seatbelt. Olivia just leaned back and looked at him.

"Mom …?"

"A couple day stretch …," she nodded at him.

His eyes widened but looked confused. "Like … to stay here? Not Cap'n and Nana's?"

Olivia nodded at him and then looked at Emmy. "Who wants to meet Spiderman?" she asked.

Emmy's hand bolted up. "Meeeeee!"

And Benji just gaped at her and Brian. "We're gonna go into the park?"

And Olivia nodded at him. "We're going to go into the park."

And she thought her little boy – who'd been trying so hard for all those months of doctors and hospitals and treatments and medication and pain and nausea to be so, so brave and so, so grown up – looked like he might want to cry. So she undid her seat belt and gestured for him to do the same, sliding as close to him as she could in that position – holding out her arm and feeling his weight collapse against her in as tight of hug as they could manage in that tight, awkward space and positioning.

The kind of childhood – the kind of relationship and closeness and memories and moments – that she didn't have with her mother. That she couldn't imagine having with her. But that she was so glad – so blessed – to have it with these two little people.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**Some feedback, reviews and comments serve as some motivation to keep writing and posting chapters. They are also appreciated.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

Olivia's eyes widened as they got inside the lobby of the hotel. She'd kept her expectations pretty low when booking a hotel on the theme park's resort area. She'd expected that it'd be such a high traffic facility that no matter how nice the pictures looked online that it was ultimately going to be more than a little rundown and over-run with families and children. Just like them – but despite vacationing with two school-aged kids in the likely the theme park capital of the world she didn't think it was her or Brian's definition of a holiday being surrounded by others on holiday. Or as Brian put it: "Can do our little monters. Not interested in anyone else's."

But that wasn't the aura that this place was giving off at all. It didn't even feel they were in Orlando anymore. It felt like she'd just finally stepped into the all-inclusive, tropical island holiday that she'd spent a lot of her adult life looking at brochures for but had never booked.

Her hand reached and found Brian's giving it a squeeze. He lifted his sunglasses off, taking in the wide-open, bright space too and then giving her a look. A scrunched brow in question of what the hand squeeze was all about.

"Thank you," she mouthed quietly.

He kept a hold of her hand but gave a small shrug. "You picked it."

And she had. So it had been more of a thank you for not arguing with her about it. For being willing to compromise on this aspect of their trip and their spending. Because he'd just wanted to stay at a hotel outside the gates.

Olivia had actually been open to that until Alex and Trevor had spouted off reasons why that was a bad idea. It'd prompted her to look into it a bit and she'd seen that some of their points were valid, even if she wasn't sure they were entirely applicable to their circumstances. But ultimately she'd thought some of their circumstances – made staying on site make sense. Given Benji's circumstance.

The early entrance to the parks – when it would hopefully be cooler. And hopefully less crowded. The ability to get back to the hotel – hopefully – quickly and easily if Benji was flaring and needed a break out of the heat and the sun. The 'front of the line' passes that would hopefully mean shorter wait times – and again less time in the heat and sun for long, standing periods. And hopefully the ability to get through a few more attractions in the very limited amount of time they were attempting this experience for their kids.

So she had looked into the on-site options.

She'd initially looked at the cheapest of the resort's hotels. It looked surprisingly nice online too and had good reviews. But she'd ultimately picked one of the hotels sitting between the value and the deluxe levels.

Olivia's hope that been that maybe it'd feel a little more grown-up for her and Brian – and be a little less over-run and quieter for the family to be able to enjoy it. She didn't really want to feel like they were still at the theme park in the hours they weren't at the park. Even if they were only going to be there a few days.

They all seemed drawn across the lobby – moving through the comfy-looking lounge furniture and under the huge chandler that looked like it was wicker woven beach balls dangling high above them. But what they were all looking at was the massive window on the opposite side of the lobby.

Olivia could feel all their eyes grow a bit wider as they got to the glass.

"Dat the ocean, Mommy?" Emmy asked, gripping at her free hand.

"That's a pool, sweetheart," she muttered and cast Brian another look.

She knew he was likely wondering just how much she spent on this weekend kick-start to their vacation. But she sure hadn't spent the kind of dollars that this place made it look like she'd spent.

This was beyond her expectations. And it made her wonder if this was what their 'moderate' on-site resort looked like – just what had Alex been complaining about from her "Grand Floridian" experience that apparently was "significantly less than deluxe". They clearly had different definitions of 'deluxe' and 'moderate'. Or Alex had much more vacationing experience and opportunities than Olivia had ever managed. And likely Trevor's pay check had only served to enhance the types of holidays – and variety of locations – they'd gotten to. That little Leo had already been to – younger than Emmy. When her and Brian had only attempted a handful of vacations – rather than staycations – with the kids. And all of them had been within driving distance. Most of them just three- or four-day weekend trips.

Olivia knew this vacation was probably going to be one of the bigger family holidays they had in their kids childhoods. Two weeks. A different state. A beach and ocean. So she could see why Emmy thought the blue waters outside the window was the ocean.

They were staring at the azure color of the water. The WHITE SAND BEACH surrounding the water. The palm trees and lounger and umbrellas and cabanas. It didn't look like they were in the middle of a city – having barely gotten off a stretch of highway.

"It's the theme park?" Benji asked, his face nearly planted against the glass. "It has a pool?"

Olivia knew it was supposed to have more than a pool. It was supposed to have pools. It was supposed to have a lazy river. And a waterslide. And a splash pad and children's water playground shaped like a pirate ship and waterfalls on a treasure island. Though, she wasn't sure she could pinpoint any of that from there – beyond the expansive pool that she was starting to think may have a sand bottom and may actually be some kind of wave pool. Emmy was right. It did look like the ocean. The whole area out the window was definitely themed enough to disguise some of the amenities (that she suspected they might even have the chance to enjoy – but standing right there she really hoped they did. Because suddenly her interest in taking the kids to the theme park was declining rapidly and she was feeling much more included to claim a chair and just spend the entire weekend enjoying the hotel resort. Maybe they even could if she did agree that it was the theme park and it did have a pool).

But she didn't. "It's definitely a themed hotel, Little Fox," she allowed, massaging at his shoulders a bit.

She would at least likely get some time in a pool lounger that day. She was going to have to try to make sure Benji got some time in the water with the way his muscles felt stiff and tight under her hand movements. They would be after that long in the car. He was likely aching and hurting more than he was letting on. Benji was getting good at masking his pain. And she didn't like that.

Still, she thought the kids wouldn't argue too much about getting pool time. They loved the pool and beach and splashpads and water playgrounds at home. And this undisputedly took it to a whole other level. Again, she feared it might diminish the impact when they got over to the Gulf coast and the beaches and parks near Cragen's second home.

"What's the theme?" he asked, giving her a confused look.

"Mom's dream vacation," Brian deadpanned.

She gave him a little whack in the center of the chest for that crack. But he shrugged at her – because he knew he was right. Brian had heard the talk for years about the tropical getaway that she'd like to take. That he wasn't particularly interested in and they weren't sure would be much fun with kids in tow. And they weren't the kind of parents or couple who offloaded their kids on someone else so they could take an all-inclusive holiday on their own. Though, she knew they'd likely have volunteers willing to take them so they could go away for a few days. Olivia just couldn't imagine leaving them for that long. It didn't seem particularly fair. Maybe this could be some kind of test run for her to dream a little bit more about that kind of vacation becoming a reality at some point down the road.

Benji gave her another confused squint. "Paris? I thought that was like churches and art galleries and that tower thing."

She gave him a little smile and scruffed a bit at his short but still matted hair from his sleep in the car.

Benji was a bit of a mess. His cheeks were already showing some of the flushed, red butterfly creeping across them from just the residual humidity managing to press its way into the car and the short walk from where they'd temporarily parked to the lobby. It was definitely time to get some food and his medication into him – so they could seize the day.

"Bermuda, the Bahamas," she told him. "Or Cancun. Somewhere tropical."

"Isn't Florida tropical?" he asked.

"It top-ick-call," Emmy provided. "It have or-gins. They grow where it hot."

"So it's a tropical theme park hotel?" Benji asked.

"I think it's supposed to be a Caribbean theme," Olivia shrugged and looked at Brian. He just shrugged too. He likely really didn't care.

Though, he cared enough that she saw his eyes scanning the lobby and clearly setting on the Strong Water Tavern – a bar and longue that was making very clear even from where they were standing specialized in rum tasting. Rum may not be Brian's go-to, but she was pretty sure he'd make an exception.

It looked like the facility either catered to pirates or land sharks. Brian could likely pass as either. And, he'd already clearly stated that surviving this vacation – between attempting a theme park and staying at Cragen's – was going to require her to not be at him about putting back a beer or two a day.

Olivia really didn't care if he drank. As long as he didn't get himself drunk – or worse, dehydrated and suffering from sunstroke because he wasn't managing his alcohol consumption as well as he thought. But she'd deal with that if they got in that position.

She'd give him that after a winter and spring where she'd been worrying about him and the drinking – and the self-medicated numbness he was going for – he'd really cut back that summer. Another part of the family reset they'd seemed to hit the past few months.

The regrouping they were doing and seemed to be working. So she was going to give him some leeway without being the nagging wife about it. She intended to do some drinking that vacation too. Though, she thought it would more likely be sangria and fruity cocktails that she'd rarely touch at home. But, again, this was vacation.

The kids' faces both pressed against the glass as a boat came down this river-like lagoon. The landscaping of the hotel had been doing to make it look like it was almost coming right up to the pool – which looked like a lagoon in its own right – to dock.

"Is that a ride?" Benji asked with some excitement.

"It a pie-rat ship?" Emmy asked even more excitedly, casting her a look.

"Yea," Benji agreed. "Likely! There's a pirate ride, right?"

Olivia smoothed at both their messed up hair. They suddenly didn't feel nearly put-together enough to be rolling out of their car from a sixteen hour drive and setting foot in this place.

"I think it's likely just a boat ride to the rest of the rides," she told them.

"Liv," Brian called at her and gave a little point off over his shoulder toward where he'd spotted a sign for the restrooms. "Gonna take a pit stop before seeing if they'll let us into our room."

She allowed a little nod but Emmy bounded from the window and grabbed at Brian's hand.

"I goin' with Daddy," she provided firmly.

Olivia and Brian caught eyes – her silent question if they needed to do a whole family bathroom break. But he shook his head. There'd likely be a family rest room he could take her into. And if not, Brian had no qualms about standing outside the ladies' room and having an ongoing conversation with Emmy to monitor every step of her bathroom break.

Parenting had brought out new and different sides in the both of them that Olivia knew had already been there but had maybe emerged in different ways than either of them expected. Brian was a good Daddy – even for all the other faults and flaws and frustrations she had with him. That was OK. She knew he had a list of quirks and isocracies that she had that weren't his favorite qualities in her either. Just like she understood that some women might very much prefer not to have a man standing outside their restroom's door. But that between the annoyed looks Brian got, there were also a lot of ones that betrayed that when it came to Daddy-ing her kids (and her) had won out. He was involved. He was engaged. He more than pulled his weight. And he was just as good at being a Girl Dad to Emily as he was being the Boy Dad to Benji. To a point – they'd definitely ended up with a little bit of a Tom Boy. How much of that was nature versus nurture? Olivia didn't really care. Their little girl was a spitfire and a survivor and a princess in a lab coat all rolled into one. Perfect. To them. For their family.

So Olivia actually liked to think the annoyed looks out the door might have more to do with Emmy. She usually gave a much more detailed running commentary than anyone ever needed. Their little scientist. Procedures and observations about everything. It wasn't uncommon to get a report of: "That lady didn't use soap" when she came out of there.

"I've got it," he said.

So Olivia planted her hand on the top of Benji's head. He was still transfixed out the window.

"Benj, do you need a pee break too?" she asked. But he barely shook his head.

Not even in the parks yet and he was engrossed. That hopefully was a good sign that he was still young enough to enjoy this. Despite apparently being an 'adult' by pricing standards. Just a money grab there. She'd be interested to see if he was deemed too old to order off the kids' menu when they got inside this place.

"Do you?" Brian put to her.

Emmy was already impatiently pulling Brian's arm – like she was the one who really had to go. It was likely more that Emily seemed committed to checking out the bathroom of every place they ever visited. They really could start some sort of blog or communal map of every available public bathroom in Lower Manhattan, Midtown and Brooklyn and give each a review of its conveniences and cleanliness at this point in their parenthood.

Olivia gave her head a more real shake than Benji had managed with her. "I'll stay with him."

Brian just nodded and started down the hallway with Emmy. She was skipping next to him like this was going to be a real adventure. Olivia wondered how many bathrooms they'd have to check out in the actual parks. She suspected every one Emily saw a sign for.

"Mom, are those the real rides?" Benji asked, pulling her attention away from watching Bri and Emmy go.

She gazed out the window with him, following his finger as it pointed to the tops of some rollercoasters in the distance. They were sticking well above the tall palm trees lining the lagoon.

"Looks like it," she agreed.

"They're really big," he muttered.

She nodded. She heard the nervousness in his voice. "Those are likely the rollercoasters, Benj. They won't all be like that."

"Spiderman and Transformers are just normal rides, right? Not like rollercoasters?"

She allowed him a thin smile and touched at his temple. "Pretty sure they're just normal rides," she said. "And, Benji, we don't have to go on any ride you're nervous about. If you're nervous or scared or you're not feeling well, if you're hurting, you're feeling too hot and tired – we're going to need you to be really honest with us. Just like we talked about," she stressed. "Especially these next few days."

He gave the smallest nod. "I don't think I wanna do rollercoasters, Mom …"

She stroked at his hair line. "Neither do I," she smiled at him.

It got a faint smile out of him and he snuggled against her side again.

She held at him as they stared out the window. She'd give that Benji's diagnosis and the succession of medical appointments had meant she'd gotten her cuddler back. She'd struggled with the last couple years as the hugs and cuddles – Benji initiating them – had gotten fewer. But lately – at home – it was often her he'd come looking for physical affection and comfort from. It was a struggle. She appreciated having that time with her little boy. But she also just wished her hugs and cuddles and kisses could solve this boo-boo. But it never was going to. So the best she could do was to try to comfort him and support him. Be there for him as best she could.

The cuddles, though, had definitely helped her and her body become more attuned to his body again. She could see and feel how much he was hurting or his fatigue better than before. She'd become better at seeing and feeling the signs and the symptoms. Become better at recognizing them. At changing schedules and putting a stop to something before he pushed himself too far.

So right now she could tell that it wasn't just his morning meds he needed. He needed a bit more sleep. He needed that time to stretch out and lay flat like he'd commented on in the car. He'd likely benefit from getting some of the muscle compression and joint support bands pulled up onto his knees and over his calves. He hadn't slept with them on in the car. But maybe they should've insisted.

"What if Emmy wants to do the coasters?" he whispered against her.

"Well, I think she's likely not going to be tall enough for some of the rides, Benj," Olivia said. "And if there's want that she really wants to do – and you don't want to go – Daddy will ride it with her."

He looked a her a little forlornly. She knew he didn't likely like the idea that his little sister might show him up in the bravery department when it came to rides. But that was just reality. Her kids had very different personalities and very different boundaries. Benji had a lot more baggage than Emmy. Adopting a four-year-old versus a nine-month-old sees you inheriting very different baggage and damage and experiences. Benji was a lot more timid than Emmy. But they weren't going to try to break that. If there was a ride Emmy wanted to go on – and was tall enough for – they weren't going to say no. It was her trip and her experience too.

Olivia pointed back across the lobby where the guest services desk was. "Why don't we go see if they can tell us what rides those are? Maybe they have a map to the park."

Benji allowed a little nod and actually gripped her hand as they walked back across the space.

"Hi," Olivia greeted the smiling attendant at the desk. "We were wondering if you had a map of the theme park?"

"Sure," the girl agreed and moved over to a section where the counter was more at desk-level so she could unfolded a map at a level they both could see. "Can I help you find something?"

Benji leaned in to stare at the map. He was almost as fascinated with maps as he was with art and drawing anymore. And this map was definitely a bit of a comic-strip work of art. Olivia looked at it too rubbing her eyebrow a bit. The printed map made the area look a whole lot bigger than when looking at the place on the computer screen or her phone.

"We were wondering what the rides were that we're seeing out the window," she allowed with a gesture.

"Oh," the clerk said cheerily and tapped on the map. "That'd be our Hulk coaster and the Doctor Doom Fear Fall."

Benji looked up at her with concerned eyes. "Those are super heroes …"

"Yep," the clerk agreed and circled her finger around an area on the map. "They're both in our Super Hero Island area."

Olivia made a sound of acknowledgement and rubbed her eyebrow again. "I think there's a lot more in Super Hero land than those two rides, Benj …"

"Oh, yea," the clerk agreed quickly. "Spiderman, Iron Man, Storm, Guardians of the Galaxy. There's meet and greets and our parade and a show and we have a character meal. Lots to do." She gave Benji a little smile. "I think you might not be tall enough for the Hulk, though, my friend."

"That's OK," Olivia interjected. "We aren't sure we're ready for rollercoasters."

The clerk allowed another smile and gestured beside the counter where there was a measuring unit. It clearly listed the rides across the parks. "We can check you out here if you want, bud. See which rides you've got a green light for."

Olivia allowed a little nod at that and gave Benji a small nudge. This could be interesting. Benji's rough start early in life still had him playing catch up. Now with his illness and the medication and treatment, his growth had seemed rather stunted. He was always a little small for his age. But lately it felt like all the kids in his class and on his hockey and basketball teams were just sprouting up all around him while he was staying about the same height. Emmy was noticeably starting to catch up to him – especially that summer. She'd definitely had a bit of a growth spurt.

Olivia glanced back up the hallway that Brian and Emmy had gone down. They were taking a while but that was pretty standard with any Emmy bathroom trip.

"We'll want to check my daughter too," she said. "When she gets out of the bathroom."

"No problem," the clerk said as she got Benji into place. "Pretty good, bud," she declared. "It looks like you're in the clear for everything but these four, Mom." Olivia gave the measuring table an examination, noting the names of the rides. They looked like all rollercoasters, so they were likely in the clear. "Your daughter shorter or taller?"

"Shorter," Olivia allowed, still looking at the list of rides and doing some visual estimation on where Emmy would fall and the rides she might be cut-off from as well. "Younger."

The clerk placed her hand at one point. "Basically, as long as she's about 42 inches, she should be able to ride almost everything but our bigger coasters. Likely about the same as him. Most kids from about six or so can do most of the rides."

"She's six," Olivia acknowledged and gave a nod. It looked like they'd be in the clear.

"First time at Universal?" the girl asked.

Olivia allowed another nod. Benji was staring at the list of rides above his head too – likely trying to read them. Some of those words would likely just mix all up in his head. Too much acieration. But he still moved back to stare at the map. Olivia gazed at with him too.

"Did you get your Hogwart's Letter?" the girl asked friendly again and gave Olivia a smile. Her hand immediately went to the map. "So Hogsmeade Village is here. And there's Hogwart's Castle. You can go inside. One of the rides is in it. And then this is the Forbidden Forest. It's got our newest ride – but your little one might not be tall enough. And then here you can catch the Hogwarts Express over to Diagon Alley – or vice versa. And there you'll find Gringott's Bank. And, of course, there's a ride down in the vaults too."

Benji gazed up at Olivia. "That's Harry Potter stuff." She made a sound of acknowledgement and Benji looked at the girl. "Like the books?"

"And the movies," she said cheerily.

Olivia rubbed her eyebrow again. "We're still working on getting through the books - and haven't started the movies. So we don't want to ruin anything."

"Oh," the girl said somewhere between surprised and apologetic. "Well, it's not too many spoilers. It's more like it brings it all to life. But Gringott's ride is set around the Deathly Hallows. But there's not any huge spoilers. And the bank and vaults are introduced in the first movie ... book."

"We're reading the Prisoner of Azkaban," Benji provided.

"Oooooh," the girl smiled. "That's a good one."

"We're actually much more focused on getting to do the Super Hero land and the Transformer ride."

"Oh," the girl stumbled a bit, like that was entirely unexpected. Like it was completely incomprehensible to her that a family would be there without the sole intention to do the Harry Potter rides. "Well, you saw Super Hero Island," she said, breezing her hand back over to the area and then hovering back over on the other side of the map. "And Transformers is … here," she said with a tap. "In New York."

Benji scrunched his brow at her. "This is Orlando. We're from New York."

"Oh," the girl smiled. "Hi and welcome to Universal Orlando. Do you actually have your tickets to the park yet? Or can I help you out with that too?"

"Ah," Olivia allowed. "I think we're just going to buy them when we check in or at the gates." The reality was the website and price points had been overly complicated and confusing. They really weren't sure what they needed or how many days they were going to attempt or how the different gates and parks and park-to-park worked or if they really needed any of that. "We're supposed to have Express Passes?"

The girl nodded heartily. "Right. You're staying here? You get early entry to the parks and an Express Pass for the lines – both of which are awesome at this time of year. But I can help you buy your tickets and get all that synced up and connected to your key cards for you."

"Oh," Olivia allowed and gestured over at the rather lengthy line at the check-in counter. "We just arrived. We know we're here well before check-in. I suspect we're just going to get some breakfast and then see if it's a bit quieter up front."

"Yea," the girl acknowledged apologetically. "We're having some kind of technical difficulties with the in-room self checkout. So people who need to settle up their bills are unfortunately having to come up front this morning. But let me see if I can get you checked in here. Do you have your reservation code?"

Olivia made a sound of acknowledgement and dug out her phone, opening up the email and showing the girl the code. She nodded and moved back over to the higher counter top and her computer, Olivia falling along while Benji stayed put staring more at the map that had been put in front of him.

"I'm going to need to see some ID too, Olivia," the girl gave her a smile. "And a credit card."

She nodded and started to retrieve that from her purse too.

"Oh," the girl said before Olivia managed to get out the requested documents. "It says you already have tickets purchased."

Olivia shook her head, pulling out her ID and putting it on the countertop. The girl must've entered the reservation code wrong. And it randomly also was attached to someone with the same first name? "No …" she said.

The girl checked her ID. "Ah, yes," she said. "Olivia, Brian, Benjamin and Emily? Five day, 3 gate, park-to-park tickets. Staying with us for four nights in a family suite."

Olivia gave her a look and a firmer head shake. "Sounds like it's more than the self-check out that's out of whack this morning. The only thing right there are the names."

The girl made a confused noise and keyed more at the computer, casting her a glance. "Do you have the credit card you made the reservation with?"

Olivia nodded and put that up on the countertop too. The girl picked it up and looked at it and then looked at the screen.

"What's wrong, Mom?" Benji asked, drawing closer to her with the map clutched in his hand. He looked concerned – like all this had been too good to be true and was about to be ripped from him.

"Nothing, Benj. The computer system is just showing our reservation funny. She's getting it sorted out for us."

"Ah," the girl said and gave her a look, handing the credit card back. "The Brian on your party's list. It's Brian Cassidy?"

"Yes," Olivia allowed. "He's my husband …" It still felt so, so strange saying that. Part of her felt like it always would. She liked it better than 'life partner' but there was something about it that felt strange. Yet she … liked it in some way too.

"Oh, OK," the girl nodded. "I think I see what's going on. So he called and upgraded the reservation, added the tickets. So it's showing his credit card information."

Olivia gaped at bit at that and Benji stared at her. And then the girl did too.

"Oh, I mean, it could still be a mistake and we'll get it fixed for you. I mean, either way I'm going to have to see his ID. Like the credit card and ID-ID. He booked the tickets with Gov-Crosscheck? The First Responder rate we had earlier this summer? Does that make sense?"

"Ah," Olivia said, giving her head a shake. It made sense – and didn't all at the same time. That was Brian. Even she under-estimated him still sometimes. And he ended up cropping up and pulling these little things and surprises that still took her off guard more than she'd like to admit.

"Dad's a cop," Benji provided for her. "So's Mommy. She outranks him."

"Oh," the girl said cheerily again. "So it does make sense."

"Yes and no," Olivia muttered and her eyes tracked back through the lobby again. Brian and Emmy had finally appeared. She saw part of the cause of what was taking them so long. He clearly had found coffee – and something for the kids. And now Emmy had spotted the souvenir shop plied with stuffed animals and toys in the window and was transfixed outside of it.

"The reservation says you're 'celebrating'," the clerk said and gave her a wink. "Maybe he's surprising someone?"

"He's definitely doing that," Olivia allowed.

"It's our honeymoon!" Benji provided with some genuine excitement. "Mom and Dad FIN-A-LLY got married."

The girl gave her a thin smile at that. And Olivia gave her head a little shake at that explanation. "It's actually Brian's birthday on Monday."

"Ah," the clerk smiled a bit more. "Sounds like you've got lots to celebrate."

"I just finished my IVs too …" Benji whispered.

Olivia saw the girl's face change a bit at that and she drew Benji a bit closer to her. "That's definitely something to celebrate too, Little Fox," she allowed and looked at the girl again. "I had read that there's cooling stations and First Aid stations in the park. I was hoping to get their locations marked on the map."

The girl nodded and started doing something behind the desk. "Actually, when you head over to the parks you'll see a guest services building that will have a map that specifically shows that sort of thing. And, if you explain what his situation is, there's a pass your family might be qualified for to help you get through the lines a bit faster. But, honestly, with the Express Passes you're probably going be moving at about the same rate as our guests using the Assistance Pass. But it still might be useful if you need him out of the sun and heat a bit. But, since you're family's celebrating so much," she said, giving a smile to Benji," I'm actually going to upgrade you to Club Level. So you're going to be able to access lounges here at the hotel and over in the parks to get out of the sun and to get some water and snacks too."

"Thank you …," Olivia allowed.

The girl gave her a smile. "No problem," she said. "We want you to have a great visit. And," she said and slapped up some coupons on the counter. "These are for Mom and Dad's honeymoon," she said and tapped at some tickets that allowed for a free drink at one of the hotel's bar.

"Oh," Olivia allowed again with a bit more surprised. "That's great. Thank you."

The girl smiled again. "And, for Dad's birthday …" she said and slide across some more coupons. Olivia looked at them – they allowed a free dessert at any of the hotel restaurants for each of them. "And … in case you want to take Dad out for a meal over on our Citywalk …" she added, tapping at a coupon book that looked like it had about 25% off the bill at every restaurant in the entire park. "I'm going to suggest Toothsome Chocolate Emporium," she smiled at Benji and tapped on the map again.

"Dad loves chocolate but Mom says he's not suppossa eat it."

Olivia gave Benji a look. "Because Dad is lactose intolerant."

The girl made a small amused sound. "Then maybe not Toothsome. Though," she winked at Benji, "their shakes and sundaes …"

Benji gazed excitedly at Olivia.

But the girl's eyes went back to her. "There's lots of restaurants in the Citywalk area that guys really like. I mean, my boyfriend has like five favorites. Maybe the Brew Grill? If he likes sports? The Hard Rock is like the biggest in the world too. They've got some really neat memorabilia."

"I'm sure he'll be happy with any place that serves a hamburger," Olivia muttered.

"Cuz Mom has made us only eat turkey burgers alllllllllll summer," Benji said.

Olivia rolled her eyes but the girl smiled.

"Then Margaritaville," she said. "Cheeseburger in Paradise."

Brian finally appeared, handing Olivia a coffee as he did. "We doing lunch for breakfast?"

Emmy bounced up and shoved a bottled smoothie at Benji. "We gotcha the fan-ty juice, Ben-gee."

Benji enthusiastically took it, giving Brian a big smile.

"I don't know, Bri," Olivia raised an eyebrow at him. "Did you make a meal reservation you didn't tell me about too?"

He squinted at her but then allowed a thin smile, cocking his head and giving her a shrug. Whatever that meant. It likely meant there was something else he had up his sleeve for her or the kids.

She raised her eyebrow at him. "Did you upgrade us to a family suite?"

He shrugged.

She started at him. "Did you add a night to our reservation?"

And he smiled and shrugged.

She cocked her head at him. "Did you buy the park tickets?"

"That I told you," he said.

"You did not tell me that," she pressed back.

"Sure," he contended. "That union blast. The five-day tickets for the price of two."

Olivia rubbed at her eyebrow. "You mentioned the email. You didn't say anything about making the purchase."

He shrugged. "I made the purchase."

"I'm going to need to see your credit card and government ID, sir," the clerk said.

Brian nodded and started digging out his wallet. He leaned in and put a peck on her temple. "Relax," he said. "We're on vacation. Happy … honeymoon vacation ... whatever."

The clerk started handing plastic key card tickets to the kids, hanging from colorful langyards. They excited gazed at the pictures on them with their imprinted names.

"Spiderman and Transformers and Shrek, oh my ...," she smiled at them.

Oh my was about right ...


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

"Hey," Olivia called at Brian gently, causing him to finally moved his fixed gaze on the kids over to her. "You OK?"

He made a small sound and let his eyes drift back to the kids before he took a slow gulp from his beer.

He'd been staring at Benji and Emmy for the better part of ten minutes. The kids were completely oblivious to it. While Mom and Dad had found some loungers in the sand under the shade of an umbrella to enjoy a drink and a break in, the kids had charged into the fenced off area full of beach and pool side games.

Benji and Emmy had tried to cajole them into playing some table tennis with them but after several floats along the lazy river and waiting for them to pop out the bottom of the water slide, Olivia was pretty sure both her and Brian had been ready to act their age – and like they were on vacation too. They'd told the kids after they had a drink. But with ordering their beverages and taking their time drinking them, it'd given them an extended break. It'd left the kids to their own devices but they'd seemed happy to try out the corn hole and ladder ball and fool around with the hula hoops on their own. At the moment they were engrossed in an over-sized Connect Four board.

Though, Olivia wouldn't say they were exactly playing. Emmy seemed far more committed to make towers out of the chips and then trying to pile sand around them to make overly stable sand castles. Benji the engineer of the two of them had determined that grabbing some of the sand pails and trekking back and forth to the lapping zero-entry pool to get buckets of water was a better way to compact the sand for this project. So they were more than occupied in their puttering away.

They'd only had to interject once and draw the line at them packing the sand into the chips that were already in the playing board. That was just going to make too big of a mess for some poor landscaper to clean up. Though, Olivia was fairly certain they'd likely just pressure wash the whole area when the day was done. Not that that would help any family that actually did want to play Connect Four before then. Though, it wasn't exactly like the sand was turning to concrete. In the heat and sun it was drying and peedling away pretty quickly – which was just resulting in more and more of the back-and-forth to the pool to get more water. Likely a sneak peek of what their time at Cragen and Eileen's beach was going to look like too.

Brian scrubbed at his face a bit and looked back at her. "Yea, just having one of those moments. You know?" he provided her.

"Mmm …," she allowed. She did know.

But he shook his head a bit and brought his beer back up to his lips. "Fuck," he muttered. "Tell that guy UC for fucking years in Ganzel's fucking brothel that he'd be at fucking Disney World with two kids and a wife …?" he shook his head again.

"Living the dream …," Olivia teased, with a little tilt of the head.

"Yea, well, close enough," Brian muttered.

"You're right," she provided. "We didn't quite make it to Disney World. That's a few miles down the road."

He grinned around the mouth of his beer at that and gave her a look. That he'd like that one. But as he finished his gulp he gazed at her. His hand came out and he hooked his pinkie around hers.

She raised an eyebrow. "What?" she mouthed silently.

He made another little noise and shook his head a bit like he wasn't going to say anything. But then he looked at her more – all of her. Or as much as she had exposed in that moment. She'd pulled on a cover-up since they'd come and sat down.

"I haven't wanted to say anything. I didn't want you to take it … however. But," he gave her another look, "I mean I see what you've done this summer."

She rolled her eyes a bit at that and gave her head its own shake.

"See," he muttered. "You're taking it … however."

She found his eyes. "Brian, we're in at pool almost every week of the year. We've been at the beach … what … five, six times this summer?"

He wasn't seeing anything new. And certainly no big, staggering change from the seven or so days ago since the last time he saw her in a bathing suit. Though, admittedly, she'd brought a suit on the trip that wasn't one she wore to the family swim time at the Y. And she had actually had enough changes in her body and weight and health and self-image over the past several months that she'd more than comfortable and confident to get an age-appropriate bathing suit - tankini - for the beach time and pool time (as family time) that she expected to have on this trip. And as much as she hated swim suit shopping - getting to make that purchase and to be happy with it - had also been a bit of a nice moment after she'd had a year or two where she'd more than felt like being a mom, being a boss, being middle-aged and menopause had caught up with her and her body. But all that was besides the point.

"Yea," he nodded at her. "And, like I said, I've seen what you've done. And right now, in the Florida sunlight – maybe it's looking even better than through the haze of New York life."

She shook her head again. "OK. Thank you …" She said it with clear sarcasm.

"It was a compliment, Liv," he pressed at her. "And I'm serious – you look good. Not that you usually don't. I mean it in a ..." he sighed and drew his beer back to his mouth. "I'm shutting my mouth."

She smiled softly at that and stared at him until he gave her a glance. "I can see what you've done these past few months too, Bri," she allowed. "The weight loss – you look healthier. Stronger, happier."

He made a little noise. "Thank you," he said – with much less tone than she'd given him. But then he quipped, "I know how attractive this UV shirt is."

She smiled at that.

It wasn't a fashion statement. It was because he whined more than the kids if he got the least bit burnt. And Brian BURNT. And then it was gross. After the whining about the burning (that he usually brought upon himself) ended, he'd pick at the peeling skin. Even more disgusting was that Emmy and Benji would help him with it. She had to remove herself from the situation when that happened. It was just gag worthy.

And it happened too often, because Brian was ridiculously picky about sunblock – because it was 'sticky' and felt 'caked' as it dried (though he claimed it didn't absorb into his skin properly, which made him hate it even more). But 'sticky' and 'caked' really just meant it made Brian get all twitchy and triggery. Even the spray on kind and the stick kind he was finicky about. So instead he definitely had a middle-aged dad look on their weekend beach outings. Long trunks, UV shirt, one of his too many to count pairs of gaudy sunglasses (because if she thought Brian had more tshirts than any man could - or should - own, he almost out did that record with sunglasses. They were about as close as he got to a fashion statement.). And then a hat that she was sure he only wore because it'd been labelled as something the kids had picked out for him for Father's Day. It was a straw fedora. Olivia thought he pulled it off really well. She actually REALLY liked it on him but Brian despised it. He called it 'the literal asshat' (when the kids weren't around). But the kids had constantly asked him why he wasn't wearing it pretty much the entire summer - every time they went out and he didn't have it on or he opted for one of his battered caps instead. And that was fine. Let the kids ask, because if it was her asking that she'd get dirty looks. The kids – she still got the dirty looks – but he actually put it on.

At least the whole Summer Beach Attitred Dad look covered up his latest tattoo. As if the longhorn skull on his bicep (and hanging on their wall - though decidedly much better hidden than when he'd initially moved in but not completely disposed of because the kids adored it as much as Olivia hated it) wasn't enough, Brian his winter fallout and efforts at coping and moving on had apparently decided that going and getting New York City inked into his forearm seemed like a fantastic idea. It'd taken a lot for her to not provide a commentary on it - more than she had. She'd left it at now he'd have to be careful about always having his sleeves down at work - especially in an interrogation room (which she thought would be hard for him - because Brian ALWAYS had ... and had for the twenty-plus years she'd known him - rolled up his sleeves when he had someone in the box) and then reminded him that choices he made about his life and his body were the measure their SON and their DAUGHTER used to define their definition of who, what, and how a man was supposed to be. She wasn't exactly thrilled about the concept of either of their children deciding to get themselves tattooed or to adopt it as some sort of coping mechanism or statement in dealing with their trauma.

But that had been about as far as their (too heated) discussion around him coming home with that one day that spring had gone. She'd since just accepted it'd been something that he needed to do to help him center himself and his life and his experience of growing up in the city - and his place within in. It was done. There was nothing more she could do about it. It was his body. And harping on him about it wasn't going to do anything to make things better or easier in Brian's coping or their relationship. So she'd left it.

Really she'd left it to Janet - who as his mother somehow got to say things to him in a much blunter and harsher way than she ever could with a very different kind of fall out. And Janet had covered off a lot of bases that Olivia would've liked to say on the matter - and Brian got to be pissed off at her rather than Olivia. And she'd lucked out on also benefiting from the 'break' he took from his mother for a couple weeks and pretend like she wasn't taking sides or shared an opinion one way or another. Brian already knew what her opinion was at that point. But apparently she'd pissed him off way less than his mother had in her expression of it. But Janet still wasn't privy to the entire story and picture of what was going on. She might've bit her tongue some too if she had been.

"It does show off the work you put in," she allowed him of the shirt, though. Work on a lot of different levels.

And it did. As much as he was in Dad beach attire, Brian did have less Dad Bod going on lately. Less bloat even if not exactly abs. At least you could tell where they were supposed to be. And she'd noticed. In that swim shirt. In the bedroom. Just like she was sure he'd noticed too. She knew she'd lost some weight. She'd gained some muscle - just like him (another thing that happens when you've got a sick 10-year-old who starts to have moments where he's tired and weak and nauseated enough that he just wants or needs Mom or Dad to carry him. It was quite the upper body and strength training workout - that often involved flights of stairs in the house.). She could see it in the mirror and feel it in how her clothes were fitting. In a way she was glad he'd noticed. Not that she'd done it for him. But it was still … nice to get some validation that he still … looked at her that way. Even now.

"The Benji Diet," he provided.

"Mmm …," she allowed and took a sip of her own drink.

That had definitely been part of it. Learning to manage some of Benji's symptoms and flares through diet had more than a little changed the way they ate as a family. It'd been a learning curve. They still had blips. But for as healthy as Olivia felt their family did eat - they were at another level now. She supposed it was very Brooklyn of them. Especially the area they lived in. But that hadn't made getting the kids on board - and keeping themselves on track when they weren't at home setting the example - any easier. But they'd done it. And you could undisputedly see the ripple affect it hadn't just had in helping Benji get on track with his medication and treatment regime in managing his disease. It'd impacted her and Brian's health too. For the positive.

"I think that's only part of it. I think slowing down a bit has helped a lot."

"That's good," Brian said. "Because, pretty sure the Big Man Diet is going to get blown this trip. Gluten-free beer sucks," he added with another gulp at the bottle.

She allowed a thin smile at that. "We're going to have to watch it, though, Bri. I don't want to risk too much deviation stirring up inflammation and a flare in him …"

He nodded. "Yea, me either." His eyes set on the kids again. Olivia knew what he was thinking. It was hot. They didn't want a flare up on the first day of their trip. "Thinking we need to get him out of the sun soon?"

Olivia allowed a small shrug. "Likely. Or at least take them back into the water or over to the splash pad to cool him down."

Brian made a sound of acknowledgement and glanced at his watch. "Wish they'd fucking hurry up with our room."

She shrugged. "Guess that's what happens when you show up at 8 a.m. in the morning during their busiest season."

Unsurprisingly, a room hadn't been ready for them. A little more surprisingly even though they'd plopped down cash for early check-in – being guaranteed their suite would get cleaned first and opened up to them ASAP – they were still waiting hours later. She was pretty sure one of them would be going up and complaining soon. It was getting to the point Olivia felt they should likely be refunded the fee – because it wasn't really going to be much of an early check-in at this point.

"Supposed be shoulder season here," he muttered.

She found his hand next to hers and gave it a bit of a squeeze. "If you need to close your eyes for a bit, Bri – go ahead."

"I'm OK," he muttered.

She wasn't sure she believed him. As good as Brian was at operating on little to no sleep - she could feel him fading a bit. Fading physically was one thing. But when his phyiscal fading lead to his patience fading they had a problem.

"What you thinking for the rest of the day? Just crash out in the room when we finally get it?" he asked. So maybe he did recognize he needed some downtime - out of the sun - too.

She allowed a little shrug. She was pretty sure that at the very least they all could use a nap – or some quiet down time – in the air conditioned room for an hour or two.

"What were you thinking?" she asked. "You got the five-day tickets?"

He scrubbed at his face. "Yea, but they're the same price as the two day we were going to get. So might as well, right? Figured maybe we'll want to loop this way on the way home and spend an afternoon over at the water park. Or if shit blows up in our faces and need to try again or split things up a bit. Gives us more leeway."

She nodded. It was a reasonable thought. Maybe. It'd depend on how exhausting these couple days were and how the kids behaved and where they were at by the end of their holiday.

"Did you want to go over and do something tonight with that leeway?"

He made a noise at that. "I don't know. Seems like maybe we should tackle that as a fresh start." He gestured off across the courtyard. "They've got a fire pit. They're selling S'more kits in the store. Kids would like that."

She smiled and nodded. "They would," she agreed. And so would Brian. She knew one of the things he missed about the cabin was camp fires on the lake. She'd hoped they'd get a few in at Cragen's too – either on the beach or in their back lot that also apparently had a fire pit. "One of the pools is supposed to be showing a Float to the Movies too," she allowed.

"That'd put in the night …" he agreed.

"But if you want to go scope out the park or this CityWalk area – go to their Guest Services and ask a few questions, that's fine," she said. "It will put in the afternoon."

He shrugged. "Maybe after we get our room."

She nodded. Olivia suspected Brian could use some down time more than he was letting on. She'd definitely like him to get a full night's sleep - as close as Brian ever managed with that - before they tackled much in the parks. She had more been thinking of grabbing a late lunch or early dinner there and maybe seeing a show or two or the parade or the fireworks. Though, she likely didn't want to stay there that late either on their first night and a night of the kids sleeping in the car. That wasn't a great sleep either for them even though they seemed to be doing fine so far. She still was concerned how they'd all sleep at a hotel - and then in Cragen's house. None of them adjusted to new sleeping arrangements very well. And despite Cragen's place having multiple bedrooms at their disposal - and Brian having upgraded to a family suite that included a separate bedroom for the kids - she was still very sure that a lot of nights both kids would end up in bed with them. They might not have travelled much but that definitely seemed to be a theme of their trips. They might have well get a king bed rather than two doubles and a cot - because Benji and Emmy were inevitably just going to end up kicking them all night anyway.

Her phone buzzed. Brian looked at her expectantly. He clearly was hoping it was the notification that their room was ready. But she shook her head as she checked it.

"It's Jack," she said. "I let him know we got here."

Brian made another sound and took another tug at the beer he apparently wasn't enjoying but had paid enough for he was still drinking. "He at our place?"

She shrugged and started keying in a response. "It's noon on a Saturday. I'm assuming he's likely at the skatepark or with Renee."

"As long as he's not just waking up with Renee at our place," Brian muttered.

And Olivia just shook her head. She really didn't think Jack or Renee were that comfortable or blatant in their relationship (or their own sexuality and individual baggage around sex) that they'd likely be doing that at their place. If her and Brian were well into middle age and assuming their sex life and any romance or public displays of affection were going to be put on hold at Cragen and Eileen's - she really wanted to believe that Jack and Renee were even more self-conscious and awkward in that even in privacy when it came to inhabiting her and Brian's house and any activities they might get up to their - in the air conditioning. It'd be too much of Russian Roulette with them too. Jack would know Janet could - and most definitely would - be popping in unannounced at any time and would almost certainly rat him out if he had company in the house or was suspected of doing anything much beyond watching TV. So Olivia was going to assume that if the two of them actually got brave enough to get up to anything - it'd be in the living room and all evidence well cleaned up, disposed off and aired out by the time they got home. And that Renee seemed to be a whole lot tidier than Jack - so that maybe if he did have her over at their place, they might arrive home to it not looking lived in and its cupboards and fridge not being left entirely bare. Olivia was pretty sure Renee would be mortified about leaving the place without any kind of food and a mess. Though, Janet would likely be at Jack either way to have the place sparkling (or entirely take it on herself as an excuse to nose around their entire house like having it clean was some sort of homecoming gift). And really that's about as far as Olivia was willing to think on any of it.

So she shrugged again. "Change the locks, switch the wifi password, cancel the cable, get rid of the PlayStation and downgrade to a smaller TV, Bri," she said.

"Yea, that'd be starting World War Three," he mumbled and took another drink.

"Then just be happy someone's bringing in the mail," she said.

She could feel him roll his eyes but he'd moved to watching the kids again. Emmy was hanging over the fence.

"Daddy, can we go play water cannon pie-rats?" she asked.

Brian held up his bottle at her. "Duckie. What's that?"

"Beer," Emmy stated confidently.

He tilted it for her to see the fluid still sloshing inside. "What's in there?"

"Beer," she said again, giving him that same squint as her brother. Nature. Nurture. Raising adopted kids was fascinating sometimes. So much of ... each other ... her, Brian, Jack, ... even Cragen and Eileen and Janet and John and Alex ... these little bits and pieces of the family they'd made showing up in Benji and Emily. They're own people but so much them and so much family. They all just rubbed off on each other.

"So we going over to the splash pad again yet?" Brian nodded at her. The rule - if Daddy was drinking beer outside, he wasn't playing until he was done. Brian didn't play one-handed. Or do much of anything half-assed.

Emmy huffed and stomped her foot a bit in the sand. "Daddy ….," she sighed disgruntedly at him.

Benji came over and leaned over the top of the fence too, his arms dangling. "Can we go on the river tubes again?" he asked instead and then pointed off in the distance at the Volcano over in the water park that Olivia didn't think the kids quite clued into it being seperate from the hotel - the whole place and experience seemed to just be blending together for them so far. "Or can we go see the Volcano? I think it's gonna erupt. Look! It's smoking'!"

Olivia glanced over her shoulder and took it in. It definitely was. And it was an impressive structure - towering above them. But she wasn't sure she wanted to attempt a water park with the kids at all - let alone just yet that afternoon. Though, she was pretty sure she could be convinced to float around the lazy river in an inner tube again. So she gestured at them to come out of the contained play pen they were in.

"Let's reapply some sunscreen and drink some water – then maybe we can get back in the water," she said.

Brian looked at her as the kids dashed to get around to them. "I'm thinking we likely could've gotten away with not buying the theme park tickets."

She gave him a smile at that, as she rearranged herself in the chair to retrieve the sunscreen to gloop on her children – because Brian also bwaked at having to get his hands 'sticky' to do that.

"Wait until tomorrow," she said.

Because she was pretty sure as soon as the kids met Spiderman – it'd be an afternoon in the pool that they'd have trouble luring them towards. She wasn't sure they'd lure them out of Super Hero Island at all. Too bad they couldn't just have bought tickets specifically for that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

Cassidy stared over at Big Man. The kid looked so nervous standing there in line – huddled right up against his Ma as they waited for the kiddos big chance to meet Spiderman. It was sort of funny. Ben was more than old enough to get that this was just some smutch in a costume but he still sure was acting like he was about to meet someone real important. Doing the permanent shy act that the kid had ingrained into him when it came to meeting new people – especially adults, and even more especially adult males. Cassidy was pretty sure it'd always be that way for the kid on some level. Because it really wasn't levelling out for Ben with age. And trauma like that – it stayed with you. Spoke from experience there.

Em was a whole different story, though. She was definitely smart enough to know this wasn't Spiderman – even if she was still little enough that it might as well have been. But that had pretty much been the plan – the purpose – of doing this outing now. While the kiddos were still little enough. That they'd be excited enough. In awe enough. And Ducky had definitely been that – all fucking morning.

Em had been working at dislocating his shoulder with how much she'd been excitedly tugging at his arm. He'd had to go all Dad on her a couple times when she'd decided to drop his hand and take off at about sixty miles an hour. Emily and charging right on ahead was pretty much her M.O. in life. They were likely going to have all kinds of fun with that as her got older. A strong-willed child. That's what his Ma said about the little girl. 'Don't break a strong-willed child,' his Ma said. 'They're the ones that change the world.' Wasn't so sure about that. But Em had at least changed his world.

Case and point – it'd changed him enough that he was subjecting himself to Disney World. Liv kept pointing out that it wasn't Disney and Mickey Land they were in. He just kept pointing out right back at her that Disney owned most of the franchises they were wandering through at this place. Universal slapped all over everything was just branding. Marvel – that was Disney these days.

Not that the Kiddos gave a shit about the corporate monopoly and commercialism of it all. They didn't care about any of the branding around it. All they saw as MARVEL. He wasn't even sure how much they saw or registered that. They just saw the super hero characters they'd bought into as a family. You'd think him and Liv would've gone darker with Batman and the like. But nope – their kids, their personalities – they were full-on a Marvel family. Need to pick your team. Just like Rangers of Islanders. Knicks or Nets. Know your side.

The kids' eyes had pretty much been saucers all morning. That fucking boat ride from the hotel up to the park gates? You couldn't have asked for much more of a grand reveal than that. Just WHAM! Planted right into a completely different universe so far outside of their norm. A jolt to the system no matter how much larger-than-life, splashy, over-the-top and commercial it all was.

Cassidy thought sometimes with raising New York City kids they got a little spoiled. And just desensitized to some shit. Good shit and bad shit. In good ways and bad ways.

Not that he'd gotten to a whole lot of places in his life to use as a point of comparison – but Cassidy was still pretty sure they lived in one of the best cities in the world. Their kids got to see larger-than-life and over-the-top on a pretty regular basis. They were spoiled with some world class parks and museums and just recreation – and life – opportunities. Experiences.

Him and Liv tried real hard to make sure they had the opportunity to … fucking have a New York City childhood. They got out. They did shit. They signed the kids up for shit. Making sure these kids grew up with opportunities and experiences and skills and memories. But tried to keep them grounded too. And not to overwhelm them. They did a lot of the outdoor shit and free shit too. Parks, beaches, playgrounds. Getting out to some of the nearby state parks to have some sort of commune with nature that wasn't all just big city lights, smells and concrete.

Bri knew that despite all the opportunities they gave Ben and Em – they also sheltered them a bit. Because the kids needed it. Both of them in their own ways. And him and Liv needed it too. Again, in their own ways. But they also just didn't want to spoil them. So they tried to keep things low-key despite, you know, engaging with the kids and engaging as parents and just taking advantage of where they lived.

But the look on those Kiddos faces when the boat was pulling up to the dock? It was fucking priceless. Like maybe they'd sheltered them too much. Or maybe they hadn't spoiled them quite as much as they thought. Because Ben and Em were both just slack-jawed awe.

That dazed, saucer look in their eyes only got bigger and bigger as they got up and through the turnstiles. And when they'd gotten over to they gateway into Super Hero Island? When it looked like they were about ready jump right into the pages of a comic book? Step right into Marvel's metropolis version of NYC?

Yea. That had been one of the points that Em had full-out dropped his hand and made a break for it in all her excitement. It was OK. He'd caught up. She'd found a place-marker – an engraved sewer plate, declaring their location at Marvel Super Hero Island – that she was hopping on.

Lead to a photo-op after he had to do a little Daddy Tell-off. Felt like a bit of a broken record: "Emily – today – your hand, it's always in mine or Mommy's? Understand? You bolt again. We're going back to the hotel." Yea. Fucking veil threat there with how many times he'd had to say it and it hadn't happened. She was just like a fucking pinball in a giant pinball machine at that point. So much to see and do and spot. And Em was just spotting everything. She was probably spotting shit they never would've noticed if she wasn't with them. Seeing the whole place through a little kid's eyes. But that had kinda been the point.

There wasn't a price you could attach to that. He'd been realizing that throughout the morning.

There'd been a big part of him that really didn't want to do this whole theme park thing. That just didn't want to leave the city. Didn't want two weeks away from the job and his life, routine and scheulde. Didn't want to have a 'vacation' that included spending a gross amount of time under Cragen's roof – when him and his long-term girlfriend, Hail Mary golden years partner were going to be there for a good chunk of it.

A big stalling point had been the cost, though. And just the fucking tackiness of a theme park. It really hadn't been his thing. Or his idea of something worth spending any kind of cash on. Especially the kind of cash that this shit did cash in at. It was pretty fucking ridiculous.

But Liv had been pretty set on it. For years. She'd been saying since leading in to around Em's fourth birthday that she wanted to do it for the kids. Wanted to take the kids. That Big Man had been four when she'd taken him for their little day outing years ago. And, reality – Brian had a lot of regrets that he hadn't been established enough in Liv and Ben's lives at that point that he'd gotten to tag along and be part of it. Maybe because of that there'd been some self-sabotage in getting his back up about doing this now – even though Liv had insisted that her experience was that the price of it had been worth it.

Cassidy wasn't really sure he'd entirely believed her. But – fuck – like five-ish hours in and he could see what she was saying. To start – even glancing at his watch realizing they'd been there since 8 a.m. and that it was already pushing lunchtime? It hadn't felt like they'd been there that long. Just like their kiddos excitement the night before – getting them to sleep, getting them up and out of bed and dressed and fed and on the boat to take advantage of their early entrance time and low crowd hours hadn't felt like it either.

This was all about watching his kids faces. Watching their reactions. It was about family time. Just full-on family time – checked out of their regular routine and so far outside their usual every day world.

It had been worth the hundreds upon hundreds of dollars that had gotten forked out to do this. And there was – for him, for the way he was raised, for the kind of child he had and hadn't had – something undeniably nice about being able to do this for his kids. As a man. As a father. He knew it wasn't just him 'doing it'. That it wasn't just his cash that was paying for it. He knew that Liv could've more than afforded to do this on her own. That if he hadn't been part of the equation that she might've already done it for the kids. Might've fucking done it before Ben went and got fucking classified as an 'adult' by the fucking money-grabbers. But it still felt good.

This was something so fucking far out of the realm of what his mom would've been able to do for him as a kid. And as fucking cliché this was as a family vacation – or some kind of right of passage in childhood anymore – it still … was nice to know he was in a position he was able to do this for his family. That he had a job where he could book this kind of time off. That he had established himself in a gig that he could afford this for his family. That his kids were going to have these kinds of memories. That he was going to have these kinds of memories with his kids too.

It was selfish in a way. He wanted the memories. He wanted the kids to look back on happy childhood memories. Want them to have happy memories of him too. Think fondly of the guy that raised them. Didn't ever just want to be the pay check or the disciplinarian. That's not who or what he wanted to be in his kids' memories of their childhood.

Brian thought he was getting there. Maybe more than getting there. He'd had some more than real conversations that summer. Not just with Liv. With his Mom. With Jack.

In the aftermath of him and Liv getting all official, his Mom had told him that him being a dad to the Kiddos was the thing he'd done with his life that she was proudest of. That she knew he hadn't had an example growing up – not of a father, not of a husband – and she was real proud of him for making it work with Liv and with the kids. She'd even – finally vocally – acknowledged that him and Liv had a rough hand they'd been working through. The trauma that Ben and Jack came with – and would always be a part of those kids. An unexpected, anxiety-inducing pregnancy in Liv's later-40s and then the trauma and fall-out of the miscarriage. The trauma of William Lewis and what that had done to their relationship. The mess of bringing Emmy into the family. Dealing with Ben's health now. Before that talk with his Mom – the proud talk – the most she'd said about any of that was 'Brian, do not treat this relationship like any of those other ones. You will regret it if you do.' Loud and clear – the message he'd heard for years – was "You're a screw up and you're going to screw this up". It'd been the first time his Mom had really told him he hadn't. He wasn't.

Jack too. They'd had some real moments that summer. Big ones and little ones. Hard talks but real talks. For both of them. But the statement out of all of it that had stuck the most with Cassidy had been the Kid saying to him: "I didn't have a mom. I always wanted a mom. That's what I thought was what I wanted for Jamin. I thought that was like the most important thing. But I think about the kind of relationship I had with my Pops. I, you know, see what kind of relationship you've got with Jamin. I get it. He needs that – deserves it. You're a good dad to him. I appreciate that. Respect it."

It was about the nicest thing Jack had ever said to him. It was among just a handful of times that Jack had vocally acknowledged him as being Ben's dad too. It counted for a lot. A whole lot. And Brian knew the kind of pedestal that Jack had his own pops up on. So getting told that he was living up to that pedestal in Big Man's life – that the kid's uncle was seeing and respecting and appreciating that – it counted for a whole fucking lot.

It really did. Because Brian still had these moments where he wasn't sure he knew how to be a father. Or a dad. That he had this whole fantasy version of it from when he was growing up – just like Liv did. What a dad and a father where. Not that you really make the distinction between the two when you're a little kid. But, fuck, did they both ever now. He'd had other delusions about what it meant in his twenties. These expectations about marriage and wives and kids. About family and relationship. And then he just put all that shit aside – forgot about it, or gave up on it – for his thirties.

It was like as much as he'd known from near the get that he wanted this with Liv – all this – he still didn't think he knew what it meant. He hadn't had a clue what he was getting himself into. Not a fucking clue. Sometimes he was amazed that that guy he was had stuck it out. Because sometimes he thought back on that person – and Liv too, who and what and the way she was – and he was a little surprised they'd made it.

Kids. Fatherhood. Family life. A relationship with Liv. Marriage. It wasn't some fantasy. It was a lot of hard work. And monotony. He actually didn't think him or Liv were really ready for the 'official-ness' of it that they'd committed to that summer until now. Both of them staring down fifty.

Brian actually thought in a lot of ways it was Ben's illness that had kind of brought some health to their relationship. It'd really forced them to get over some of their insecurities and reluctances. It'd made them be better parents in different ways. And better partners to each other too – in new and improved ways.

And that fucking piece of paper they'd gone down to City Hall and signed? Those couple rings he'd gotten on her finger? The one he'd gotten to put on his own?

He'd told her he thought he'd change everything and nothing – and he'd been right. It was different. Everything just felt different in a way he didn't know how to vocalize – even though him and Liv had talked a bit about it. It was like … this other person had just fully committed to putting up with you for the rest of their lives. And, he really wanted to believe with him and Liv – waiting until this age, knowing each other this long – it was going to be that. They didn't have an escape route. They were all in at this point. Quirks and frustrations and all. The trauma and baggage and deep fucking scars. Because they already were more than familiar with the good and bad and ugly of each other. They already had their list of things they loved and absolutely hated about each other. They'd already navigated some of the worst and most traumatizing things in their lives together – shit that a lot of other couples could hardly even imagine. Shit that most people just didn't have to navigate. But they had. They hadn't come out of it unscathed – but they'd gotten through it. And they'd committed.

That was it. He didn't feel like he was going to get kicked to the curb as much anymore. And it'd become abundantly clear that Liv's fear of abandonment had still been alive and well – but she'd sensed the shift and change too. The whole – no one is going anywhere thing. They loved the other enough – they weren't. There was a stability to it. It'd seeped over into the kids too. Especially Benji.

Holy fuck had that kid been excited they were getting married. He still was.

Cassidy didn't think him or Liv had fully realized just how much Ben needed the official seal on their relationship too to relieve some of his anxieties and abandonment issues too. That sense of stability had just washed over Big Man that summer too. They could see it in his attitude and his behavior.

Big Man was such a challenge these days. It was like ten – pushing eleven – was this own anxiety inducing age for Brian. Seriously – it kept him up at nights sometimes no matter how much he tried not to project.

It was hard.

Ben was still a little kid but he was getting to that age that he was going to have to teach him how to be a man. Show him what he meant to be a man. Groom him into the kind of man that him and Liv – their family – wanted him to be.

It got back to Cassidy questioning the kind of man he was. The kind of childhood – boyhood – he wanted Ben to have. Wanting to let him be a little kid for as long as possible but helping him along as he grew up. Wanting to protect him so bad from all the ills in the world while helping him push his boundaries and grow too. It was hard with a kid who came with a lot of trauma and behavior and emotional problems combined with learning challenges and now fucking chronic illness.

Brian didn't know if he was equipped to deal with that. He didn't know how to parent that. How to be a father to that.

Him and Liv talked a lot about breaking the cycle of violence. About some of their fears about what they'd come up with. Alcoholism, domestic violence, sexual assault, trauma, abandonment. Liv had her own fears about the kind of parent and mom she was too. About nature and nurture. About the unknowns and knowns in their kids' genetics and backgrounds. About what him and her had in their own and what that meant for them as people and parents. It was like this constant self-checking process to make sure they were being the people they needed to be and the parents they needed to be and setting the examples they wanted to set. It was fucking hard.

Sometimes it felt like they were too strict. Or too insular. Or they were both just fucking too traumatized in their own way. It made Brian wonder what kind of people these two little people would grow into being raised by them. What they'd remember about them and their childhood.

And maybe that's why a day like this felt important too. It felt needed and necessary and worth it.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**Will be a continuation from Brian's POV. May be posted in less than the 24 hour mark, so check back. It will be more drivel than substance — i.e. dialogue-heavy and the randomness of their morning in Super Hero Island.**

**Reviews and comments are motivating and appreciated. Last chapter didn't get any. And this story has only gotten like 7. Which, combined with the very low readership numbers, makes me think this isn't worth continuing for many more chapters. So it might just be one or two more.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

*****CHAPTER PRIOR TO THIS — CHAPTER 5 — WAS POSTED EARLIER TODAY. PLEASE GO BACK AND READ IT IF YOU MISSED IT.******

Cassidy had gotten out of the shower that morning to find that Liv had dug a fucking Avengers tshirt out of his suitcase and laid it out for him. He had a fucking embarrassing collection of Marvel tshirts – and Transformers and Ninja Turtles and Ghostbusters – at that point in his life.

Maybe that was another sign of Daddy-hood?

Seriously. For all the shit Liv gave him about the number of T-shirts he owned – that he'd brought into their closet space when she'd finally let him move in? He definitely hadn't owned any of this shit when he'd finally been allowed to be a more real part of her and the kids' lives. And now it was her who didn't seem to have any qualms in plopping down the cash at whatever occasion the kids felt like they had to have a gift for him to open. And it seemed like every one of those times involved him getting another T-shirt for his apparent collection. And the stuff his kids picked out for him was never anything that he would've picked for himself as a grown-ass man in his 40s. Yet, now with a fucking six-year-old and ten-year-old apparently it was socially acceptable to wear this shit again. Dress like a kid.

Generally, he usually reserved the cartoon shirts for days he wasn't going to be out in public. Lounge at home days. Or if he was going out – something his jacket or a hoodie would be getting pulled over. Because he still felt it involved a certain level of ass-hat to be wearing that shit full-on in public at his age.

He also wasn't big on Liv laying out his clothes. He could count on his one hand the number of times she'd done it. Mostly because the message behind her doing that was abundantly clear – grown-ass man, in his 40s, working as a detective most of his adult life, now a fucking supervising Detective Investigator, a fucking C.O. and her still treating him like he didn't know how to dress himself? Or she had some kind of issues with how he dressed? And, hence who he was? How he was?

Yea. It'd caused some fights. Enough fights that it really was only the kids he got clothes from at occasions – these fucking t-shirts. Because the shit Liv picked always came across as some commentary too. Even if it was nice, he wouldn't say it was ever his style. It either came off as how divergent they were as people or her trying to dress him like the kind of ass-hat she usually engaged with in relationships. They'd pretty much mutually agreed that she wasn't going to buy clothes for him anymore. Not that she didn't – she just let the kids 'pick' it instead.

So he'd given her a bit of a look when he'd seen the shirt sitting there on the bed. He'd already been wearing the fucking Father's Day ass-hat the 'kids' had 'given' him. He wasn't about to go full-on ass-hat wearing a fucking cartoon shirt out in public.

But she'd given him the look right back. And she'd crossed her arms – drawing his attention to the fact she was wearing her Captain Marvel tshirt. He'd gotten back at her for all the ass-hat tshirts that Mother's Day – guiding the Kiddos to 'pick' a cartoon tshirt for her too. And finally getting her out of the fucking Wonder Woman attire she favored. Liv might be Wonder Woman – as a mom and cop and all-round person – but she definitely wasn't getting that Wonder Woman wasn't part of the Marvel universal. And they were a Marvel family. They'd picked their team.

But as much as Cassidy didn't mind getting an excuse to let his eyes set on Liv's rack – and that T-shirt even though it'd been a bit of a gag, fit around all her curves in the absolute right way – seeing her in it that day did nothing for him and the desire to put on the fucking Avengers shirt. They definitely weren't that family. All matchy-matchy.

"You're going to kick yourself later if you don't put it on," she'd put to him. Simply. Flatly.

He'd had a split second where he was going to push back against it. Argue some with her. But he'd stopped himself. He didn't like fighting with her. He never had. And reality was that most arguments he had with Liv were kind of losing battles.

Liv didn't pull punches with him when it came to verbal sparings. She was better at it than him. Or crueller. He knew sometimes she ended up saying shit she regretted. More reason not to get into fights – about the little stuff, the stupid shit – because they both just ended up hurting. Feeling guilt and regret. It wasn't worth it. Especially not for something as stupid as a fucking Avengers tshirt. Especially one that said even cheesier shit like: Daddy, you're as Incredible as Hulk, as Amazing as Spiderman, as Mighty as Thor, as Smart as Iron Man, as Marvelous as Captain America.

Like, fucking seriously, Liv? You want me to wear that shit in public? That's a making Sunday morning pancakes in my briefs Tshirt. Not a fucking out in public shirt. And out of all the fucking comic book characters and super hero shirts you and the kids have bought for me? This is the one you want me to put on?

OK. Fine. She won. Because there were the kids bounding out of their little room. All decked out in their Spiderman gear. Matchy-matchy. So they were going to be that family.

"I'm wearing my Knicks cap," he'd told her just as flatly as she'd one-offed him on the shirt. Fuck. If he was going to look like an ass-hat – least wasn't going to wear the actual ass-hat.

Not that that had helped with the whole matchy-matchy. Because Big Man had declared fucking immediately: "Me too." But there was something to be said about having a kid – a son – who just was with you. On the same team. Even if it was a team of fucking losers. Still cheering for the same team. That's family. Full-stop. So fucking them. Not losers. Survivors. In it together.

And, he'd give Liv that she was right. He probably would've been kicking himself if he hadn't put on the fucking dork shirt.

They'd been taking a shitload of pictures that morning. So many. Bordering a ridiculous amount.

Liv had gotten good with a camera, though. It'd been a purchase made while Em was still a baby. Liv had seemed start picking it up more after Lewis, though. Maybe it was like she was trying to see the world through different lens. Or trying to see the good in it through the kids' eyes – using them as a vehicle and subject matter. The things they did as a family. Their milestones. Or maybe it was just extra armor – or weaponry – for her to schlep about when they were out-and-about.

It'd definitely been a bit of a pain in the ass her toting the camera around that morning. There'd been a couple rides where they'd had to first stand in a line to put the thing in a locker before they even got in the ride's line. But couldn't blame it all on the camera. They didn't exactly travel light – especially anymore with Big Man. Whole lot of medical supplies and electrolytes and pain killers and bandaids and sunscreen and hats and layers or warmer and cooler of clothes and cooling towels and compression and joint supports and snacks and bottles of water stuffed into a backpack. They'd actually had trouble jamming the fucking thing in the teeny-tiny lockers at the rides. Ended up having to unpack the damn thing and claim two lockers just to get all their shit to fit.

There'd been times that summer Cassidy had felt a bit like a pack horse when they were out and about. Between that backpack and Liv's purse that was almost bigger than the fucking diaper bag they had to tote around with them when Em was little. She pretty much dragged around a beach bag year-round. No wonder her shoulder was always bothering her – and he'd managed to become an expert as her go-to near nightly masseuse.

That day, though, it was just the camera she was toting around. Leaving the bag to him beyond the one ride they'd had to switch-out on because Big Man decided he was brave enough while Em wasn't tall enough. Dr. Doom's Fear Fall. That had created a bit of a scene.

Brian had been sure that Ben wasn't going to be down with going on it. Mean, they could basically hear residual echoes of people screaming on it the whole previous afternoon while they were at the hotel pool. And that was when the ride was probably a good mile away. That sound was travelling.

They'd all stood staring at the ride for a good long time after they got over there. It was sort of memorizing to watch. But it definitely put the shrieks of terror into some perspective. Had seemed like Big Man was going the hard-no route on rollercoasters. Or anything 'too stupid scary'.

They'd had to all agree that was fine. Bri had sort of felt that it might mean they'd end up feeling like Universal was a bit of a bust when it came to value for money. Seemed like it was known for its rollercoasters and thrill rides. But reality was with the way Big Man's joints and inflammation were with his lupus they didn't want to agitate it too much with rides that were too much jostling or jarring anyway. They were playing enough of a Russian roulette with the heat and sun and humidity. But they'd gotten pretty pro at figuring out the balance in managing that that summer at home.

Ben had maintained his hard-no when they'd reached the Hulk Coaster. First fucking ride when you enter Super Hero Island. It'd been a bit of a downer. Not the best way to start their day after the initial thrill of the KAA-POW photo stop entrance – caught on-camera all matchy-matchy to start their day as they crossed the bridge into the park's first 'island of adventure'.

Mean, Brian could see why Big Man was going the hard-no route. The thing was fucking intimidating. Not an introductory rollercoaster for a kid who'd basically just experienced Coney Island rides (and also refused to go on the Cyclone) and It's A Small World at Disneyland.

Brian would also admit that the Cyclone about topped out his rollercoaster experience – and hadn't been something he'd been on for years until the last several when him and Jack seemed to manage to go and fork out their $10 to ride the thing each summer. Normally he'd call that a fucking waste of money too. Only it wasn't. It was bonding with the Kid. More family. More memories. Shared experiences. More and more getting that it wasn't about giving your kids shit. Or the money involved in that. It was about sharing time and energy and experiences and memories with your family. So dropping a Twenty to have a few minutes of one-on-one with Jack once a year? Worth it. Something the Kid might remember fondly about him in terms of family shit. That was important. Priceless. Less opportunity to establish that with the Kid in maintain their relationship too. And their relationship was complicated.

It was getting better, though. Jack was maturing. Cassidy knew his Mom would argue that he was maturing too. That fatherhood and marriage and now figuring out how to deal with the medical system and the education system with all that was going on with Ben – it had made him grow up a lot. In a lot of ways he hadn't even realized he hadn't grown up yet. Ways you just don't know until you're faced with having to deal with all that. It's different experiences. Different skill sets you need to learn. Ways you've got to talk and think and advocate.

Jack had been good that summer too. Had been good about the marriage. Had been good about adjusting Ben's surname. There hadn't been a tantrum or ball-busting or any kind of veto invoked. Just some three-way talks between him and Liv and the Kid. Some one-on-one between him and Liv and him and Jack. Knew Jack had put in major some one-on-one with Ben too – about all of it. About what the kid wanted and needed. The Kid had done a lot better the past few months about working at figuring out how to be there for Big Man and Ducky. About making time for them. About spending time with them. Had seen a lot more of him. Even if some of that was about accessing A/C and a stock fridge – there'd been some good points to it too. Thought the family needed it before Jack really did full-on finally launch into adulthood – with the new girlfriend and the new job.

And as much as Jack had done some shit-talk about the family 'honeymoon', Cassidy knew the kid sorta was hurting that it hadn't worked out that he could tag along.

Liv had been sending him some pictures and texts. Had sent him one of the giant green, crowscrew track that pretty much dominated that whole side of the park. Huge Hulk statue in front of it – hulking out, tossing one of the coaster carts right off the track in a fit of rage. And Ben and Em in front of it. Em was huge, goofy smiles. Her usual state. Ben looked a bit more leery about the screams of the passengers intermittently whirling and swirling by them – just of their heads. Think the kid thought some people might come tumbling out on top of them. Likely justified. The way the ride was launching the coaster around its loop-de-loops, it definitely sounded about as close as you could get a Hulk rage roar every time.

Jack had hit Cassidy with a text not long after Liv had sent it. "You better be fucking going on that for me, Bro. Puts Cyclone to shame. Will hate you if you do Back to the Future without me, tho."

Yea. No-go on either, 'Bro'. One – the kids weren't tall enough for the Hulk. And Two – the kids were tall enough for Back to the Future and if they had the time, they'd definitely be hitting up that ride.

But, again, Brian would admit that even though he was pretty indifferent to coasters overall – it definitely looked like one he wouldn't mind trying. Mean, the fucking park guide said that the first catapult sent you out the gates at the force of a fighter jet. That you entered rolls at Zero-G weightlessness. It seemed like the sort of ride you should at least try.

But he'd made the mistake of saying that out loud. Ben had been sure to point out that it was a 'definitely too scary' ride. And that had just prompted Em to inform him: "I'm brave nuff, Daddy. I'll go with you."

Yea. No kidding. His Ducky was all guts. Barged head-first into everything. His Mom might say Emily was a 'strong-willed child'. Cassidy liked to say that she got that from Liv. That it was some sort of fucking karma for her to see just what dealing with her was like. And, sometimes Brian didn't know what fucking deity he'd pissed off that he had two (three if you counted his Mom too) women in his life who were so fucking stubborn and strong-headed – not just strong-willed. But that kind of talk just got Liv to spout back at him: "No, she's your daughter. And she acts – she doesn't think, Brian." And, apparently, that was what was going to be the bane of their existence after Em hit her teens. He wasn't sure he entirely agreed with Liv's assessment there.

That ride, though, been an easy no. It was just a no-can-do. Can't. Neither kid was tall enough to get on the Hulk. So fine.

They'd wandered over to stare at Dr. Doom's Fear Fall instead. It'd taken them a while. The themeing in the area was fucking incredible. It really did look like a comic book had come to life. And Brian might not be a comic nerd – but he'd seen enough over the years and indulged in the Marvel movies enough with the kids that he was picking up on some of the references. The kids were spotting and picking up on more. It was fantastic. Especially Emmy.

The little pinball was everywhere. Maxing out his anxiety a bit. The park might not be at capacity – and they might be New York kids – but there were still crowds and people in a new, unfamiliar place. But off she kept on trotting.

She'd figured out that you could pick up the pay phones scattered all over the streets and alleys of the Metropolis. Initially it'd been that she'd been mystified and fascinated by the fact these were "Real phones like in the old-in days. Like when you and Mommy were kids!" Yea, Kiddo, those 'olden days'. Fucking Christ, his kids kept him young but sure as fuck sometimes made him feel ancient.

"Emily, don't touch them," Liv had chastised her initially. "They'll be old and have lots of germs." Liv had definitely become a bit of a germ feign since they'd gotten Ben's diagnosis. It was this constant battle to make sure he wasn't getting exposed to extra germs and opportunistic infections. Yea, that's real easy to do when they lived in New York City and now were taking a fucking vacation at a theme park and planning on letting the kid swim in the ocean.

But, of course, Ducky hadn't listened. It wasn't her strong point. She had massive selective hearing – especially when it came to when Mom and Dad were laying down the law. So up the phone had come and got pressed against her ear.

"Someone's talkin'," she'd told them.

Liv had gone over to put it back and to retrieve Em. "It's likely just the operator," she muttered at their daughter who held at the receiver tight.

"No, Mommy," she argued. "Says the 'Vengers in space right now. So we supposta rob the jew-ly store."

Liv had given her an incredulous look. One that Big Man had definitely inherited from her – Stink Eye. Ducky was good at tall tales. The imagination of their two kids was something else. And between super heroes and Ninja Turtles and Transformers – a lot of times the stories in their make-believe seemed to layer right into like real world crime fighting. Mom and Dad are cops so every story comes back to good guys versus bad guys thing.

But something about the way Em had said it must've prompted Liv to put the thing up to her ear too. And a smile had grown across her face.

"Benj, come listen," she gestured.

And that was it – they'd spent a good thirty minutes just spotting every call box they could find. Learned that Iron Man had been spotted in town so bring the 'can opener' to the next job. They'd also got messages from S.H.I.E.L.D. calling them to action and updating them on crimes occurring in the area. The kids were loving it. It was pretty much granting them permission to be super heroes for the day. Immersing them more fully in the experience. And, it was like a scavenger hunt for them.

It prompted them to start looking out for other Easter Eggs. And they'd found a lot. The Daily Bugle in newspaper boxes on street corners. References to Thor - his Hammer creating an giant crater in the middle of the city. Yancy Street. Osborn's Industries from Spiderman and Venom. And Stark Tower. Baxter Annex. Project Gama insignias.

Brian had pointed out little hints from some of the older movies and comics they hadn't yet gone back and endured yet – Nelson & Murdoch: Attorneys at Law from Daredevil and Blaze & Ketch Mechanics from Ghost Rider. But it was the kids who'd picked up walking down the 'villan alley' to Fear Fall that if you were quiet you could hear the hidden audio of some criminals whispering plans for their next heist. The kids loved it. Just like they loved – and were horrified – to discover that all of the Fantastic Four had apparently failed in their attempt to stop Dr. Doom from this experiment aimed at collecting fear to use as a weapon. The impacts of their fall – and their body shapes – were etched into the pavement leading up to the ride.

They'd stared and stared at those markings. And then they'd stared and stared up at the ride. It was pretty fun to watch. To hear the screams. To laugh at the poor souls that were putting themselves through it.

But then with Em still intermittently picking at him about being 'a scare-y cat, not a super hero', Big Man had decided he was brave enough to handle the Fear Fall.

Well. Shit.

Him and Liv had stared at each other for a bit with that declaration.

"Benj, maybe we should try another ride first," Liv had suggested.

"One without 'fear' in its name," Cassidy had said.

Ben just looked at them. "It's not even a ride. Look," he said pointing at it just as it launched another set of people up and screaming, "they just go up and then come down."

And Em had hopped on the closest Fantastic Four body mark. "Jep. Dis wha happened when they came down!"

Benji had just squinted at her. "That's fake."

"Benj," Liv had tried again, "Maybe we should go do Spiderman or Iron Man first. A non-rollercoaster."

"Mom, it's not a rollercoaster either! I wanna do it!"

"Me too! I not scared!" Em said.

And they'd shared another long look. But Cassidy had interjected and just said, "OK." Mean, technically, they were there to do the rides. They had to stare somewhere. They'd been in the park like an hour and still hadn't been on a ride yet. So, why not?

But he likely should've taken a beat and double-checked the height index they'd been handed. Should've re-familiarized himself with the handful of rides that were a no-go for Em but a'OK for Benj. The ones that he and Liv had decided they'd try to avoid specifically because they didn't want to deal with a meltdown. But he hadn't thought this was one of them. Because like Ben said – it wasn't exactly a ride.

That had been a mistake. Because they got up to the entrance to the ride and discovered: 1) Ben was going to have to be strapped into a seat with an adjusted harness because he was literally just tall enough. Honestly, it was more like he was a hair too short even with his shoes on and standing straight and the attendant standing there was apparently giving them a pass. Which, Brian could tell from Liv's face she wasn't all that down with. And, 2) Ducky was way too short to be anywhere near ready to go on the ride.

That was pretty much cue for Ben to tease his sister. Ducky had had it coming with the teasing she'd been giving him about his fear factor for some of the rides. But it'd still been unnecessary.

"Big Man," Brian had warned him. "Don't be the Lesser Man."

It'd shut Ben up but hadn't put a stop to the waterworks coming out of Em – not about the teasing, just about not getting to go on the first ride. But Liv had still said, "Go." That reaction usually meant she knew the Kiddos needed a cool down period from each other. Or it might've been that she just didn't want to risk double-waterworks if they now told Ben he wasn't getting on the ride.

Brian had been ready to pull the plug on the Fear Fall. But he'd ultimately ended up glad Liv had encouraged him to take his boy. It was more like she'd given him that moment with Ben. She'd had that moment with him in Disney – at four years old. He was getting it now – six years later. Six years of Daddy Duty to get this … little unexpected joy with his son. Fucking cheese ball.

The themeing in the queue had been another trip. Just really well done. Again – just popped right out of a comic strip. Doombots everywhere. You basically watched a propaganda film from Doom's home country, Latveria. Ben and Em weren't huge into the Fantastic Four. Ben said they hadn't been allowed to watch that one yet. Brian was pretty sure they had but had repressed the shittiness of the movie when compared to the Marvel ones from their generation. So some of the storyline and the characters were a little new to Big Man.

It'd been sort of fun, though. Some of the panels in the queue were done up like comic pages. Ben was getting better at being able to read – or at least figure out story – when it came to using comics as books. But Cassidy got to help him out in piecing together the story of the ride they were about to go on.

Basically all the people in Doom's homeland were forced to go on The Tower of Doom to generate fear that was then used to power some sort of experimental weapon called the Fusion Dynamo. Yep. More cheese. But most comic books and super hero stuff was. And the kids still eat it right up. Mmm. Cheese.

Turned out there weren't enough citizens in Latveria to power the Fusion Dynamo so Doom had decided the best place to get the power needed for this weapon of mass destruction was the U.S. of A. That was some deep subtext considering the fear mentality and fear mongering their country seemed to operate and thrive under these days. The politics of fear as motivation. But likely a discussion way over Big Man's head and a too Fourth Wall for a fun day at the theme park.

So instead it was just a nod and smile at the notion that Doom was now luring herds of unsuspecting theme park sheep to do his bidding – generating and collecting their fear for his super weapon. Likely a good thing Liv wasn't on the ride. She would've had some eye rolling and commentary for sure.

It'd been a bit rattling when they'd got corralled into their little cubicle for boarding. It was just four people on each side. Can't see anyone else on your tower. So it'd just been him and Ben with some other older kid and his Dad too. Seemed like they'd done the ride before and were fans.

More rattling when the doors slide open and did the reveal on the chairs. Pretty much looked like you were getting strapped into an executioners chair. Had thought Big Man might want to take the Chicken Route for a moment – find the exit. Kid had looked at him with real big eyes. But likely afraid to bail when there was the older kid there next to him.

Cassidy had positioned himself to block them and given Ben's shoulders a good squeeze.

"No biggie if you want to bail," he assured him.

"Ducky'd laugh," he winged a bit.

Brian shrugged. "We don't tell her."

Ben sighed a little and stared at the chairs but inched forward, managed to get himself seated. Seemed to take a while for the attendant to get the shoulder braces adjusted down and around Ben right. Brian had interjected to make sure they were tight. He could tell that the attendant was likely giving a bit of leeway for that G-force sensation that was undoubtedly going to send their asses floating out of their seats. But he didn't want Ben shitting himself in the process. The kid being secure for his first ride was a good plan. They could work up to the fun and science of G-force on a later ride.

But then the attendant was gone. And they sat. And sat. Cassidy knew they were likely working their way around the tower getting everyone strapped in. Ben didn't quite understand that.

"How come the ride's not going?"

"They're just getting everyone strapped in," he assured.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Just need to make sure everyone's in safe," he tried again.

"What's taking so long?" Ben had lamented.

Brian had tried to look at him. To give him some assurance. But the way the seats were they really couldn't see each other.

"You OK, Big Man?" he asked. "You need off?"

But it'd been too late. Just then the ride raised them a couple feet off the ground. Ben let out a sound. It was pretty near a shriek.

"Ben. It's OK," Cassidy offered. "We watched it a hundred times. Right?"

But the ride still wasn't moving and he could near feel the stress coming off Benj. Terror and anxiety. Fear.

"It's just a ride, Benji. Just hold those straps tight."

"I'm scared," Ben whimpered.

"I know," Brian assured. "Fear Fall, right. Just hold on—"

And he didn't get to finish. Without fucking warning all of a sudden they were thrust about 200 feet into the air – at the fucking speed of a 747 jet engine. Dr. Doom laughing at them over loud-speakers like a fucking maniac.

"Holy FUCK!" Brian said way louder than he meant to.

Jesus Christ, when the ride guide said this thing launched faster and with more force than a space shuttle he'd believe it now. There were screams all around him. Now he could hear the whole tower of people – and the one next to them too. And then just as suddenly as they'd launched into the sky they dropped back down – his stomach in his throat and his ass off his seat defying gravity.

"FUCK!" he let out again.

And then for a long second they were just floating there – against gravity and the pull of the Earth. And he hear his kiddo giggling.

"Daddy! Dad! I'm floating!" Ben said.

And Brian smiled. "Me too, Big Man," he managed to get out just as his ass started to settle back into his seat.

Yea. He was fucking floating. It'd probably been the start of him floating for the rest of that day. He almost didn't want that slow wafting back down to Earth that the ride was starting them on. That this day – the end of summer – was taking them on. Back down to Earth. Back down to reality.

But right now – right now – he was up there in the sky. Defying fucking gravity with his son.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**A chapter was uploaded earlier today. Please check the chapter before this to read it.**

**The next chapter will be a continuation of this — still in Super Hero Land. Still working up to meeting Spiderman.**

**Again, reviews and comments are appreciated. Starting to wind down this story.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

*****2 CHAPTER PRIOR TO THIS — CHAPTER 5 and 6 — WERE POSTED IN THE LAST 24 HOURS. SO IT WON'T HAVE BUMPED AND MIGHT NOT HAVE ALERTED. PLEASE GO BACK AND READ IT IF YOU MISSED THEM.******

Cassidy was pretty sure Big Man was still on Cloud Nine when the Fear Fall had finally let them down from their three accelerated pops and drops.

Also was pretty sure that the Fear Fall had knocked some of the fear Ben had in him about tackling any of the rides that day. Faced his fears head on. That was good. Him and Liv had to preach that to Big Man a lot. Facing his fears. Being brave. "Fearlessness" that was Liv's thing. Survivorship – that was their family thing. But all that mattered right then was that the kid who'd looked like he might piss himself when they were getting strapped in was all smiles now.

"That was sooooooo cool. Like it was awesome. Right, Dad?" he'd been talking about a million miles a minute as they got off the ride.

"Pretty epic," he allowed. "Definitely woke me up." Like the kids hadn't had him and Liv up since about 5 a.m. And like they hadn't gone through half the coffee pods that'd been put in the suite's miniscule kitchenette before they'd headed out to brave these parks with two kiddos who were off the walls.

"Should we go again?" he asked. Looking at him with just as big eyes as before – but this time all excited and expectant. "Can we go again, Dad? Daddy, please!"

It was a heart-string puller. But him and Liv were getting a lot of "Mommys" and "Daddys" out of Big Man again lately. Before they'd watched them kind of phase out and slip away after he'd turned about eight. There was this weird unexpected struggle with that. This shift in your relationship with your kid. And just this realization that they are growing up so much quicker than you ever expected. And as a parent – it's like even though the goal is to get them to adulthood, you're never really ready to lose your kid.

It was sort of this other layer of … semi-niceness of having a sick kid. Not that anything about it is real nice or good. That it destroys you as a parent in other ways. But it also gives a reminder of just how much your kids need you even if they're growing up way too quick. They're still little kids. You're still Mommy and Daddy. And those Mommys and Daddys had been coming out of Ben's mouth a lot more since all the doctor's appointments and hospital visits and treatments.

It was a mixed bag, though. You had to listen to them carefully. Watch the context. Because a lot of the time they started coming out in rapid fire when Ben wasn't feeling so hot. He was way tired or he was hurting bad. But too often he still wouldn't verbalize that to them. What got verbalized was Mommy and Daddy. That "Daddy", he'd just got, though, was pretty sure it was more that his kid was over-following with the semi-thrill and excitement of surviving his first thrill ride. Begging – pulling the heart-strings – to get to grab at that experience all over again.

But he'd had to tell the kid: "Think we should check on Em and Ducky first."

The line hadn't taken that long to get through. It'd been pretty clear when they were coming in on their early entry that move families were bee-lining for the headline rides and lands. Namely the fucking Harry Potter Land. Though, there'd definitely been a line already when they'd stood staring at the Hulk Coaster.

Their family, though – no rush. They probably should've headed over to Spiderman A-SAP. It was apparently one of the show-stoppers in the park. But, nah. That wasn't them. They'd just moseyed. That was their usual weekend M.O. Wander neighborhoods, parks, playgrounds. Take it all in. Stop when and where they wanted. Kids liked that. It was their norm. Their comfort level in this unfamiliar and over-whelming new environment. And, him and Liv had been fine with that. Agreed on strategy – focus on Super Hero Land. The rest was just icing.

So even though Dr. Doom clearly wasn't a show-stopper – least when measuring by the standards of its near non-existent line – hadn't deflected to one of the headliners to just get'er done. But, still, didn't want to leave Liv having to handle the waterworks Em had going on too long. That wasn't entirely fair.

And, really, this day – the way they were doing the day – it was family time, family day, family vacation. Didn't want to spend too much time of it apart, even if there were likely going to be moments they had to separate. Or just needed breaks from each other.

But Ben had spotted a penny press as they were exiting. He'd been drawn to it.

"Can we do it, Dad?" he asked. Brian was about to say no. But then Big Man had gone, "It's like a medal for surviving the Fear Fall. Only we should make Ducky one too. To cheer her up."

And the Kiddo got him there. Heart-string puller again. Gave his shoulder a squeeze.

"There's Bubba," he said.

Couldn't say he knew what a older brother was exactly supposed to be either. But was also pretty sure that Ben was a good one. For as much as Em and Ben went at each other. Those two kids loved each other. Were there for each other. He'd even go so far as to venture that right now as this point in their lives they were best friends. He really hoped that they maintained some level of that as they grew up.

He'd dug out enough change – that had managed to stay in his pocket for the ride somehow – to actually do three. He thought he wanted one to shove into the back of his wallet. Some little memento of this little moment with his kid.

The Dr. Doom etching had sent Ben near prancing out of the ride to find his sister to give her hers. But he'd skidded to a stop. Em may not have gotten to go on Dr. Doom's Fear Fall but apparently in the time they'd been up there screaming their lungs out Em had stopped with the waterworks and managed to become best friends with Dr. Doom.

A guy in costume was in the alley now and even though he had his arms crossed – going full-on Doom at her – Em was still being Ms. Sociable and chattering away at him. The waterworks were clearly long ago forgotten. Though, it looked like Ben's wide-eyed timidity was back.

Liv had smiled when she'd spotted them. "You guys have fun?" she asked.

"EPIC! Daddy dropped the F-Bomb so many times," Ben told her. Of course. The kid historically had rarely ever let him get away with anything without reporting right back to Liv.

"Did he," Liv said and raised her eyebrow at him. There was more of a tease to it than a tell-off, though.

What was he going to say to that. Cassidy just shrugged. "We were dropping," he provided.

It got a small amused noise out of her. He always liked when he managed to get one of her smiles. He was doing good about that lately. He was getting a lot of them. But Liv and him were in sync right now. As a couple. As parents.

Shit was far from perfect. But they definitely were kind of just chugging along on their track. It felt good. Maybe it was just a honeymoon period. But things at home just felt easy right now. Even with how hard some of the stuff they were having to juggling and handle and work through was. It was just working.

A whole lot of love and mutual respect going on. Some pretty decent communication going on. They were in a good place. All that foundation they'd put down – felt like they were really building on it. That it'd been worth it. Long haul was paying off.

"Yea! So he prolly should put like … at least three dollars in the Swear Jar, Mom!"

"Mmm, sounds like it," she gave him a little shake of the head, but her pinkie found his and hooked around it. He fucking loved when she did that. So nonchalant and casual.

"Or like … five each time since it's the biggest swear!" Ben suggested enthusiastically with his Ma's acknowledgement there. He earned a real amused sound at that from her. Ben was good at making his Ma laugh too. Both the kids were. Made you love them more. "So like fifteen! Right? For the souvenir budget?!"

Brian plopped his hand on top of Ben's capped head and gave it a bit of a rotating shake. "Think you already cashed in on the souvenir budget, bud."

"It was only a penny!" Ben gave him a weak protest.

Brian shook his head at him. "No it wasn't," he said. Big Man had been just as enthusiastically involved in sorting out the pennies and quarters he could find still in his pockets to cash out the 51 cents each needed to press the things. "Show your Mom."

Ben happily held it up his Dr. Doom penny for her to check out. Liv took it and examined it in the palm of her hand.

"Whoa, pretty neat, Little Fox," she allowed Ben a little smile.

"Yea! And the machine was like all simple machine stuff. Like cranks and gears and levers. Like, MOM! The whole theme park – all the rides, the rollercoasters, it's all science experiments. Right? Like physics and force and friction and momentum and gravity and stuff?"

"That's science," Liv teased him in her best Bill Nye impression. She actually did it pretty well. She was funny. But it was another fucking series that was on high rotation in their house.

These kids of theirs? Seriously? Such little weirdos. Cassidy still couldn't wrap his head entirely around how the universe decided Liv and him were the right people to be raising these little people. These little geniuses. Little scientists. The stuff the two of them latched on to an clung to. It was just so outside of his realm. But that was likely the point. Pushed his bounds – tested him, made him grow. All the fucking time.

"There was ZERO-G on the ride! We floated! My bum was out of the seat! So was Dad's!"

"Wow," Liv mouthed at him and gave Brian a sincere smile. That pinkie shake at his again. He could tell – she was happy for him. For both of them. That he'd gotten that moment with Big Man.

"Yea! So it's like a medal for doing the ride." Ben took it back from his Mom's palm and looked at the little thing with such admiration again. Complete pride in himself for enduring that ride.

"I think you've F-bombed the souvenir budget, Bri," Liv mouthed against his shoulder quietly. But he could feel her smile.

And she was right. Again. As usual – though, he didn't tell her that too much. Even if it was fact.

They'd told the kids so many times that morning that Mom and Dad would get them ONE souvenir at Universal – within reason and not something they could just buy at home. So many times. And he should've thought about before buying into the penny press. Because little did he know then that he was setting himself up to get roped into digging out change as they exited nearly every ride. Collecting nearly every character. Dishing out a buck at a time in quarters for the two kiddos.

Ah, well. Cheap little souvenir for the kids. Though, he figured they were still more than likely to lose them near instantly. But Liv had been managing collecting them and putting them in a pocket in the backpack. See how many of them actually made it back to New York with them, though. He'd pretty sure they were going to make it. Liv had pointed out they had little booklets to collect the things in. More than suspected she'd be expanding the souvenir budget too and picking up one for each of the kids before they left the park for the day, just to try to keep the things all in one place. As much as they could when both kids kept wanting to look at and admire their medals.

"We got one for Emmy too, though," Ben said.

"That was nice of you," Liv said and gave him a little nudge. "You want to give it to her and get your picture with Dr. Doom too?"

But that got a hard-no head shake. And a look. The look was clearly trying to convey that he was way too grown up for pictures with some guy dressed up as some character. But think everyone knew that was bullshit. Ben just didn't like the looks of the guy.

Ben definitely liked the looks of some other guys, though. Like the Green Goblin who was loitering around villain alley too. But he likely got a pass – the Goblin was on the list of the kids most hated-loved super villains. You don't mess with these kids' Spiderman.

But the Goblin had definitely messed with them a bit with his antics. He was basically mirroring their every movement. Creeping after them and then playing statue as soon as they looked back his way.

Liv had still managed to get some pretty cute – and pretty funny – pictures of the kids interacting with him. Ben trying to be real timid and serious while Em was full-on telling the Green Goblin off for all the trouble he brought Spiderman – and apparently that he brought him and Liv too.

"MY MOMMY AND DADDY ARE POL-LEASE OFFICERS! THEY SICK OF ALL THE TROUBLE YOU MAKE TOO! THEY ONLY HAVE SO MUCH TIME! THEY VERY BUSY PEOPLE! THEY NEED TO COME HOME TO PLAY WITH ME! AND 'PID-DER-MAN TOO BUSY TO BE DEALING WITH YOU WHEN MY MOMMY AND DADDY AREN'T AT WORK! YOU'RE A BAD GUY! YOU JUST MAKIN' TUB-LE! IT'S MEAN!"

Video actually might've been funnier than photos. Brian had managed to dig out his phone and capture a bit of the tail-end of it all before the Goblin apparently decided he was done with Em's lecture and shooed them all off toward the Storm Force Accelatron.

It was basically a teacups ride plastered in an X-Men vanier. Teacups weren't exactly Cassidy's favorite and X-Men wasn't too high-up on the list of Marvel characters the kids were familiar with yet. They were a little more intense and violent for them to have let the kids indulge in that movie universe. Though, Big Men had started to be drawn to some of their comic books. But they still didn't hold a flame to Spiderman, Iron Man and Captain America. The kiddos were Avengers fans through and through most days.

But Ducky's eyes had absolutely lit up seeing the teacups. It was one the kids had been on more than once on some of their Coney Island sojourns. And it was close enough to a carousel that it hit all Em's happy places. So they'd blitzed that line too. It was an easy line – short. It actually took more time reading the comic panels to get the overly-complicated context of the ride's story than it would've if they walked right on. Actually probably took a bit longer because Ducky was committed to reading each of the panels to them – showing off her reading ability. But even though the kid definitely was well above her grade level when it came to reading she wasn't exactly Speedy Gonzalez.

Premise of the ride was that Magneto, the archenemy of the X-Men was threatening the world (somehow) and that storm and Professor X had created the Accelatron in the hope that it would stop Magneto (again, somehow). So the riders were being recruited to man the Accelatron and help Storm gather the powers of Mother Nature.

Alritie then …

Em had charged right for one of the yellow cars when they'd gotten on the ride. Their family definitely wasn't going to get stuck with purple. Liv had tried to start some trouble – a tease – going like over to one like the family should get in it. Em was having none of it. Though, she'd clearly stated that the rest of them could go in the purple cart and she'd do the yellow work all on her own. Right.

As the ride started, Storm and Professor X were backo n the line to let them now that their goal was to spin the vehicles around as fast as possible to generate lightning and thunder to be gathered by the power generator at the center of the ride.

Fantastic.

Em and Ben were all in – twisting and turning the wheel in the center of the cart with all their might as they hurled around. Liv was loving it too. But FUCK, Cassidy hated that feeling. It didn't matter how much he focused his eyes on just Liv or the kids – he still felt dizzy and motion sick. It'd never been a problem before but since the shooting and the surgeries and the heart meds – sometimes it just felt like his equilibrium was a little off. Not that he'd been on a whole lot of teacup rides in his adult life before the shooting either. But still. And, seriously, looking at the fucking near diabolic grin Liv was giving him as she helped the kids crank that wheel – wasn't helping. Pure glee out of the three of them.

"HELP DADDY!" Em screeched at him. "We needa cap-ter the light-ing! DA FATE OF THE PLAN-IT IS IN OUR HANDS, DADDY!" Fucking parroting Professor X there. At least she'd been listening.

Thunder and lightening and claps and flashes of strobe light went off above them. That definitely wasn't helping with maintain his orientation. And going faster was only making more and more strobe lighting to appear.

Finally the thing slowed down – Professor X telling them they'd defeated successfully defeated Magneto (somehow).

Thank God. Because Brian thought he was about ready to hurl.

"You OK?" Liv asked, gripping his elbow as he hulled himself out of the car. The kids were seriously jumping up and down like they wanted to do the whole whril and hurl again. That was going to be his own hard-no. He'd sit out round two.

"Sure," he muttered at her. "Just like being in a car with you at Rush Hour."

Liv rode the brakes and did a whole lot of road rage in New York traffic. Letting her drive effectively left him car sick. It was generally why he did a whole lot of the city driving in their family.

The quip had earned him a small smack in the chest. But it'd also earned him a reprieve from having to get on it again. She could see he was more than a little green around the gills and had urged the kids back up to the main thruway.

They got there just in time to see the 'parade' of all the super hero characters driving down the street on their various vehicles. And they'd gotten their first glimpse of Spiderman. So Em had pretty much lost her mind about that.

"It 'PI-DER-MAN!"

"Friendly neighborhood Spiderman," Brian had provided.

"Spins a web any size, captures criminals just like flies," Ben added.

"LOOK OUT! HERE COME PI-DER-MAN!" Em had cheered at him.

She'd been near jumping up and down. Brian had actually had to lift her up so she could watch him go down the rest of the route – because she'd rather see his rear-end than look at any of the rest of the characters zipping along in front of them.

Turned out Spiderman wasn't so friendly, though. The rest of the characters were loitering around the street after the parade for photo-ops. But they couldn't find Spiderman. Though, they'd stopped and meant just about every other character. Or, Em had. It'd been at that point that it'd become clear that even most super heroes in costume at a theme park weren't on the list of adult males that Ben was too interested in cozying up with.

They hadn't forced it. They outright told the kids not to talk to strangers – or get close to them – in real, everyday life. They weren't going to fucking make them get a photo with some people dressed up as super heroes. Though, it'd been clear that Ben getting to meet Spiderman might be a bust too.

Ducky had happily posed for pictures with Wolverine and Storm and Cyclops and Rogue. Beyond Wolverine there hadn't been much of a line so the characters had actually engaged in full-on babble with her. Gave Liv lots of time to take her pictures, though. Time for Ben to look on and assess the situation from a far.

They did have to stand in a line to meet Captain America. Big Man had actually inched forward to meet him too – mostly because he had some questions about his shield. And because it was a more familiar movie character for the kid. The original Avenger – even if he wasn't Big Man's favorite. It'd been another place that Liv had gotten the whole fam-damily to huddle around the guy for a photo too. Also been the place that Cassidy got the first comment about his fucking Tshirt.

"Looks like we should be recruiting Daddy to the Avengers," Captain America had quipped at him. Ass-hat.

But even after the crowds had started to thin out from the meet-and-greets, they still hadn't been able to spot where Spiderman had headed off to.

"Maybe he went in his ride," Em had lamented and pointed up the street to that line.

"Want to go see?" Liv had asked.

That had gotten an immediate, unison response out of the Kiddos: "YES!"

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**So I'm having fun writing their little super hero experience and family moments. So it's going on and on. I know. It will be a continuation. Don't worry — the kids will actually meet Spiderman.**

**Reviews and comments are motivating and appreciated.**

**PLEASE NOTE: TWO CHAPTERS WERE POSTED YESTERDAY (AND THIS IS A THIRD ONE IN LESS THAN 2$). SO the story won't have bumped up and may not have alerted. If you're enjoying their theme park day too, please make sure you go back and read the previous two chapters. CHAPTER 5 and 6.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

*****3 CHAPTERS PRIOR TO THIS — CHAPTER 5, 6 and 7— WERE POSTED IN THE LAST 24 HOURS. SO IT WON'T HAVE BUMPED AND MIGHT NOT HAVE ALERTED. PLEASE GO BACK AND READ IT IF YOU MISSED THEM.******

And—OK. If Cassidy had been impressed with all the themeing on the streets of this place, on fucking Dr. Doom - then the waiting area for The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman? Amazing didn't do it justice. This was next level shit.

The line wound its way through the news room of the Daily Bugle. It was their first encounter of what the lines might end up looking like now that the park was open to more than just the hotel guests. It definitely drove home that Liv had made a good call on deciding to push them staying on-site – getting the extra hour before everyone else and these Express Pass things. Cassidy wouldn't say it was particularly express – but they were definitely in a shorter line than what a lot of people were.

It was OK. The sign had said it was only a 25 minute wait with their Express Pass. The kids were used to waiting that kind of time for a fucking train to come to get them from Brooklyn to Manhattan. And, really, there was just a shitload to look at.

The whole Bugle was just full of little gags and Easter Eggs. There was even a little shrine to Stan Lee. Even Liv had spent enough of the last eternity watching the Spiderman movies and cartoons and now the parade of comic books that Ben had discovered and adopted as reading material that she was picking up on the visuals.

There were lots of little puns and word plays. Live loved that sort of stuff. Made her smile – that made him smile, each time she nudged him and pointed out a poster with a gag that had zoomed over the kids' heads. She didn't want to read it out loud and have the kids asking questions – but she wanted to make sure he saw.

His second set of eyes. Second set of hands. His other half. Funny how that happened. How they fit. Knew she wouldn't have thought it or believed it twenty years ago. He wouldn't have believed it himself like a decade ago. But here they fucking were. A whole lot of moments like that that summer. With them going official. With just feeling more like a family in a different way that before.

Who fucking would've believed it? Fuck. Even in February as his past life caught up to him and made him feel like his current reality was crumbling around him? He wouldn't have believed it then. But they'd pulled through. She'd pulled him through. Grabbed his hand and helped his figure out how to get out of his tailspin. Given him the space to do it his way – while still being there with him. Made that past – that reality, that baggage he'd been carrying for all those years – seem easier. Lighter.

"I need that one for the squad room," Liv muttered at him and pointed.

D.E.A.D.L.I.N.E., it said and then laid it all out: Don't Procrastinate! Expect Delays! Anticipate cut-off times! Deliver materials on time! Lateness is unacceptable! Inexcusable! No! Excuses!

Yea. That about summed it up.

"For Fin?" he teased. Only it wasn't. Loved the guy like a brother. But, fuck, as much of an ally he had been to Liv – especially in the past year or so, the fall-out she'd brought on herself that spring and summer with her tango between Dodds and Miller and Stone – the guy could be a fucking lazy-ass when it came to paperwork. And like it or not – detective in a specialized unit? It was a whole lot more paperwork than it was being a cowboy.

"Or Amanda," she mumbled.

"Like that one," Brian said, pointing at his own top choice; DEADLINE: Either turn in your copy or turn in your resignation. IT'S YOUR CHOICE. Sincerely, The Management. "I'm going to have to start using that line."

She allowed an amused noise and gave him a smile, nudging him a bit with her shoulder. But she knew he had his own fucking battles on the job too. Just as fucking frustrating. And coming at him from too many angles. Too many personalities and priorities to manage. Way more than he liked. But he liked the hours. He liked being home for dinner – when his staff wasn't fucking dragging their heels and fucking over an investigation or case they were supposed to be getting into a courtroom. So good and bad. Pay off. There'd been a lot of balance there. He'd learned to live with it – because it let him be a dad. The kind of dad he wanted to be. Kind he thought his kids needed. Kind he sort of thought he wished he'd had.

The kids had been enthralled enough with the cartoon news casts playing up on the screens – setting up the ride's mission. Basically the Daily Bugle had had a new 'newsgathering vehicle' called the 'Scoop' designed for them. But the press conference lauding the Scoop's release was interrupted by BREAKING NEWS!

So fucking cheesy. But the look on the kids' faces? Again. Worth it. So fucking worth it.

The evil Sinister Syndicate – Doc Oct, Scream, Electro, Hydro-Man, and the biggest Bad of them all to their Kiddos, GREEN GOBLIN – had developed an anti-gravity gun and captured the Statue of Liberty. Between their favorite super hero, their most feared villain and a setting in their hometown – the ride was already a winner before they even got on.

And when the cartoon and the displays in the queue started referencing Peter Parker? Well, the kids were just done for. So excited.

Doc Oct was threatening to destroy not just Lady Liberty – but the whole city. The chicken shit reporters at the Bugle had taken off. Explained a lot about the half-eaten donuts and coffee mugs – computer screens frozen in time – all over the news room. Their bailing had left Editor-in-Chief Jameson no choice but to send out Parker to photograph the high-stakes story – and he's sending the tourists on the tour of the abandoned Bugle along with him to cover the news from the Scoop. Basically the kids had just gotten told they were going on a mission with Spiderman to save New York.

That had to be pretty fucking epic to the minds of a six-year-old and ten-year-old. Fuck. Cassidy felt that eleven-year-old version of himself – before been broken – stir with some giddy anticipation somewhere down in that soul of his he'd been working at rebuilding with Liv and with these kiddos.

The pure energy of Ben and Em's excitement had been enough for him and Liv to let go of their hands. Give them a longer leash to take a look around and soak it all up. It'd been good. It'd given Brian a chance to hold at Liv's hand.

Lately he couldn't begin to describe what just getting back to holding hands again had done for their relationship since February.

Something so fucking small. But the connection and the quiet physical intimacy of it. The comfort in it? He knew it'd fucking helped them so much. He actually thought in some ways her reaching for his hand again in those weeks while he was going through his fallout – it'd saved him. It'd saved them. He was heading for some internal combustion.

She'd pulled him out. Slowly but surely. She still was. He was still working at it. But she was still working through her stuff too. Least now they were figuring out ways to work through it together. To be more than just a person in the same room. To bear their souls in their own ways. Bit by bit. Finally. Twenty-something years in the making.

So now – fuck the cheese-factor. Fuck their opinions on PDA. Wife. Best friend. Partner. He held her hand every chance he got.

Though, they'd had to transfer their handholding back to the kids briefly when they'd clued in it was a 'dark ride'.

Neither of the kids were great about the dark. But Ben had his reasons for being especially bad. Cassidy was pretty sure that Ben would be a grown man and still have a night light or be leaving a light on in the hallway or the bathroom. He was going to hope that their boy at least wouldn't be him or Liv – where the TV had been their nightlight for years.

A lot of nights it still was. They took turns using it. Right now he used it – sat up for hours – more than Liv. But they'd had months and months after Lewis where it'd been the other way around. And there were still a lot of nights were Liv ended up sitting with him on the couch. Not that either of them were watching anything. They were just staring at a screen. Holding each other. Some nights that was enough just to make it through to the next day.

They'd had to talk the kids through this basically being like the movies. It wasn't going to be that dark. It was an easy enough sell when the kids got handed their 3D glasses. And Cassidy was pretty sure any trepidation they had faded after the ride started moving – because near instantly Spiderman had dropped right onto the hood of their vehicle. Not just visually dropped on the vehicle – despite Spidey just being a fucking image on a screen – the whole vehicle had shifted and moved with the weight of the cartoon. Or the weight of the comment. Because again – Em pretty much lost her mind. The guy was life-sized and right there in front of her in 3D.

"I told you! He here! In da ride!" she'd said. Her eyes looked all bugged out through those glasses. Too cute. There was a moment that would've been good to get a picture of. But it'd been a no-go on bring cameras on the ride.

Too bad. The ride was ridiculously good. So well done. It was screens and sets. And 3D. Technically 4D. Sets and animatronics and screens. Not that you could tell where any of it started or ended. And the visuals on the screens were just ridiculous too. 4K High-Def. Real and intricate in their detail. Definitely wished Jack was there for that because he'd appreciate it. The movements and the effects were so synchronized. So realistic. Smoke and mist and water spray and wind and flames and heat. It had it all.

It was a little intense. He could feel Liv checking on the kids. But they were alright. Every time Cassidy looked at them they were all smiles. They were just glued to every movement around them.

Spiderman had warned them that this was likely going to be 'the most dangerous night of his life' and after weaving through Manhattan back alley's their Scoop entered a warehouse. They found the Statue of Liberty – but they got spotted by the Sinister Syndicate.

All of a sudden they're being hurled down a sewer. Spiderman manages to fend of Hydro-Man and Doctor Octopus. The Scoop dodged the battle in its narrow escape, only it manages to scramble right into an attack by Hobglobin. Exploding pumpkin bombs igniting all around them as they flee to the street and right into Doc Oct's grasp.

Oct's tentacles scoops up the Scoop – or at least that's what it felt like. None of it was real. It was all visual effects and special effects and illusion created by sets and screens moving around them. But it'd definitely made it feel like Doc Oct had them suspended about 400 feet in the air with this anti-gravity cannon.

It was the first time that Liv had let out a tiny gasp. Yea – because the motion was so real that even though you were stationary, you still felt your stomach lurch. He'd looked over to check on her. But Big Man got to his Ma first, grabbing her hand on the grip bars.

"It's OK, Mommy," he told her. "It's only a ride. Just hold tight."

Fuck. He loved that kid. And from the little smile he saw spread on Liv's lips at the comment – betrayed just how over-the-moon she still was with being a Mom to that little boy.

Spiderman managed to show up and set into battle with Oct. Only that made him disengage the anti-gravity device and the Scoop went into a simulated freefall that again felt intensely real. Real enough that he reached out and added some extra grip to Ducky to keep her from lurching around too much. Not that she noticed his arm come across her – or that she even needed it – she was entirely transfixed.

Spidey jumped around them, spraying out webbing and managed to catch them in his massive web just before they hit the ground.

"SPINS A WEB ANY SIZE!" Em cheered.

And as the vehicle flopped and bounced out of that Hail Mary catch, they spotted that Spiderman had managed to capture all the super villains – tying them up in his webs.

"Catches criminals just like flies," Brian provided for her, leaning down to press a kiss against her temple. She was so happy.

He was so happy that Liv had talked him into just doing this. That he was getting to see and experience it with the kids. Liv must've sensed it, because her hand suddenly had found his where it was still wrapped around Emmy's shoulder and she gave it a squeeze. All the while while the Spiderman theme song was playing – both the kids singing along.

**AUTHOR NOTE: **

**A chapter was posted earlier today and two were posted yesterday. So there wasn't a bump and you might not have gotten an alert. So you might want to go back to Chapter 5 and read through to here.**

**This will still be a continuation.**

**Reviews and comments are appreciated.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

*****5 CHAPTERS PRIOR TO THIS — CHAPTER 5, 6, 7 and 8— WERE POSTED IN THE LAST 24 HOURS. SO IT WON'T HAVE BUMPED AND MIGHT NOT HAVE ALERTED. PLEASE GO BACK AND READ IT IF YOU MISSED THEM.******

It'd been a near given. They'd hardly gotten off the Spiderman ride and Big Man and Ducky were begging to go again.

That'd been OK. Pretty much the object of coming to Universal was Spiderman. And Transformers. Eventually. Hopefully.

So Cassidy and Liv hadn't put up any argument about exiting the ride and looping back-round to get right back in line. Fine.

Cassidy didn't mind. The ride had been impressive. Had actually lifted the 3D glasses up a few times over the course of the second go-around to try to get a better impression of how they were creating the optical illusions and sensory sensations of the ride.

But, really, that second time – it'd been enough. The third time in a row they'd done it had been more than enough.

Brian thought the kids were likely going to try to mount a case for a fourth ride, but he could see Liv taking a look at her watch at that point. They'd just put more than an hour of their day into Spiderman the Ride.

It was pushing noon. They'd agreed they'd be taking afternoon breaks to get Big Man out of the heat and to avoid their family M.O. of cranky burnouts.

But they still hadn't finished off Super Hero Island. And there still was no signs of where the kids could get their picture taken with a Spiderman that wasn't a statue in the gift shop.

The kids had actually registered on the third time through they were actually in a store. So they'd lost Big Man and his little Ducky a bit. They got drawn to all the bright colors and plastic shit. Wasn't often they let the kids loose in this kind of store in their usual reality. So, suppose, let them enjoy. It'd be short lived.

"I'm going to see if I can get a straight answer out of someone about where this caped crusader is hidden in plain sight," Liv told him.

"Wrong universe," Brian said.

She raised her eyebrow. "Where he's hanging out?" she quipped.

He shook his head at her. "Better," he allowed. And she gave his hand a little squeeze, holding onto it until their fingers slid apart as she wandered off to find someone with a name tag on.

Brian watched the kids and their looking around. Doing a whole lot of, "EMILY, look, don't touch."

There were stuffies of every Marvel super hero there in all kinds of shapes and sizes. That was a major selling point for Emmy. She wanted to touch and snuggle them all. Especially the "baby" ones. Apparently Teen Titans wasn't enough. Marvel had to get in on the action and Avengers had Avengers Babies on the market. At least in that gift shop. Sell, sell, sell.

They weren't down with that kind of shit for the kids. Learning, skills, experiences – not just stuff. And stuffies were near the top of Brian's list of most hated _stuff_ that kids had brought into his life.

Liv reappeared. Apparently Spidey was on lunch break or something.

"It's a paid photo-op," she muttered at him.

"Of course," he acknowledged. Figured. "How much?"

"Twenty-five," she said, staring at a little slip of paper.

He gaped at her. "For a fucking photo?"

It wasn't that shocking, though. He knew how much they dished out for school photos and sports photos and the "mini shoots" that Liv seemed to book once a year to get someone more professional that her taking the pictures of the kids – and getting them in them too. She was definitely making up for lost time in the sheer quantity of photos they had in the house.

He'd finally commented on how she fucking lingered near the near mortifyingly, embarrassing volume of little framed photos still on display around her place showcasing pretty much his entire public school evolution – then jumping to his police academy commencement. A lot of those photos were starting to be buried behind shots of Ben and Emmy, though. Thankfully. It'd come out that her mother had never bought any school photos of her growing up. That she didn't remember there ever being any pictures of her around their apartment. And there was likely a lot of truth to that. Brian had only seen a handful of photos of Liv as a kid and most of them weren't so much a kid as a teenager and twenty-something.

So the seemingly endless stream of photos she took of the kids – and ordered whenever a school or team or camp sent out a form – was definitely baggage related. But at least making up for that lost time usually came as a packaged deal. Not a fucking single picture.

"Or, we can pay for a package that includes all the Meet and Greets," she said. "That's eighty-dollars."

"And, let me guess, Transformers are paid-for-service too?"

"Yep," she sighed and handed him the slip of paper.

He glanced at the list of photo-ops it included. More than they'd get to or even fucking want. But $25 to get a photo of the kids with their favorite movie characters? That rubbed him the wrong way.

"So we just stand in line with them and take the best we can get from there," he suggested.

Liv shrugged. "It's against a green screen. So they can meet him. I can take some photos. But they aren't going to be anything we put in a frame."

There it was. Because they definitely needed the kiddos and Spidey on the mantel (they didn't have).

Brian shook his head and handed the pricing breakdown back to her. "Jack will know how to do the photo editing, green screen shit. Or Amanda. She's good at that computer crap."

Liv just made a little noise and shrugged again. It was a 'we'll see' – but he was pretty sure they both knew the outcome. They'd dole out the cash. Pretty certain she'd already decided it right then. But he'd have to let his annoyance at the cost dim and be the one who pulled out the credit card first when they got over there. Doing his best to make sure these few days were something Liv wanted too – not just the kids. She wanted the picture – they'd get the picture. Happy wife …

"He meets in the Comic Shop," she said and gestured out the doors, across the street. And she examined another pamphlet with 'show times' listed on it. She tilted it his way. "He takes a lot of breaks."

Brian snorted as he looked at the character meet schedule. "I'd say," he rasped.

It looked like Spidey was only out in about twenty-minute intervals. And it was going to be pushing forty minutes before the guy even appeared again if they were running on schedule. A bigger gap than usual. Must be on lunch break or something.

Oh – yea. On lunch break was right. Look at that. There on the schedule in black and white. Could go and Wine and Dine with the characters – paying fifty bucks a pop for theme park food and a photo with Spidey and Co..

Hard-no to that one. They'd be waiting until Spidey was done with that shit at least. Put paying twenty-five bucks in perspective. At least it wasn't fucking TWO HUNDRED. Jesus Christ.

Liv glanced at the kids, tracking their whereabouts and activities. Still taking in all in. They were off looking at collector-level action figures that likely had a pretty price tag. But they were quiet and occupied and not in anyone's way, so she then nudged a bit closer to him, rubbing her eyebrow while she still stared at the show time list. It was a sign she was starting to do some of her supervisory-management thing. Mom the scheduler and organizer mode. Basically, she was starting to stress. Trying to make everyone happy. Take care of everyone – but herself. Her M.O.

So he put his arm around her shoulder and gave it a bit of a squeeze.

"Relax," he whispered into her hair.

She made a little noise. "It's almost lunch, Bri."

"So we'll get some lunch," he said.

She gave him a look. "Have you seen anything you want to feed our children here?"

He made an amused sound at that. Yea. They'd become those people. Maybe they always were at some level. They were spoiled living in New York. And with how under-nourished both Ben and Em and Jack had been when those kids came home – Liv had always had been pretty conscious of what she was feeding them. More making up for lost time. And the additional glimpse of her childhood: "The oven was where she hide her liquor bottles. And the pots had cobwebs in them. I couldn't tell you a meal my mother cooked for me, Bri." So – their family made up big time for that too. Liv cooked. He cooked. They ate at a real fucking table – without devices. They talked. They favored going out rather than ordering in – and again looking at each other. Talking to each other. Didn't manage every meal, every day of the week – but did manage it a whole lot. Been a priority. Just like since Ben getting diagnosed and the dietician and nutritionist and social worker appointments they put them through had caused a whole lot of diet changes.

So, yea. He hadn't noticed a lot walking through the park yet that he thought he wanted to be feeding the kids either. Shitty hamburgers, pizza and stale-looking popcorn at subordinate prices didn't seem remotely worth it. It'd been an added layer to why he'd upgraded them to the family suite. A little kitchenette – and real fucking little, even by New York standards. So they had snacks, breakfast cereals some protein and fruits and veg that agreed with the kids palates and with lupus.

"There's snacks in the pack," he pressed a kiss against the side of her head while she stared at the kiddos. "Or we go take a break for a few hours and come back."

She made another little sound at that.

He heard her. There were a couple probable outcomes to that. One – there'd be a meltdown right now because they weren't done Super Hero Island yet and they hadn't met Spiderman yet. Two – they wouldn't get back to the park that day because Big Man would inevitably hit his 4 p.m. crash and after that he'd be too tired to come back. And then there'd be another meltdown – because he'd be frustrated and angry with his body and disappointed. Three – they'd manage to get back to the park but it'd be likely pushing 6 p.m. and then they'd be racing the closing time clock to fit in the rest of Super Hero Land. And no matter what they'd be having a waaaaay past bedtime night, which would set them up for potential exhausted Grouchies on their Day Two.

"I think he's doing OK," Brian provided.

"He keeps holding at his elbow," she said, staring across the store again.

Brian watched. He'd seen Big Man do a few of his knee rubs but hadn't noticed the elbow tell. But looking at him then he realized she was right. Ben was staring at the figures in a glass case and holding tight at his right elbow – clutching it across his body and to his chest. It was one of his tells. Self-compression.

"Think he just started doing it," he said. He hadn't noticed it before. Liv hadn't said anything or intervened. They'd both been on high alert with watching Ben. But it hadn't been that bad. They weren't at full heat and humidity yet, Though, with getting into the afternoon they were likely getting there. But so far there'd been a lot of indoor and A/C time. It wasn't that bad. Definitely no where near as bad as he'd been bracing himself for.

Liv just made a little sound again and stared at the kids for a real long beat.

"We'll grab a pit stop," Brian provided. "Get the cooling compression sleeves up his arm."

She nodded. Slowly.

"Ah, so if we aren't taking a break we're likely going to be here … two or three hours more."

He made a listening sound. She held the schedule so he could look at it with her.

"I wish we'd picked this up on the way in," she muttered.

"I didn't see it," he said.

She shrugged. "We weren't looking for it."

And that was true. They thought they knew where they were going. What they were doing. Generally. And really? How much fucking planning and scheduling does visiting a theme park need?

"So that's the comic drawing class," she said and pointed at the list of times.

He made his own little noise – frustrated with himself for not having thought or known to grab this fucking schedule when they came in. He glanced at his watch too.

"They're every thirty minutes," he said. "We'll be OK."

Liv made a little sound and glanced at him. "She said they fill up. Some of the characters are more popular than others. And I think we know who Benji will want to sketch. And who the most popular character is."

"Fuck …," he muttered.

"She said there's a sign outside the entrance that lists the upcoming sketches. But each cartoonist lists three characters. It's their discretion what sketch they teach each session."

He allowed a nod. "So, he's just gonna have to deal, Babe. We'll do our best. He'll end up liking the experience."

She gave him a look. "Or we'll have to go through it three times," she raised an eyebrow at him.

"He knows what 'no' means, Liv."

She exhaled and pointed at the other listing on the schedule. "That's the Guardians of the Galaxy sing-a-long show."

"Hard pass," he said.

"Bri, Emmy will love it …"

He pressed out his own exhale. Fair enough point. Fuck. These kids. He slid the schedule out of her fingers and stared at it himself too – glancing at his watch repeatedly like some how they could get a couple more hours in the day and sustained co-operation out of the weather and Ben's body.

Liv started fiddling with her phone. "And, the Iron Man ride is a forty minute 'experience'," she said, gesturing down the street again. "And it has a virtual line."

"What does that mean?" Brian muttered, still looking at the schedule, giving the kids another cursory glance to make sure they weren't turning into gremlins in the candy shop. Though, maybe it'd be better if they were. He could go Bad Cop – pull the plug. And not try to figure out to get the last few attractions in before they hit Witching Hour with the kids.

"That we should've booked out time to ride the thing when we got on the Island," Liv muttered. And then she shook her head. She turned the phone to him to show off a list of times that were left. "So what's going to fit?"

He did a quiet internal groan. "Just pick one. We'll figure it out or we'll do it tomorrow. Whatever."

She made a sound of acknowledgement. But then made a frustrated sound. And rubbed at her eyebrow again. "I am sure this is much more complicated than just going and standing in a line." She flashed the phone at him again.

He stared at the screen. "Think you need to scan our tickets."

Liv made another frustrated noise and fiddled some more. "This should be way easier than it is."

Brian stared over her shoulder. "You need to authorize the app to use the camera. Then scan."

"I'm trying," she muttered. It looked like she did it but then she held the ticket barcode up from in the plastic sleeve on the lanyard around her neck. It wasn't registering.

"Here," Brian said and took the phone from her to try to figure it out himself. OK. She was right again. This wasn't an intuitive app. What the fuck.

"Benj, Emmy," Liv called and gestured at the kids to come. They gave her a reluctant look. "We need to see your tickets."

But Ben arrived and held out a comic book at her. "Can I get this, Mom?"

Liv glanced at it. She was still more fixed on watching over his shoulder what he was doing and Brian could feel she was about ready to grab the phone back to do it herself. A whole lot of years of self-serve was something ingrained in her too. In more ways than one.

"Ah," Liv muttered, still more fixed on the phone than Big Man. "As your souvenir? Benji, you can get comic books at home."

"Not this one," Ben protested. "It's about here. See," he pressed it toward her again. "It's about Super Hero Island. It says Adventures at Super Hero Island. I think."

Liv managed to pull her eyes away from the phone and took a better look at the comic. She allowed Ben a little smile. She took it from him and took a look at it – or more likely the price.

"Benj, this is a $15 comic," she told him gently.

He looked at her with big, hopeful eyes again. The same ones Brian had gotten about the pressed pennies. "But that's 'reasonable', right? It comes with a collector pin."

"I can see that," Liv allowed. "And it is reasonable. But I want you to be really sure this is what you want. It's only our first morning here. We haven't been over to the Transformer ride yet. Mommy and Daddy are only going to pay for one souvenir. After that – it's your own money, Benji."

He stared at her.

"I know wha I want!" Emmy said and went skipping back over to the stuffie display – her hand reaching for Baby, Big-Headed, Giant-Creepy-Eye Spiderman.

Brian glanced up and caught his little girl's eyes. "No," he said firmly. "Put it back."

Emmy gave him that fake pout that she'd spent six years perfecting. "But it wee-sin-able."

"Put it back," he said again. And then handed Liv's phone back to her. "It won't scan."

Ben stood up on his toes a bit. "Whatcha tryin' to do?"

Liv shook her head and jabbed at the screen again. "We need to scan our tickets to get a time for the Iron Man ride. But it's not reading the barcode," she muttered and then glanced around a bit, likely looking for an Universal employee again for some guidance. Maybe a super hero.

But Ben decided to be the super hero. "Can I try?" he asked and tugged at her phone to see.

Liv let out a little noise but let him take the phone. Ben fiddled with it while her eyes went over to Emmy who was still cradling Spidey all lovingly and looking at them with pathetic eyes.

"You heard Daddy," Liv said. "You aren't getting Spiderman today."

"But it wes-sin-able," Em whined.

"Emily," Liv put to her more firmly. "You can get a Spiderman toy at home. You have Spiderman toys at home."

"Dat an act-in toy! Not a 'tuffie!" she protested.

"You want a Spiderman stuffie, you have your allowance and the special vacation money that Jack gave you."

Emmy lit up at that and came trotting back – now full-on hugging Spidey to her chest. "I buy him!" she said.

Brian exhaled at that and pulled the thing out of her hands and took a look at the tag. He showed it to Liv. It was fifteen bucks. Same as the comic. Wasn't sure which purchase was more ridiculously priced. He was pretty sure the kids could get very similar items at home for five bucks or less.

"That was easy," Ben said and Brian looked at him. Liv gaped at him and tugged the phone back. And stared at the screen.

"He did it," she muttered. "Of course."

The kids regularly made them feel technologically illiterate. And ancient. Or just generally terrified them with how intuitive anything to do with a screen was to them. At least it drove them to get them away from screens as much as possible. More of the whole do stuff and get less stuff thing they tried.

But Ben again took his accomplishment to clutch the comic. "If Emmy's gettin' a toy, can I please get it? It's a book," he tried again.

Brian shook is head, as Liv reached to grab at the lanyard around his neck and scan the ticket there now that Ben had sorted out whatever it was that needed sorting out. He let her do that and instead took the comic from Ben. Both the stuffed toy and the comic claimed now.

"No one's getting anything right now but on Ant Man. OK?" he said and pointed out the door.

"But—" Ben started but Brian gave him the look. The Dad look and the tilt of the head and the kid shut up. Em took a step back toward Liv.

Liv stroked at her hair. "We'll pick your souvenir on our last day," she said. "They'll still be here."

Fucking exit through the gift shop bullshit.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**Yes, I know that some of the stuff referenced isn't at Universal or is at Disney and that Marvel Movie Universe characters are owned by Disney. It's fiction. Just giving Ben and Em and Liv and Brian a fun day.**

**The reader numbers were way down for several of the last chapters. I posted FOUR in one day so you might want to go back. It looked like a lot of people missed chapter 6 and 7.**

**And, yes, if I keep writing there will be a couple Liv and Brian moments, including alone moments, while they are at Universal and the hotel. And other quiet moments and alone moments if I write when they get to Cragen and Eileen.**

**Reviews and comments are appreciated.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

*****5 CHAPTERS PRIOR TO THIS — CHAPTER 5, 6, 7 and 8— WERE POSTED IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS. SO IT WON'T HAVE BUMPED AND MIGHT NOT HAVE ALERTED. PLEASE GO BACK AND READ IT IF YOU MISSED THEM.******

Getting out of the gift shop – definitely a good idea. Diverting and distracting everyone's attention with heading for the Ant-Man: Nano Battle line? That'd been a less spectacular idea. But, for Cassidy, he knew it'd end up there on the list of memories he'd think back-on when it was all-said-and-done. Not so much with the kids – or because of the kids. Because of Liv.

Cassidy wasn't sure how much the kids thought of Ant-Man as one of the Marvel super heroes. Though, supposed the last couple Avengers movies might've shifted that. But Ant-Man wasn't high on the list of Sunday afternoon movie picks in their house. He wasn't even sure if the kids really thought of him as a 'super hero'.

"Did they really need a ride for this?" Liv muttered as they got into the queue.

Brian thought she probably just wanted to focus on ticking off their other priorities. Leave this as an after-thought. Take it or leave it. But, Cassidy sort of figured, they might as well round out their whole Super Hero Island experience since they were there. And – they needed to put in some time until they could hit up the other top priorities. Since they'd fucked up the scheduling.

Liv always said they sucked a 'family planning'. That was likely an understatement. They'd definitely had adventures and missteps and a whole lot of challenges in the whole putting together their mishmash family unit. But the rest of it – 'family planning' – was just a whole lot of them spending a chunk of their adult lives so job focused that they both still struggled to pull back down. They were always on-call – even when they weren't. So it made it hard to 'plan' much of anything. Harder now with Ben's condition and how fucking unpredictable it felt like it could be. That was its own fucking rollercoaster. Sometimes an hour was a fucking rollercoaster with him. Let alone trying to have some sort of day-trip with the kids. Or weekend getaway. Or vacation.

So they didn't really plan. They played shit by ear. They rode by the seat of their pants. They just figured it out and worked it out. And, generally, shit worked out.

He was going to trust that things were still going to work out that day with getting the rest of the super hero activities in. And who the fuck cared if they didn't? They had the five-day tickets. They had a whole lot of leeway to make this shit work.

And Cassidy would much rather put in the time waiting for those headline items for the kids on another ride than looking at more gift shops or listening to people scream on the Hulk or the kids realizing there was junk food all around them that might look as enticing as a fucking ugly plush Spiderman.

The ride didn't sound that enticing but the kids were pretty stoked to get to go into the S.H.I.E.L.D. Laboratory. Because – science. It was another tour gone horribly wrong shtick. Cassidy had the feeling they'd be encountering a whole lot of that for any rides they got on beyond Super Hero Island. A little lame.

But the kids were liking it. They got to move through the Secure Storage Vault that contained a ton of weaponry and high tech artifacts' from the Marvel universe. It was fun to look at. Movie-prop quality even if it wasn't the 'real' thing.

The kids were expected to go through the lab rooms where 'real scientists' worked. Them saying that was likely a sign that they needed to get them somewhere that 'real scientists' actually worked on that trip. Like an aquarium or the Kennedy Space Center or something that wasn't a fucking theme park.

One of Ant-Man's damaged helmets was on display like it was being refribuished at one of the work stations. But all the equipment hooked up and taking readings from the treasures from Asgard and Captian America's shield were the biggest hits. But there were weapons – including their high-tech suits – used by Hawkeye and Black Widow and Vision too. Though, the kids were more taken with spotting the little hints about Bruce Banner and Tony Stark's visits and potential work in the building.

Panels and screens were everywhere showing off the science and research and experiments supposedly being conducted in the lab. The one room had a panel showing times all around the world and across the Marvel Universe – including Wakanda. Em spotted that one all on her own.

Fuck. Her reading and phonetics and vocabulary were getting good. Brian would admit sometimes it real fucking intimidated him. Like figuring out how to be a dad and a dad to a daughter and a dad to a sick kid and a dad to kids coming from trauma wasn't hard enough. He had to be a dad to this kid who he was pretty fucking sure would be smarter than him by the time she was about twelve years old. He had no doubt that that fall she'd be hoarding the bedtime novels away so she could read ahead of the rest of them. And how do you parent that?

Was about the next room that they started catching glimpses of Ant-Man and the Wasp. And they didn't come bearing good news. Apparently Hydra was moving in to attack the city to attack the Arc Reactor at Stark Tower. Ant-Man and the Wasp needed to protect it all from the evil artificial intelligence Armin Zola, which has sent an army of Swarmbots in an attempt to steal the Data Core. And Ant-Man – shockingly – needs their help.

"I think I slept through this movie," Liv leaned in to whisper as they listened to the spiel on the screen. "The only words I've recognized so far are Stark Tower."

He gave her a smile. "Going to sleep through the ride? Or just talk through it?"

She just nudged her shoulder against his for that quip.

"This is very important information," he told her. "About our mission."

Liv rolled her eyes. But she did manage to smile as the kids lit up realizing that it was a high-tech shoot-em up ride. Or maybe because the kids fought over who got to ride with Mommy in the two-seater 'DAG-R combat vehicles'.

It eventually ended up Liv and Ben in one and him and Em in the next. That was usually their pretty standard grouping in their divide-and-conquer outings with the kids.

Em was already pulling at the trigger of the EMP Blaster in their vehicle before they even out of the loading area. And she even more quickly discovered the joystick to twist and turn and spin the vehicle around. Fantastic. They ended up facing Liv and Ben before they even got beyond the moving side walk and onto the ride track.

"Hello," Liv allowed as they jerked around to face each other.

Ben grinned and held up the laser – pointing it in there direction. "Say hello to my little friend," he in-toned (from a movie he'd never seen).

He was so his mom with his humor and one-liners. The little quips. Liv had more than rubbed off on that kid. There was so much of her in him. Drove him crazy that way.

And worked at doing it right then too. Big Man went and fired his laser their way teasingly.

"BEN-GEE!" Ducky chastised. "You NEVER-EVER-EVER point guns at pep-peel! 'Specially Daddy! He a cop! And he's been shot dead!"

Ben didn't give a shit. He fired away. And he must've struck something on their vehicle – an alarm went off and it jerked side to side and then spun around. Only for a moment – because Em manoeuvred them right back to facing her mom and brother before their violent spin had even stopped.

"BEN-GEE!" his sister shrieked at him.

"Gotcha!" Ben smiled big time.

"BEN-GEE!" Ducky said so angrily and condescendingly all the same time. Sometimes Little Duck could be a real mother hen. "It not funny!"

Liv looked a lot happier about the ride at that point too. And pretty comfortable and confident with the blaster in her hand. "But this is," she said and fired off some more laser beams in their direction. Sirens blared and their cart whirled like a tornado - Em doing a real scream whine of 'Mooooooommmmieee!' all the way around - until they were staring each other in the face again. Brian in a pretty wide-mouthed gape - because he thought he might hurl.

"You're in trouble," she mouthed. Over-competitive much.

"We just got a lot of points for that," Ben provided way too cheerily. And then shot right at them again – sending them spinning around again.

"Daddy," Em gaped at him. "Youz got shot again! They shooting you!"

"Just what I need," Brian agreed, stroking at her hair. "More hits to my heart from the ones I love most."

"I love you mostest, Daddy," she said.

"Then you better help me fight back," he nodded at her. "Mommy and Big Man can't win. OK?"

It'd been worth the try. But it didn't help. Well it helped briefly. They must've been in a holding pattern as they got jettisoned into the first section of the ride. Em wasn't immediately able to spin them back around – not for lack of trying.

"Fire your laser gun, Ducky," Brian tried to encourage her. Because the look on Liz's face – the smugness – had said it all before they'd spun out – she was in competition mode. And so was Ben. Bragging rights were on the line for this.

But the ride itself wasn't exactly anything that special after having just got off Spiderman.

It was a dark ride on a track. The general gist of it was that you'd been shrunk down to help Ant-Man and the Wasp kill off the Swarmbots. Hence the laser blasters. But you were basically just slowly creeping through what looked like some sort of soldered motherboard. More likely a nano-chip – hence the ride's name.

It wasn't bad themeing. It just wasn't 4K Ultra High Def IMAX screens towering around you on all sides. It really felt like Universal had like retro fit some track and vehicles they had kicking around from some other ride just to get something else in the area to cash in on the super hero bandwagon and the cash cow that was pulling it.

The real fun of the ride was more wrapped up in spotting the Swarmbots in the scenery and blasting at them to deactive them – and to collect points. Only that's more than a bit of a challenge when you're riding with a six-year-old who was way more interested in treating the ride like a liner version of teacups than target practice. They were jerking from side-to-side and around constantly.

Cassidy was finding it hard to keep his weapon aimed at any of the targets long enough to be able to kill off the Swarmbots. They weren't one-hit wonders. You had to hit those fucker multiple times to get them to die-off.

"Em, you've gotta keep us pointed at the Swarmbots," he tried again, pointing at them and grabbing at her gun to point its laser beam for her in the right direction. But she was preoccupied. She was all about being the driver. That pretty much was their daily family life too. Their boss, strong-willed little girl. Always doing it her way.

And her way for the Nano Battle seemed to be to steer them them right back around to face Liv and Big Man over and over again.

"There's Swarmbots on your ride," Ben would say and fire at them. Him and Liv both. Until they did hit and kill-off the things. And then it would sent his and Em's cart just lurching and twirling. Emmy was loving that – shrieking with glee and working to navigate the vehicle to get turned right back around so they could go for a ride again. Cassidy, meanwhile, was starting to feel pretty motion sick – AGAIN.

"Looking a little green around the gills, Bri," Liv deadpanned at him.

"Wonder why," he said.

"Likely swallowed a Swarmbot," Ben provided.

"Uh-oh," Liv said giving Ben a look. She'd like his joke. Peas in a pod there.

"And Hydra's got his tongue," Ben teased. And the joint firing squad started up again.

Brian tried to get squared up with the Swarmbot swarm above her and Ben's heads. But he was pretty sure it was a two-person job to get the targets on the ride vehicles to deactivate and Em wasn't being much help.

If that wasn't bad enough, some of Hydra's army kept getting the better of them too and were sending their cart in a full-on twirl. That was really way too close to teacups for Brian's liking. It was almost worse in the dark with the multi-colored lights – and nothing much else to focus on – swirling around him.

They finally got to the CPU – admitting a whole lot of heat, just as you'd expect from a computer - and Ant-Man gazed down at them from a grate.

"You got your EMPs to full power," he said. Brian really doubted him and Em had achieved that. "You've got to destroy the core before it's too late."

"Fire there, Ducky," Brian encouraged, pointing at the giant – nearly unmissable – structure in front of them. All the carts were being directed toward the thing in a team effort.

Yea. That did a whole lot of good. She still spun them – giggling all the way. When they jerked back around, he helped her get her laser aimed.

"Hold the trigger," he encouraged.

"Daddy, spinning is funner," she said.

"We need to help Ant-Man," he tried.

She huffed a little – but apparently helping Ant-Man was way more motivating than helping him on any of the ride up to that point. Or maybe she was a little pissed off that he'd grabbed her laser gun and was double-fisting it to try to get them some damn points. He didn't want to think about what Liv and Big Man must have. The number on their screen was sort of ridiculous when he was sure they were hitting next to nothing. He was pretty sure that Liv and Ben were hitting - oh, pretty much everything. And had from the sounds going off behind them - he was also pretty sure they were finding some bonus points and power-ups. Em tugged the blaster back from him and started aimlessly directing it all over the damn room. About everywhere but the GIANT CPU Data Core that was taking up the entire center of it.

"That's it!" Ant-Man called from above them. "Now press the Subatomic Themonuclear Detonator!"

And a giant red button – that had been unseen up to that point – lit up in front of them.

"BUTT-IN!" Em cheered. Finally something she wanted to do that wasn't vomit inducing.

Her hand smacked down on it. And that only worked so well because that whole radiant heat feeling in the room suddenly upped to full-on explosion – with the thunderous sound and theatric smoke to go with it. And their cart – and everyone else's around them – spun completely out of control.

They emerged from the smoke to find Ant-Man greeting them. Him and Emmy got told: "That was Cosmically Average for you to think you want to suit up for the Avengers. You better get in some more practice before you putting in your application at SHIELD." Not that Em cared but he could hear that Liv and Big Man got: "There's our new Galactic Defenders. I knew we didn't have to call in Star Lord. Come back on Wednesday, we'll get you suited up."

"What'd you get?" was the first thing Ben said to him as he trotted down the moving sidewalk in the deboarding area.

"Like a billion," Emmy provided on their behalf. "It was sooooo fun!"

But Liv took the opportunity to glance at the panel in their car as she caught up to him. She nudged his shoulder with hers.

"Twenty-four thousand, Bri?"

Ben gave him a look. "We got ninety."

He gave Liv a look. "There was a problem with our driver."

She allowed an amused noise. "Really? That was the problem?"

And he gave her a firmer look. "Alright, Hot Shot – you want to go again?"

Liv grinned and shrugged as they walked around. "Any place. Any time."

"NOW?!" Emmy suggested. "Ant-Man's ride way better then Storm's ride!"

"Oh, we're definitely doing it again," Liv teased, looking right at him. There was some defiance and a challenge to it. They both knew Liv was a better shot than him.

But he just shrugged at her. "We're switching drivers," he said and looped right back to get into the line again.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**Still looks like the majority of you missed chapter 6 and chapter 7. You might want to check.**

**Thanks for reading. And reviewing.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

*****5 CHAPTERS PRIOR TO THIS — CHAPTER 5, 6, 7 and 8— WERE POSTED IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS. SO IT WON'T HAVE BUMPED AND MIGHT NOT HAVE ALERTED. PLEASE GO BACK AND READ IT IF YOU MISSED THEM.******

It'd been another predictable outcome. Brian had gone back into the Ant-Man ride with the full expectation that Liv would still kick his ass. It was a given. She'd pulled – and shot – her weapon a whole lot more over her career than him. With the kill shots and the recertification process and mandatory pysch reviews in her jacket to prove it. But Cassidy still had hoped he'd improve his standings a bit with Ben at the wheel for their car – and Em steering Liv astray.

Hadn't quite worked out that way, though. Em's dosey-doe of the DAG-R cart – and Liv's lose of Ben as a partner – definitely impacted the overall score. But him and Big Man still hadn't bested her. Though, at least his standings were considerably improved. Not improved enough for Liv to not keep jibbing at him, though. She'd make sure to point out that loss until death did them part. She was matrimonies that way.

And her fucking competitive streak was definitely another thing that had rubbed off on the kiddos. Wandering over to the whole Cartoonist's Academy thing, the kids had spotted there was a climbing wall set up. A real urban on done up to look like an alley of a New York City – sorry Metropolis – street. Spiderman right up at the top hanging off a balcony. Rather than a bell to ring, the climbers were scurrying up the wall to slap Spidey's hand and it was setting off a spray of webbing – AKA water – down onto the onlookers.

So obviously the kids wanted to do that. And obviously before they'd even gotten to the front of the line they'd decided it was a race to see who could get up to Spidey first.

Ben seemed pretty confident that he would. Seemed reasonable. He still had some height and strength on Em. But both the kids loved the whole rock climbing, parkour, Ninja Warrior stuff. And both had just come out of summer camp that let them improve on all that shit. So, honestly, compared to the sort of courses he'd seen the kids take on over at the sports plex – this looked pretty basic, even if it was eye-catching themeing again.

And, actually, the themeing making it look like a brick wall between two buildings? Fire escapes? Window ledged? Potted plants? Fire alarms? Store front canopies and grates? Likely not the best choice for their kids. Likely was only going to put ideas their heads. And, really, the kids climbed the fucking walls enough in the back of their garden lot.

Fuck. Brian loved having that 'garden' – as small and cramped as it was. Smaller and more cramped with two kids and all their junk and Liv's attempts at making it an actual garden and an actual patio. And his attempts to make it a place – and space – for the kids to actually do some of their sports and outdoor shit. Basketball. Street hockey. Kick a soccer ball around. Some sand and dirt to dig in. A hose. Water guns. Basically a fucking suburban oasis in their Brooklyn square footage. But their neighbors did NOT love having kids in the back lot next to them.

The cranky old fucks on the one side of them were constantly complaining. It was like they'd never heard a basketball bounce before or the pure glee of a brother and sister kicking balls at each others heads and making dirt volcanoes erupt while flooding out their Mom's flowers.

So, yeah, likely didn't literally need them trying to climb the walls between the row houses. But might be fun. Until someone got hurt. Or he had to fucking have it out with the old bugger again. Old neighborhood type. Italian. Fucking Mother Mary in his garden out front. Likely a whole lot of vine tomatoes growing in his back. Apparently the sounds of children were disturbing the growth of the plants. Or some shit.

And using the grill? Apparently that smoked too much and always smelled like 'the house is on fire'. Seriously, guy? Fuck off. The ass-hat would stand in the back lot and cough like he was hacking up a lung like he was in the middle of a forest fire or some shit – ever fucking time Brian tried to cook anything. And that's real appetizing listen to that epidemic waiting to happen next door while you're trying to make your family a meal.

One time the fucker literally called the fire department on them. Now that was a thrill for Big Man. Almost made it funny. Ben had been out there wanting to look at everything on the truck. Following the guys around while they did their little safety and wellness inspection of the grill. Was almost sure Ben might've written it up as the highlight of his summer if they hadn't gotten on this trip. But it's also just mostly pissed Brian off.

Not mostly. It entirely pissed Brian off. It was going to be a showdown of if this ass-hat would die off before the kids hit eighteen and moved out. Who was going to win? There. Another fucking competition.

Liv had decided she was going to go up with the kids. But she was good at that kind of stuff. She'd had an interest for years. She'd gotten Jack into it. Still went with him sometimes too. Took the kids over to some of the open climbs and open gym stuff for all these 'sports'. Just wasn't really Brian's thing. Not that he'd actually tried it. But also didn't think right now was the time or place to try it.

"I'll hold the stuff," he said, sticking out his arm to claim the SLR camera she'd been toting around all morning. "Take some shots."

"That will be a flattering angle," she raised an eyebrow at him.

He made a minor amused noise and took the camera with enough grip to twist her hips just a bit. Purposely gave her ass a look and looked her in the eye.

"Looking good," he provided.

She gave her eyes a bit of a roll and her head a bit of a shake but moved away to go and get into the harness with the kids.

It was a tease – but it was truth. He was still pretty happy with the woman he'd ended up with. Didn't have any problems with Liv being where his dick would be stopping for the rest of his days. Reality was he'd pretty much clued into that if that scenario ever did change – he wasn't sure his dick would work for him in any kind of enjoyable way.

And he'd always been more interested in Liv's ass than her chest. Not that he'd said that – but pretty sure she knew. Fuck with the jean shorts she had on that day – she must've more than known. It was a fucking tease. Shorts and tanks, swim gear, sundresses? This was going to be a long, dry couple weeks. He – and his balls - were already feeling it. Though when he'd said anything to Liv about it, she'd made clear that, "The only one cutting you off, Brian, is you." So, yeah. Message clear: Get over yourself, accept the limitation and adjustments and post-haste factor and it didn't have to be a long, dry couple weeks. But still wasn't sure that would happen. Maybe watching her from this angle would change his perspective on that.

Though, Liv hadn't gone up right away. Had been watching the kids from the ground too – like the staff wasn't enough to keep the kids safe. That was pretty par for the course with Liv too. She'd given the staff a bit of lip too when they'd tried to send Ducky up the clearly easiest route. The kid would've been all of maybe six feet up before she couldn't just grabbed a fire escape ladder and clambered right up. Not much fun there after the wait. Apparently Liv was frightening and forceful enough that they'd strapped Em in for a different route. Big Man got locked in for the route at the opposite end of the wall.

Brian didn't even do the whole grappling thing – but he could see it was likely the hardest of the collection. Over-confidence much, Big Man?

There was a pull-down store front security grille for the first about ten feet of the climb and then not a whole lot of obvious footholds or grips for the rest of it. At least not obvious ones. It was definitely the parkour, urban adventure way of climbing. He'd definitely need to be grabbing at signs and fire alarm boxes and window ledges and air vents and flower pots and light fixtures to make his way up.

But it definitely had been over-confidence. Or maybe a whole lot of self-consciousness when they were waiting in a line and on display to a whole lot of strangers? But Ben had basically managed to curl his fingers around the grille links and get to the top of the security gate but then was acting all kinds of stuck. He hung there trying to figure out where to go next for so long that Em had already scrambling right up her ropes like she was Spider Girl – had met Spidey, given him the high five, sent the webs spraying (and cooling off) all the onlookers and then rappelled back down.

"Ben-gee, I beat you," she said proudly. Maybe a little too proudly. There was some smugness to it.

Liv had hushed her. That had only helped so much when the one attendant had brought off some little plastic bracelets for Em to pick out of a bucket. She eagerly picked the yellow one and called over, "Daddy, it say I a super hero. Ben-gee! I super hero!"

Ben had glanced over his shoulder to take a look at her – and the held up prize. But it only caused his curled toes to slip a bit. The poor kid had made a little sound and ran his feet against the low-ridged metal trying to find a grip again. He scrunched up his body and looked down at his mom.

"I can't do it," he murmured at her.

Liv had moved closer to the wall and looked up at him. She pointed up to the signage above the grille. "You can. You're going to jump and reach – and grab right there."

He shook his head hard.

"Benji," she nodded at him patiently, keeping his eyes. "You aren't high. You've done maneuvers way, way harder than this, Little Fox. You're going to need to trust yourself – and just push off really hard."

"I can show you, Ben-Gee," Em said, nudging up to their mom and pointing too. "Dat where you go next."

Liv shook her head. "Ducky, Mommy's helping Benji. You need to give us some space."

She caught his eyes and Brian gestured for her. "Em," he called. "If you aren't going a different line, come here."

Em huffed at him and pointed to the ladder route – that would take her all of thirty seconds. "I'll do dat one."

Yea. OK. Fine. Whatever. The staff got her strapped in and she was back up the wall like a shot. Doing some showing off too – dangling from the rungs.

"My legs hurt," Ben whined at his mom now that Em was out of sight.

"I know," Liv said. And that's when Brian knew that Liv had been picking up on some extra body language out of Ben. She wasn't doing the wall climb for kicks – she'd likely suspected this could happen. "But, you can push through it, Benj. You can do this."

"But I'm not gonna be able to push off hard enough," he told her.

"OK," Liv said and looked back at the attendants. "I'm going up," she informed them.

Brian worked at keeping his line of sight split between them and Em. She really was just goofing off now. She was likely up there waiting for her brother to make it to the top. Right now she was dangling off the side of the ladder, trying to look into the flower pots on one of the window sills.

Liv easily got up to Benji's level using the rope next to the routing he'd picked. She walked across the wall with her feet so she was hanging next to the upper corner of the security grill.

"Benj," she mouthed at him. "What don't we do in this family?"

Ben kept adjusting his legs, scrunching them up more and more in trying to find his foothold. "Give up," he whispered.

Liv nodded at him. "We don't give up," she said. "Mommy hasn't given up. Daddy hasn't given up. Not when we were hurting or scared or sick. Right? You push through. It's something you're going to have to do lots and lots in life. I know you're hurting a bit. But you wanted to do this. And I know you can do this. You just need to push hard – jump and grab right here." She pointed again.

Ben stared at her. And she stared right back at him.

"You can do this," she assured him again. "No giving up."

Liv was such a good mom to the kids. Just so fucking good. Brian knew she had a lot of times she worried she wasn't good enough. Fuck – some of the whatever the fucking conflict her and Amanda were having lately – definitely had Liv coming home sometimes feeling like … she was fucking lesser in some way. But just fuck that. She was so good with the kids. Ben and Em were so lucky to have her. And Brian made sure to tell her that too. All of them were lucky she was a part of their lives. She was a good mom.

Ben still hesitated for a long beat. Brian thought there was still a chance he might just let go and drop back to the ground. Call it. But he didn't – not with his mom right there being his cheerleader.

His feet scrambled again but then his toes curled firm and that leap was made – his arms stretching out and his hands managing to snag the sign and pull himself up to the next foothold.

"Good," Liv said and examined the route around her.

"There," Ben told her – pointing to a brick that was sticking out.

"Thank you," she allowed and maneuvered to get herself up there.

And it went like that – all the way up. Liv spotting for Ben and helping guide him through his route and him returning the favor whether or not Liv actually needed it. But you could just see Ben's confidence grow more and more. Him moving faster and faster between the obstacles and needing Liv's help less and less – until he finally got up to the top to meet his sister and Spiderman.

"Wait for Mom," he informed Em – halting their group high-five so they could all set off the webs together.


	12. Chapter 12

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

*****TWO CHAPTERS WERE POSTED TODAY. CHECK TO MAKE SURE YOU DIDN'T MISS CHAPTER 11*****

Brian seriously felt like sometimes Liv's parenting just put him to shame. She just went about it all differently than him. Connected with the kids in a different way than him. Sometimes she was way stricter and way more uptight than him. And other times she was just … a fucking goofball with the kids.

But Cassidy loved that about her. Or about her as a mom. It was this other side of her that he'd got to meet and learn about in this time around of their attempt at a relationship. Their very official, committed relationship now. Still surreal.

He'd had guys tell him that dating a woman with kids was a shitty idea. Other guys who said that kids killed the relationship with your woman. Other guys that said he was fucking nuts to date a lady cop. That pretty much he was going to have his balls crushed and in a vice for as long as he attempted any of that. Then he'd had the other whispers – about him being with Liv. Like her being a cop – especially an SVU cop – said something about the kind of woman she was. About her sexuality. That she must be a lesbian. Or at least a man hater. The added whispers since some of his shit made it to the rumor mill that year. Queer. Faggot. He'd heard it. Like he'd made some kind of decision as an eleven year old kid – acted in some way like he wanted to be molested, touched, sucked off by an adult man. The suggestion that him and Liv were always just covering for each other with the job and political correctness the way it was. Each other's beards and queers.

Had had to deal with a whole lot of anger about all that. But he'd also just … called bullshit on any of it. All of it.

Liv was the love of his life. These kids were the best thing that had ever happened to him. About the best thing he'd ever done. He didn't care that sometimes he played second – or even third – fiddle in Liv's priorities. Fuck that. Sometimes he had shit going on at work or shit going on with the kids that had him placing other needs before her too. Though, that was something they were working at getting way more in sync on. They'd made progress. And he wouldn't trade all the missteps and fucking gut punches they'd had.

It was funny. Sometimes it got confusing for him. He knew who and what Liv was as a cop. He knew her as a friend and as a lover. And he got treated differently depending on the side he was getting there too. And he also saw her as just a mom. Sometimes he didn't think the kids fully got to see the other sides of her. Sure there was Good Cop Mom and Bad Cop Mom. Mom could be strict and could be scary. But she also kissed boo-boos and tucked them in at night and danced with Em in the aisles at the fucking Guardians of the Galaxy Awesome Mix Tape show. She fucking shimmy and shaked – that ass – and worked at getting him and Ben to dance too.

"There are two types of beings in the universe," Ben had quoted in complete Drax deadpan to her. "Those who dance, and those who do not dance."

And, fucking Liv, she'd known exactly what scene he was quoting. Liv who just watched fucking artsy, artsy crap and artsy, artsy music and went to artsy, artsy galleries before the kids. But she'd said, "Come be pathetic with me." And pulled up their kiddo from the bench and pulled his arms in movements with the music of Hooked on a Feeling. And Big Man couldn't help but smile. He smiled enough that Brian had let himself stand up and offered his arm for Liv and Em to do a twirl around in during Come and Get Your Love – Liv teasingly beaconing at Cassidy while she managed some pretty bad dance moves that betrayed just how many times she'd seen the opening sequence of Star Lord doing his shimmy and shake too. She had the dance down. And the shared silliness – had been enough that Ben had let himself lean against the bench in front of them and complete belt out the Queen song that came on – including some little boy head-banging. How Freddie Mercury equated to head-banging in their kid, he didn't know. But Ben still pulled it off. And shared the hair whips (that he didn't remotely have these days) with his Mom next to him.

Liv's Mom-ness when she let her hair down with the kids. Brian liked seeing it. Loved it. Love the way she griped at both the kids – an arm around each of them on either side of her, pulled tight against her – as they left that show. And then after all the Mom-son teasing between her and Ben, she'd huddled just as closely with Bg Man as she watched his concentrated efforts in the Cartoonist's Academy. Encouraging him and being amazed by him. That was just every day with kids. Brian did that a lot too. Just staring too at the family they'd created. These kids they got – through good times and bad. But who were absolutely, undeniably theirs.

"It our turn!" Em cheered from her excited little dance as they finally got called up to meet Spiderman. She was over to the guy like a shot but Big Man still hung back – still clutching that drawing that he'd just brought from their Cartoonist's Academy session in the hopes of getting Spiderman to sign.

Em looked back at her brother, measuring him. "Ben-gee. It our turn."

Ben just took a shy step forward. Brian gave his shoulder a squeeze.

"Are you going to get your picture taken and ask him to sign your drawing, Benj?" Liv asked.

He gave her a timid look and inched forward a bit more.

And that was enough for Em. That was the … magic of siblings, Brian thought. To Em, Ben was just Ben. All these labels her brother had – it didn't mean shit. Ben was just Ben. It's the way she always knew him. No better or worse. No more or lesser. Just her big brother and her own hero. Someone she so wanted to keep up with. Someone she wanted to be just like. But as much his advocate and protector as Ben was to his Little Duck.

"'PID-ER-MAN, I Emmy. Dat Ben-gee," Em provided introductions on both their behalves. "He my bubba. Some time he shy. But he just like you. Almost. He more like Miles doh. 'Cuz he a good draw-er too. And he goin' to Math and Science school too. 'Cuz he the smart-ist. He WON FIRST PLACE in da science fair! And we live in BOOK-LYN too! We a-dot-it kinda like you. But not by our auntie. Just by Mommy and Daddy," she added and pointed their way. "Dat more like you. But Mommy and Daddy poll-ease like Miles dad."

"Whoa!" Spiderman provided her after that spiel. "Brooklyn and Science School and cops for parents?" He crouched down and whispered closer to Em's ear, "Are you guys actually Spider Girl and Arachn-Kid? Did Tony send you?"

Em shook her head. "Noooo," she sighed. "We just Emmy and Ben-gee. But you our fav-it super hero always EVER! Ben-gee want your auto-gah-fft."

Em looked back at him and made a huge gesture with her head like he was supposed to come over.

"Hey, man," Spiderman said. "Is that one of your drawings? I'd love to see it."

Ben still hesitated but then crept forward. He held out the sketch for the Spiderman.

"Whoa, man," Spidey said taking it and admiring the sketch of his head. It was another thing Benji had become even better at that summer – art camp had really brought into focus how much talent was under the surface in that kid. Some coaching and training and the right tools – and it wasn't just going to be hockey that this kid was killer at. "Did you spot your friendly neighborhood Spiderman around here or something?"

"It's you," Ben said quietly, a little nervously.

"Wait! No way?" Spiderman said teasingly and looked at it again. "Are you submitting this to the Daily Bugle or something?"

Ben shook his head and wrung at his hands. "No," he said again. "I'm just gonna take it home. But … can you sign it?"

"Can I ever," Spiderman said. A worker brought a Sharpie over for him and Spiderman nudged Ben around – scrawling his name across the paper, using Ben's shoulder as an easel. "Amazing," Spidey said as he handed the piece of paper back to Ben. Big Man just glowed at it.

"OK," Spiderman said. "You know, I try to like avoid getting too many pictures taken. You know like not wanting fame to go to my head. Or you know like my secret identity to leak out."

"You Peter Parker," Em stated way too confidently.

"Shhhhhh!" Spiderman slapped his finger up to around where his mouth would be. "I don't go telling people you're Spider Girl and Arachn-Kid, do I?"

"We still just Emmy and Ben-gee."

Spiderman gave them both a little wink. "Right, right," he agreed and nudged them around to face the camera. "So like I was saying, going to make an exception with the whole no photos thing. But you know, even though you're just Emmy and Benji – you know, let's like shoot those webs for the camera."

He demonstrated the hand and finger gesture for them and the kids matched it. Matched it and glowed like about a thousand incandescent light bulbs.

And Liv leaned into him. "We're getting that photo," she said.

And, yea, fucking right they were – of their Super Kids. He fucking loved his family. He fucking loved this day. This moment. This life he'd somehow fucking got. Blew his mind. And really fucking blew up his heart – every day of his life. Seven years and counting.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**A chapter was posted earlier today. You might want to go back and make sure you didn't miss CHAPTER 11.**

**That's it for Brian's POV. I'm going to do a couple from Liv's POV now, including some reference to alone time and moments between her and Brian and Brian's birthday. Depending on how I feel about the story and the readership numbers, etc. I might do a few chapters of them at Cragen and Eileen's after that.**

**Thanks for reading. Your review and comments are appreciated.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

Olivia nudged into Brian's side – fully intending to wrap her arms around him in a loose hug. But he'd been so transfixed on the panel he was reading, he mustn't have felt or heard her movement behind him – and he tensed at the intrusion.

"It's just me," Olivia whispered against his shoulder before he even fully turned to look at her. Or more likely it would've been a glare at whoever he thought had bumped into him – and his personal space.

The stiffness at her pressing into his personal space – her words and sound of her voice – slowly seeped out of him now, though. She still felt it ripple through him – and her. But it worked at disappearing. He worked at letting that wall down – again.

Olivia knew it was a struggle for Brian every day. She appreciated that. It was for her too. It had been for her for so many years. It had been so much worse since Lewis. So different. An added layer to the onion – and the unpacking – of her own trauma. And now with Brian and his baggage? She'd become so much more aware of the fact he wasn't just reacting to her body language. He had his own years and years of self-protection and preservation ingrained in him too. Tension that had just become a part of him.

He gave her a small glace, as she settled against him a bit more. His skin felt almost goose-fleshed in the intense air conditioning of the Iron Man Experience 'queue'. Though, they'd definitely been in there way more than the projected 40 minutes that this 'experience' inside Stark Industries took.

Olivia would give that the line holding areas at Universal were impressive. They were intricate and immersive. They were far more visually astounding – and even much more engaging – than anything she remembered going through at Disneyland with Benji and Jack those years ago. She wouldn't argue that the lines themselves were definitely part of the attraction – but she thought purposely labeling them as an 'experience' was a little much.

It was more like they were making you spend forty-minutes waiting in a glorified line when they'd already made you book a time for the time. Or at least you thought you'd booked a time for the ride – it was really more that you'd booked a time to get in line. Even if it was exceptionally well done – it was a line-up.

It really was more like a museum display that you were allowed to move through at your own pace. Every once and a while a door would open allowing your 'tour group' at Stark Industries to pass through to the next section of the line if you were ready. But their family – or rather their kids – had yet to be ready when those doors opened each time.

The first 'hall' of this experience had been very much a museum about the 'legacy' of the Stark family and Iron Man. The Iron Man movies had been on fairly high rotation in their house but she'd still felt like she might've been watching a different movie series. Or really just not paying much attention, which was entirely possible. After the first two or three times of the same movie over and over again, you really start to zone out – or completely multi-task – while the thing is one. The newspaper articles, and blueprints and full-size models of the Gravitic Reversion Engine and the original Arc Reactor and the Mark 1 helmet and armor and the Super Soldier Program (which, Emmy clarified very directly in a 'Mommy, what rock do you live under' way, was from Captain America – not Iron Man) weren't ringing any bells for her. But apparently it was thrilling. Though, she suspected that might've been just because a lot of the displays were much more reminiscent of science center displays and Benji and Emmy were just eating it up.

Olivia counted two groups move on while the kids were transfixed by the displays in the Hall of Energy. It'd been three groups in the Hall of Protection with its interactive screens and mock-up technology you could try on and test out – including a prototype firefighter armor that Benji couldn't decide if it was real or not. Though, he was pretty sure it should be real, if it wasn't real.

Benji was just being pretty funny that day. So many different sides of him were showing themselves. His talents and his fears. His shyness and his complete extroversion with their family. His interests and his insecurities. Her sweet little boy. The special big brother to his Little Duck.

Olivia had really enjoyed watching Benji that day. He'd had some challenging moments and she could tell the humidity in the air – and the in-and-out of air conditioning – had his joints aching. She'd sat next to him during the Cartoonist's Academy and in the quiet room – with his so concentrated gaze and efforts – she could hear and feel that the weather was catching in his lungs too. He was pushing himself. But he was also having moments where he was shining. She was so nervous – and hopeful – that him starting middle school would give him more of those opportunities. To be challenged and to shine with his own strange little set of quirks and talents and insights and interests. The way he could get so transfixed on things.

Like the imaginary technology and history on display in this queue.

Olivia was pretty sure they were spending about double the amount of time as most people did getting through the line. And for what? A ride that she was sure was just going to be more screens and moving seats. Olivia was getting the sense that was a lot of what Universal way. Rollercoasters and 3D screens. It wasn't bad – it was just very different than the rides and shows she'd done at Disneyland. But Benji was a little boy then. Benji and Emmy – and Brian (no matter how much he was trying to project it was all for the kids and how much Daddy Labor he was doing in helping the day move along smoothly) – seemed to be loving this just as much. Eating it all up. Their day playing super heroes.

Playing super hero was at a whole new level right now.

They'd entered the Hall of Armor and the kids had initially been transfixed by the many, numerous Iron Man suits. It was another thing that Olivia never really understood. How many suits did one super hero need? It was like all the Spiderman suits.

They had so many Spiderman action figures around their house – all in a different outfit. Apparently they were "waaaaay more different than that!" She didn't invest a lot of time in understanding the differences or being able to identify which Spiderman was which based on his (or her – they did own some combination of Spider Woman and Spider Girl and Spider Gwen too, which she thought were all different people but wasn't 100 per cent sure) outfit. The same went for Transformers. Apparently these robots transformed into many, many, many different cars and planes and helicopters and boats and tanks – and dinosaurs.

It was all just marketing. And commercialism. Children were a cash cow …

It'd been when Benji was collecting his third set of Rescue Bot characters that she'd adopted the whole action figures were something you asked Santa for or got from your siblings for your birthday. It'd also been around the time she started giving Benji an allowance. Though, even at six he'd quickly realized that spending his allowance to get yet another Heatwave when it seemed like a new one was being released every six months (maybe more like every three) was a little stupid. Of course, they'd still had … likely about five … Heatwaves in the house before he decided that. She didn't want to think about how many variations of Optimus Prime and Bumblebee they had in the house … and she absolutely was not going to be surprised if they ended up with yet another variation of one of those characters before this trip was over.

If herding the kids through the gift shops in super hero land had been an annoyance she didn't want to think about when they got over to Transformers. Though, that was just a ride – not a whole land. Hopefully that would make the 'no' factor easier.

Entering the Hall of Armor, Emmy had been especially transfixed by the Hulkbuster mech suit that was taking up the entire center of the room. It was a Lego set that Olivia was pretty sure if it hadn't been completely forgotten by December had potential to be Emmy's Santa request (but who knew – it was just as likely that Unikitty or a gallon of glue would be all she wanted). But their little girl had a think for these 'buster' mech suits. There was a Spiderman and Venom one too. Just don't ask Olivia what movie they were from. Likely the Avengers? For fighting with Thanos? Maybe.

Olivia thought Emmy's attraction to them was her trying to be the same – but different – from her brother. They were 'robots' too – just like Transformers. But not Transformers. Emmy hadn't been as taken with Transformers as Benji. Though, Benji's fascination had likely had more to do with them being vehicles than them being 'robots'. It was always interesting to watch the sameness and differences in her children. The way they were alike and the way they were so clearly their own little people – with big personalities and very distinct skills and interests. But then there were these ways they tried to mirror each other. Actions and behaviors they adopted. Interests they shared. Quirks and personality traits they'd inherited through learnt behavior.

Apparently Iron Man made regular appearances in the Hall of Armor during this 'experience'. But they had yet to be graced with his presence. Olivia was OK with that, though. As much as the kids did like Iron Man, she really didn't think anything would come close to topping their Spiderman encounter. She wasn't sure that even the Transformers meet-and-greet would compare. She didn't think anything could compete with the cuteness factor of the kids and their favorite super hero.

Though, it was possible that if Brian glowed with pure joy as much as Benji and Emily had meeting Spiderman when they got over to the Transformers – that just maybe it would be comparable. And worth dropping another wad of cash on for the photo. It'd be worth it just to show Janet – or to tuck away and give Janet later. Her adult son with his childhood super heroes? There was something to be said for that – as a mother. Janet would love it. Brian would be less than impressed. But sometimes he just needed to relax.

"What are we staring at?" she asked, trying to see what was just so interesting about the little models of Iron Man vehicles – Iron Wings - that were on display with a whole lot of screens showing technical schematics that Brian seemed to have become fixated on. While the rest of the family had moved on – he was still staring at the mock-ups of these allegedly passenger-sized Iron Man armors.

Olivia just really wasn't very good at suspending disbelief when it came to this super hero stuff. She tried – for the kids' sake. And for Brian's. It'd really been something for him to use as a bounding moment with the kids. He needed that – deserved it. Just like he deserved this day. The time and the experience and the memories. And, though, he'd very much been Brian a lot of the day – showing as little emotion as possible and very much in Daddy Mode, over-protective and trying to take care of everyone but himself – she'd seen his quiet smiles creep out. She was very aware of the little things he was doing for the kids and for her. The quiet, simple, unassuming ways that he really did take care of them. Even when it was intermingled with moments like him glaring so firmly – barking so forcibly – at some man who'd been looking too long at Benji in one of the lines. It'd turned out that he was just taken with Benji's Knicks cap – a City Edition line with a logo that looked far more like the FDNY badge than the Knicks' emblem. But it'd been clear from Brian's reaction that he'd assumed the worst about the man's wandering eyes.

Olivia understood. She had moments like that too. The job did that to you. Brian's personal trauma would make it worse. And she knew they were likely going to be in for a rough few years as Benji moved through the age-frame where Brian was being molested. He would be even more hyper-vigilant than he already was with the kids. He'd project. They'd likely be on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. They were going to have their challenges. She knew that. But she'd signed up. And maybe she hoped having this foundation of family moments and memories would help them get through some of it.

"They're the ride vehicles," Brian rasped a bit at her. He swiped his finger across the screen he was in front of again, still staring at the schematics and accompanying information.

"Mmm …," Olivia allowed a listening sound and again glanced at the five Iron Wings on display; Doc, a red emergency medical drone; Heavyweight, a green construction drone; Mako, a yellow deep-sea drone; Supernova, a black space exploration drone; and Expo, an orange passenger vehicle. She suspected that Little Duck would want to ride the yellow vehicle. Even better that it was a deep-sea vehicle. She'd be on the look-out for narwhals, for sure.

"I think the ride's different depending on the vehicle you're in," Brian muttered some more.

"Mmm …," Olivia more moaned against Brian's shoulder that time and he gave her another glance. "Don't tell them that. This line …"

He made a sound of acknowledgement. "Yea. Probably couldn't get another time slot to get back in here today anyway."

"That's the plan," she mumbled. "They want you to come back."

He shifted a bit in her grip and turned to face her – letting her actually hug him. His arms wrapping around her waist and resting in the small of her back. She rested her cheek against his chest – undisturbed about the public display of affection. They weren't likely to run into anyone they knew here.

"Tired?" he asked.

"Ready for a break," she allowed.

"Yea," he acknowledged.

She could feel in his body that he was too. He'd been hauling around their backpack of medical and kid gear most of the day. And even though Brian was loath to admit when he was in any kind of pain, it'd been clear that summer back home that the humidity had been bothering his joints too. His knees in particular. Though, he argued that it was just the amount of time he'd been putting in playing basketball with the kids and on bikes and scooters and skateboards to park spaces all over the city. He wasn't going to admit that at a day away from 48 it likely had more to do with his age and stage. He did acknowledge, though, that there'd been times that summer that he'd found the air conditioning seemed to make all the surgical scars all over his chest and abdomen deeply ached. So she was sure he was aching and hurting – and ready for a break – at the point in the day too.

"Did you want to cool down on water ride before we head back to the hotel?" she asked.

"The Jurassic Park one?" he put back to her. She just nodded – rubbing her cheek – against him. "We go over to that land and we'll be shutting this place down," he mumbled.

She smiled against him. That was a fair point. As much as their kids understood 'no' – dragging them out of a dinosaur land that had more rides and likely even a bigger selling-point with their kids – a playground, would be a Herculean task that neither Mom or Dad felt much like taking on at that point in the day. They could just throw them in the pool instead. They'd be just as happy on the waterslide there.

Olivia shifted her cheek to go back to staring at the kids. They'd gone into an interactive video game area that was letting them 'try on' Iron Man's suit. Through rather silly body movements they were 'flying' around the universe and blasting at enemy robots. She'd been standing over watching them suit up and that had definitely been a rather cute – photo-worthy – moment. But now Benji and Emily really just looked like they were frantic Fruit Ninjas or tangled marionettes. They were really just flailing all over the place while intermittently tilting forward with their hands turned back out behind them like they were penguins.

She felt Brian turn to look at them too. It seemed to be a choke point in this whole 'experience' queue. It was clear that a lot of other families that had been breezing through had gotten caught up in this area. Olivia saw people who'd passed them some time ago still stuck in the area watching their kids play with the technology.

"What are they doing?" Brian asked – he hadn't gotten over to that little alcove yet.

"Being Iron Man," Olivia provided.

"Right …," he said. She could feel the smile in it against his chest.

They both just stared at them for a bit.

"Think we're the cool parents?" Brian muttered.

Olivia made an amused noise and strained her eyes to look up at him. "I'm pretty sure we're the strict, uptight, old fogey, dinosaur parents that kids, parents and teachers-alike cringe when they see us coming."

Brian shook his head and she felt him gesture a bit to the kids. "This look strict?"

Olivia stared again. "It looks like some of the parents in here need to be stricter," she muttered. She had seen a whole lot of kids that day that looked like they needed some reeling in and discipline. Not that her kids were perfect – far from it. And her and Brian were far from perfect parents – but generally, Benji and Emily seemed to know the rules and boundaries even when if they did test them. Sometimes it felt like a lot of kids didn't have enough of those anymore. But maybe some of that was the area of Brooklyn they were living in.

"What's the coolest thing your mom did with you on summer vacation?" Brian asked.

She rubbed her cheek against him. "Do you really need to ask?" She felt a quiet, sad sound of acknowledgement in his chest. "My grandparents usually took me in a lot for the summer," she allowed. "Upstate." It got another small sound of acknowledgement. "Did you and your mom ever do anything?"

"Not really," he allowed. "But you know her, she tried. The beach. A lot. When I was like nine she must've had a friend who had a beach house rented, got an invite. Remember spending the Fourth out there. Remember the fire, sparklers on the beach."

"Mmm …," she smiled.

"We've done more this summer with the kids than likely my entire childhood," he said.

Olivia allowed a small sound of acknowledgement.

They'd had a busy summer. A nice summer. But none of it had been particularly extravagant. Though, compared to their childhoods, it likely had been. They'd spent a lot of time in Brooklyn Bridge Park. They'd been over to Governor's Island multiple times. They'd gone out to the Rockaways for some beach and boardwalk days, including one where they got out on a whale-watching trip where they'd seen two whales and about a hundred dolphins. They'd been to skateparks and tried out new-to-them playgrounds. They'd had ice cream and been to movies in the parks under the stars and in the theater with buttery popcorn. They'd played endlessly in their little back lot garden and eaten a whole lot of grilled corn and hot dogs and steak and chicken legs. They'd been to the science center (and its science playground and rocket-themed mini putt). They'd had the kids in summer camps and taken them to the library and art classes and the swimming pool at the Y. They'd watched Netflix and done puzzles and played boardgames and worked at reading the Harry Potter novels together as a family.

"I don't want it to be over," she whispered.

"It's not," he said. "We're killing it. Still will in September."

She hoped so – because September seemed so new and scary. And she didn't want this honeymoon period they'd had for the past couple months to fade away into the oblivion of reality. Their reality.


	14. Chapter 14

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

*****RATING CHANGE NOTICE: This chapter contains M elements. It is marked where they start and where they end for those who want to — or who should — skip that section. *****

Olivia saw Brian glance over his shoulder from his apparent sous chef work in the little kitchenette as she came out of the bathroom. He was still all smiles – as all smiles as Brian ever was – and clearly riding the endorphins of their morning time activities.

"Hey, Sunshine …," he smiled at her. A real smile.

She shook her head a little bit at it. But she smiled too. He was doing what she knew – and hated – John called his Yippie Skippy routine. It was a nickname that she really despised John using – especially around the kids. At this point both the kids had inquired why Unkie Munchie called Daddy 'Yippie Skippy'. The answer they'd given the kids was just that 'Unkie Munchie is silly'. The answer John had given the kids was, "Dad's just such a happy guy." Right.

The truth was, Brian was - still as a man in his late-forties – ridiculously obvious about when he got laid. Or at least when it'd been a good one. It just seeped off him. Olivia was sure that there were people at the Investigator's office who were able to measure just what kind of interactions they might have with him on any particular morning based entirely on how much the Yippie Skippy routine caused that bounce in his step.

It certainly was apparent enough to John at work – twenty-some years ago. And Elliot.

And in some ways – not much had changed. Or maybe she had. She thought she hid it better back in her and Brian's initial fling that lead to him wanting more. Now, she absolutely knew from some little comments some mornings that she had her own Yippie Skippy tells too. Though, she liked to think it was more that she often just felt calmer, stabler, happier with Brian. With the kids. With the family life she had at home.

And, she'd give Brian – he had reason to be happy with his performance that morning. She had been too. It was the kind of sex that … 1) She probably would've preferred to play with him quite a bit longer, spanning it to a much longer session than what they'd gotten; 2) She would've liked to just have some cuddle time to enjoy the closeness with him as they both came down – and maybe slept in a bit or just had a bed-in; and, 3) She'd likely be arguing with her body to not think about it too much for the rest of the day while simultaneous plotting ways to absolutely exhaust the kids so they'd be beyond down for the count and her and Bri could get to that extended replay later that night.

Olivia didn't know what Brian had thought she'd stuck her head out the bathroom door and called "Bri …" at him that morning. They hadn't gotten into that. But the look of surprise on his face when he'd gotten in there to find her already stripped for him had more than betrayed that he must've thought he was being asked to look at a faulty outlet or the unfamiliar shower-dongle set-up. But she supposed he had reason not to expect much – even if his usual birthday and Christmas mantra whenever she pressed him on what he might want or need was, "You guys are the gift" and if he decided he was going to be … Brian, there'd be an addition of, "I wouldn't protest getting laid." Always the romantic.

But they'd had a bit of a night. The kids were buzzing with enough excitement that even though they were both clearly exhausted, they'd been up past their usual bedtime – and even summer vacation bedtime. Benji had pushed a little too hard that day. By the time her and Brian were really pushing that the kids lay down, Benji was really cringing about the aches in his knees and legs. Olivia had ended up in the little twin bed in the kids' room, rubbing at this legs for him while trying to get him to drift off – moving the moistened heating pad on and off his joints in intervals. By the time he fall asleep – which she suspected at much to do with the anti-inflammatory kicking in than it did the heat and massage – Brian was looking like the activity and heat of the day had caught up with him too. They'd both nearly collapsed into bed. Neither of them had even attempted to initiate anything.

And that was likely a good thing – because it'd only been a couple hours later that Benji had been back up coughing and coughing so hard that she'd seriously thought they might need to take him over to the local ER to get an x-ray and some oxygen. She'd feared the humidity had been too much and had resulted in some swelling of his lungs' lining. But it was likely more the humidity and then him falling asleep in their heavily air conditioned room. His body hadn't been able to keep up. And Brian had ended up sitting on the couch with him, rubbing and patting at his back until it passed. Though, when it had passed Brian and Benji were both asleep on the couch with the TV still going. At some point Olivia had heard Emmy up – and waking Brian up to escort her to the scary, unfamiliar bathroom to turn on the light for her. She'd vaguely registered that he must've gotten Benji to take his middle of the night pee too and gotten both the kids back into the kids room and their own beds. He'd finally crawled back into the bed with her. But, again, sleep had seemed like a priority. Brian had already indicated before they even left on the trip that his expectations for alone time that included enough privacy for much of anything were exceedingly low.

But Olivia had woken up – not particularly rested – but at her usual time. And the kids must've been exhausted enough from the day before that she hadn't heard any signs of them stirring yet. Brian must've been acutely aware of that too – because he was clearly awake but wasn't on the move yet like he would be at home. He seemed content to be laying there with his eyes semi-closed – not risking waking the kids and having them wanting to be instantly on the go just yet. So Olivia had taken advantage of what she knew was likely going to be a very small window of potential privacy. And when Brian realized that was what they were doing, that look on his face had only lasted for about a beat, though, before he was shucking off his briefs and more than happy to join her.

*****START OF M*****

It'd been fun. There'd likely been layers to that. Shower sex? Hotel sex? Vacation sex? Birthday sex? The increased risk of being caught or interrupted more so than in their daily lives? The perceived limited time frame? Or just the switch up in routine? And the accompanying change in positioning and angles and stimulation it'd created?

Shower sex definitely wasn't in their regular routine at the age and stage in their lives and relationship. Even if a shower or bath made appearances in their intimacy and foreplay routines – it was always easier and more comfortable for the both of them to move to the bed at home. But the bathroom was the only room with a lock on the door here – the only spot with any semblance of ensured privacy.

It'd taken a bit of experimenting to find a position they were both comfortable with. She still had pretty specific hang-ups about the where and how and the personal-comfort criteria if he was going to take her from behind. They'd definitely both made progress there. They'd found ways to make it work – that had actually been really enjoyable. Brian was really good at respecting her boundaries and being aware of them. Listening. Stopping. And finding ways to touch and stimulate her that distracted her from some of her reservations and focus on the moment. Ways to ensure there was lots of intimate, loving, gently contact. That they still saw each other – had moments of eye contact and mouth contact and shared words and breathing – even if they weren't face-to-face. Just reclaiming that part of sex for their relationship had been liberating in its own way. But she hadn't been willing to work on making it work in the shower – while on vacation and while the kids were just outside the door.

Olivia had been pretty comfortable with her back pressed against the wall and her raising her foot on the little step-like bench in the shower stall. It'd been fun – hot – for the foreplay. She'd enjoyed the feel of the hot water and the steam and the cold tiles against her back growing warmer – slippery. Right along with her body and need and sex doing the same.

Brian's skin against hers. His hands and his fingers and the access she'd given him for stroking, stimulation. He was good with his hands. He'd taken the time to learn her body – know her favorite spots, to understand how she liked to be touched and what got her off. She'd been enjoying the feel of him pressing more and more against her. His arousal was getting more apparent and urgent. But when he'd entered her, their height difference - and their nerves about not being as athletic or adventurous or flexible in their sex lives - became apparent.

Olivia would admit the feel of him pressing into her had caused her to bend her opposite knee. Her body involuntarily wanting to open for him more and wrap around him – to hook around his waist. To press against him and into him too. And he'd almost as automatically grabbed at that thigh and knee and pressed her more firmly against the wall – pressing even more deeply and firmer into her. It felt good – he felt good. But a tiled wall in a shower isn't exactly the greatest support – it was more than a little slippery. And she'd become way more focused on that then the sensation of his presence.

"Bri, I don't feel too stable," she whispered against him. He'd tried adjusting. But she'd still shook her head and murmured, "No …" with some regret.

She could feel the disappointment in him too. But he let her slide back down and get her feet back on the stable – but rather slippery – ground.

Olivia had stared at the bench in the stall for a long beat. She'd kissed him. And his collarbone. His neck. "Sit," she instructed him.

She wasn't sure Brian would. Her on top – riding him - was one thing. Him being in a sitting position when he came - it was another.

He struggled with it. To the point that even foreplay on the couch – he moved her hand. He said he hated the feel of it. He'd gone for crass – citing and spouting something about 'pressure in the balls'. Olivia knew – now – a lot of that boundary had much, much more to do with a little boy being groped in the front seat of a car and having his first manual stimulation occur under those circumstances. But this wasn't going to be by hand.

She could tell he was thinking about it – measuring his own baggage and hang-ups and emotional capacities in that moment against his arousal and needs with where they'd gotten each other's bodies to.

The offer – the order to sit - hung there for a long beat. Long enough that his hand went around his erection – to protect it or harden it or just feel it – while he processed. But she only let him tug at himself briefly before she gently moved his hand and took over. He let her. It was another thing they'd been working on together those months. Touches and services and stimulation she was allowed to provide him. Needs and wants she was able – and willing – to fill for him. Trust he could put in her. Vulnerability he was allowed to have. Her – and him – re-learning how to operate now that she had a much better understanding of the whys behind his lines and boundaries and desires.

It'd been hard for both of them. But it'd helped clarify things – about both of them, about their relationship, about each other and how they were – extensively. It'd been a strange learning curve. A telling one. But as hard as it'd been – it'd brought them closer together. It'd been this baring of their souls in a way they probably hadn't expected. But it had made both them deal with a lot of things – and each other – in very different ways. It was a backward blessing in what was a horrifying situation and past. A silver lining that she was loath to call that. But context had been … everything. It'd forced them over a bump that she thought they'd both been quietly (angrily, passive aggressively, with a bit of resentment) struggling with for years. And now … they were … working through it together. In better – healthier – ways. They were stronger in a lot of ways that she never would've expected.

Olivia kissed gently at Brian some more. His chest again. His shoulders. His neck and jaw line. His mouth. All while carefully administering the movements and routine that he'd helped her – let her – learn for him. That worked for him. That she could feel how much it was working in her hand and coming through his chest and lungs and pulsing against that artery in his neck and in the catch of the breathe and sounds in his throat and against their locked mouths.

"It will be worth it, Birthday Boy," she mouthed against him. "Sit."

Brian's eyes set on her. She thought it might still be a 'no' – just like she wasn't willing to place her hands against the wall and bend forward, legs spread and ass presented for to press into her from that angle. That it was too much for that day and with that limited amount of alone time to work through it together.

But then he sighed a little at her and leaned in, tilting her chin up as he kissed her again and then he did nudge by her and settle on the wide tiled bench that was really more of a step.

He gazed at her. His eyes were heavy with arousal. It was still painted on his parted, damp lips too. The little way he just barely bit on his bottom lip as he looked at her. The nerves and the excitement of his want. His expectation and hope for how it'd be.

Olivia gave him a small smile. Straddled him – her feet and calves and knees moving around his thighs. And that expectant look gazed up at her – his hands found her hips – as she lowered.

It took a bit more manoeuvring of where to comfortable place her legs and knees – so they weren't hitting against the wall and edge of that step. Brian had ended up having to scoot forward to the point that it likely wasn't entirely comfortable for him. His ass would've been at the edge of the bench's tiles. A lot of his – and her – weight would've been supported by his legs and knees. His shoulders now the ones pressed into those slippery, damp wall tiles. But he hadn't protested at the weight or the positioning.

"God, Bri, you're har—"

You're hard. He was really, really hard. The anticipation? The minor thrill? A couple days without? The positioning? Olivia didn't know. She did know that between Brian's age and his heart medication and the anxiety medication he'd been on lately she wouldn't exactly say his erection was quite the way she might've remembered it – twenty years ago. But she also thought that him cutting back on the drinking that summer and the weight loss and muscle tone she'd seen him achieve she had already noticed some change in the bedroom with him. That morning, though? He was rock hard. Or at least that's the way he felt inside her. Maybe it was the changed angle and depth of penetration – the places she could feel him. And she felt him – in an entirely different way than their typical, home-time, bedroom, kids-finally-asleep-until-witching-hour, we're-exhausted-but-need-this routine. She was so aware of him. And it – he – felt ridiculously good inside her. Ridiculously hard. But she hadn't gotten that out.

And she hadn't because his mouth – his lips and tongue and a slight graze of his teeth – had caught her nipple. Just as his thumb stretched from holding at her hips and waist and ass and flicked at her clit. And the words she was trying to form were absolutely replaced with a surprised moan. And that had only made him grin. Though she'd brought his head up and kissed him deeply for that trick. A trick that he went back to. His mouth back to her breasts. His thumb holding steady and she ground against him.

Olivia rode him hard. It took some work. But the sensations were worth it. The penetration was so deep and she felt so full. The hot water against her back. His finger and mouth. The way his hands kept holding at her ass. How he'd intermittently hold her tight and take over the thrust and grind – pressing up into her in fast, hard rhythm for several long seconds that screamed down her back and through her core. Only for him to still and let her ride again. For him to stare at the way her breasts were near bouncing in his face. For his mouth to find them. For his hands to come up and weigh them. For his hips to restlessly keep up with her movements. For his thumb trace little circles just above her clit and then hold steady while she ground hard against that friction.

"Right there," she mumbled at him.

And she'd forgotten herself – or any hang-ups about her body. She'd gotten over that she knew his eyes kept watching the bounce and sway of her breasts in the restless, urgent, purposefully movements she was making. And she near leaned into him – into the wall – bracing herself more. And his mouth was on her again, while she panted just above his ear. She was working for it. And so was he. The shift forward was everything. She felt it as he pressed up into her again.

"There, Bri …," she near groaned at him.

It was all she needed to say. His hands came back to her hips, helping him measure the angle of penetration and then helping keep it. His mouth wandered. Sucking at her neck and shoulder and curves of her breasts. And he pressed firmly into her in long, languid, teasing strokes. And she panted with each one. The sounds that she was making were becoming less controlled. Her hips struggled to find the rhythm she wanted – to meet her need.

"Faster," she managed. "Please …"

He obliged. And he'd been hard to restrain herself as he moved over and over her G-spot in jolts that were nearly blinding. She buried her mouth against the side of his head – trying her best to muffle the moans that were trying to get out. Her arms and upper body near wrapping around him as her core did clench – and melt - around him. And then while her whole body was still pooling – while her clit was still super-sensitized - he was holding her even tighter while he slammed even more firmly and deeper into her. Then his hips involuntarily danced against her while he let out his own quiet moans against her shoulder and then held her against him in a hug that lingered.

*****END OF M*****

When they'd finally let loose enough to look at each other – he had that ridiculous smile on his face. It'd betrayed just how hard he'd cum and how good it'd been for him. And her look must've said around the same – because he'd let out a little laugh, gazing up at her.

"Happy birthday," she raised her eyebrow at him.

"Yea. Happy birthday is about right," he gravelled out and found her mouth. The kissing as they'd slowly come down had gone on for a languid period. But they'd eventually managed to slip – or pull themselves – away from each other.

Brian had headed back out to the living area of their suite while she'd taken a few more minutes to clean up in the shower and to get ready to face the day. Brian had already told her that he didn't want to do another theme park marathon day and had instead opted to spend the morning over at the water park instead. So she'd spent a little bit more time in the bathroom making sure she had a pool-ready body before going through the rest of her morning hygiene and getting ready routine.

Brian clearly hadn't needed as much time. He rarely did. He was already in his swim trunks and a tank – and bare foot in their little kitchenette. Her lover had settled into his domestic role – and Olivia supposed she loved him more than a little bit for that too. Husband, partner, friend, provider, supporter, daddy.

"You look nice," he still smiled at her as she slinked over to him.

She gave her head a little shake. She was pretty sure after that birthday lay she could've come out in a muumuu and he still would've told her she looked nice. But she refrained from comment – because truth was, Brian commented so irregularly about her appearance or clothing that when he did say something, he meant it. So instead she just took it for what it was worth and wrapped her arms around him, watching him work at the slicing and chopping and dicing of fruit.

"You know we could've taken you out for breakfast for your birthday," she whispered against his shoulder.

He shrugged. "Figured we'd likely eat dinner out like yesterday."

"Or like it's your birthday," she suggested.

He made a little noise and shook his head. "We'll do my birthday dinner when we get back," he said. "Have Ma and Jack over. Thought maybe get some beef ribs. Maybe get one of those little smoker boxes, some hickory. Try that out. Smoke them on the grill."

She smiled a little against his shoulder. "You'll really have Gus calling the fire department on us then."

"Fuck him," Brian said. "It's my birthday."

Olivia smiled a little more at that. "It is your birthday. And, Sweetheart, we can afford to eat breakfast out, have a birthday dinner here and still get a nice cut of meat for a family meal when we get home."

She'd made a reservation for dinner because she knew how he was. This was predictable. And very Brian. But it was his birthday. They would be doing something if they were home. He deserved a bit of a treat – even if he had no intentions of telling her what he wanted for that treat – beyond what he'd already gotten that morning. Still, Olivia knew him well enough to at least make an educated guess on what would make him happy when it came to his stomach. And what might make the evening at least a little special for him. As much as he was loath to let anyone make him feel special – or noticed. He always just wanted to blend in and fit in.

"We got this fruit," he said. "Should use it up." He held out a chunk of mango for her. "This is actually pretty fucking amazing."

Olivia let him feed it to her. Though, it was a big enough chunk that she did have to take it on her own. But she had to agree with him. It was wonderful. And they were definitely getting spoiled with all the fruit they'd been eating the past few days. She didn't think the kids had even noticed they hadn't been offered cotton candy or popsicles or ice cream yet. Or any of the other over-the-top treats they'd been seeing around the park and the hotel. The fruit they'd picked up at the grocery store to stock on their kitchenette's fridge was more than keeping them happy. They were getting treats they wouldn't normally get at home.

"I thought I heard the kids up," she said, as she savored the juiciness of the mango. She was sure she'd heard their juices and Brian's mumbled talking to them while she was still in the bathroom.

"They're up," he allowed. "Came out. I got shrieked at about not still being in bed."

"You know it's not your birthday if you don't get jumped on," she said.

"Yea," he muttered with a head shake and then nodded back toward the bathroom. "And we got caught. Morning pees while we were in there. So got …," and he gave her a very good impression of Benji's stink-eye squint, "and, 'Did you guys shower at the same time?'"

Olivia rolled her eyes a little. "Of course …"

"Em also needed clarification on, 'Do you shower naked at the same time?'"

Olivia allowed an amused noise.

"Yea, well, good news is that 'Mommy and Daddy stuff' still is all in the 'very, very gross' realm."

Olivia shook her head, as she finished the last bite of the mango slice. "I'm pretty sure that when Mommy and Daddy are the ones doing the 'Mommy and Daddy stuff', it will always be in the 'very, very gross' realm."

"Fair point," he allowed and jutted his head off toward the closed door to the kids' room. Considering they were up it was surprisingly quiet. "They retreated. I'm suspicious about how quiet it is."

She planted a small kiss on his jaw line. "You should be," she said.

"Mmm …," he allowed. "Let me guess … they're wrapping me up a tshirt."

She smiled a little at that and moved toward the closed door. Because — again — it was his birthday and they did have a little birthday surprise for him.

"Act surprised," she said. "And try to remember just how much your family adores you, Bri."

They did. Sometimes it boggled her just how much she did – Brian Cassidy.


	15. Chapter 15

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

"Good morning, my sweets," Olivia greeted gently as she entered their private little kids room in the family suite Brian had gone and upgraded them to.

She'd resisted the urge to check to see just how much the upgrade had been. But she suspected it hadn't been cheap – though Brian was always checking both their unions sites for the latest promos and discounts. So he might've gotten some sort of deal that way. It was rare that Brian settled on paying for much of anything at full price. In some ways – his upbringing and the borderline poverty of his childhood – had created a very frugal man. Something they butted heads about.

So this upgrade – it was special. For the 'honeymoon'. But also to try to make this as comfortable and do-able as possible with navigating Benji's health outside their own home and own city and own state for the first time. Olivia would admit she was appreciating having the bit of extra space and the little kitchenette and the miniscule amount of privacy that the extra door and their own beds was affording them.

And the kids loved their room. It was all done up in a pirate theme – to the point that the carpeting looked like a treasure map and the bed frames were shaped like tall ship boats, complete with a wheel to steer. She wasn't sure that had done much in getting them to calm down the night before when they were trying to get them to bed. They'd come right from the Caribbean and pirate fantasy land at the resort pool, splash bad and playground and landed right into a fun house where they could continue their imaginative game – on the lookout for Mermaid Cows and Whale Unicorns … and treasure. Benji and Emmy were taken enough with the hotel that Olivia still wasn't entirely sure they'd registered it wasn't part of the theme park. There definitely hadn't been any protests out of either of them about spending the later part of yesterday afternoon and into the evening playing around the pool and on the water slides and floating around the lazy river. Firing water cannons in the splash pad and pumping water and bailing out boats until buckets of water fell on top of them. The climbing structures at the playground and the sand castle pails and shovels everywhere were almost second thoughts there was so much else going on all around them.

So Olivia was sure when Brian told them he wanted a 'lazy river morning' for his birthday there wouldn't be any argument out of them. And they likely wouldn't even realize the intention was to take them over to the water park next to the hotel resort. To them the hotel resort was a water park enough so Olivia was sure their little minds were going to be blown once again. It was funny to watch. Their New York City kids weren't quite as desensitized and jaded as some parents from outside the city would expect. They were still just little kids and this was all new adventures and experiences for them too.

How little they still were was depicted again right there. The two of them sprawled out at the little craft table (made to look like a giant compass while their seats were rum barrels) in the room – scribbling and coloring up a storm.

"Mor'ing, Mommy," Emmy said – hardly looking up from her artwork.

Benji barely glanced at her. He was in deep concentration again with a colored pencil in his hand and careful, steady movements.

Olivia went over and stroked at his head, watching the both of them draw.

"How are you feeling this morning, my love," she whispered lightly.

He gave her a little shrug and she measured it with a small hum, observing his body. She saw he already at his copper, cooling compression sleeves pulled up on his legs and one down his left arm – like he was keeping his drawing muscles warm and loose and at the ready. But she internally sighed a bit at the sight and she ran her nails through his short cropped hair a bit more, scrapping at his scalp. His head tilted into the sensation and she moved her hand a bit to almost covertly feel for any heat coming off his forehead. But he felt cool.

"Did Daddy help you put those on, Benj?" she asked.

He gave a little nod but again remained silent. A little too quiet.

"OK," she allowed. But she knew if Benji was needing – wanting – the soothing of the compression supports already, his joints were still bothering him. And if they were still bothering him, they might be rethinking their current plan for the day. Brian had likely clocked that too while helping their little boy pull the tight sleeves up his extremities.

Olivia stared at his drawing. Benji was working on what was clearly a cartoon-ish Optimus Prime sketch. And she smiled softly. It would be meant for Brian. Daddy's proclaimed favorite of all the Transformers. Or at least the one that he'd been stuck with by presenting it as his favorite those years ago as he tried to bond with Benji – to win her over. Though, she didn't have too hard of time believing anymore that that 12-year-old boy all those years ago – without a father and navigating how to escape his abuser – would've gravitated to Optimus as a beloved cartoon hero either.

"What are we working on?" she asked anyway.

"I makin' a party hat for Daddy," Emmy provided of her rather colourful and disorganized scribbles. "We hafta tape it."

"Mmm …," Olivia allowed. "I'm sure he'll love it." He'd hate it. But he'd put it on for Emmy.

She gravitated toward the closet in the kids' room where their few small gifts for Brian had been stashed away.

Brian had requested no gifts that year. Though, that was his usual M.O.. She found him really hard to buy for. Not that she was particularly easy either. They'd pretty much mutually agreed that they'd rather spend any holiday gift money on the kids or family experiences. So the past few years Brian's birthday had meant Knicks tickets for the family to go to a game sometime that fall. But he'd felt this trip constituted enough of a family experience – and expense – that he hadn't wanted to drop additional money on tickets.

Olivia hadn't argued with him about it. Again, with their unions, sales and discounts and promotions would regularly pop up in their inboxes, if Brian did change his mind. Or spotted some kind of deal. Or the Knicks were actually having a season that was worth seeing. And he was right – they'd had some extra expenses that year. Above and beyond this trip.

Their little 'wedding' had some cost to it – even with it being at City Hall, simple rings and keeping the invitee list to Brian's mom and Cragen and Eileen as their witnesses and some really nice steak on the barbecue afterwards. And the kinds of summer camps they had to enrol the kids in that year in ensuring that Benji spent a whole lot more of his day inside than outside. Though, despite the fees being significantly more than what they'd secured at community day camps previous years, Olivia didn't question that the art camp and LEGO robotics and Mad Science camp had been worth it in so many ways for both their children. The growth they'd seen in them both – there wasn't a price tag you could place on it. Though, there'd definitely been a price tag placed on it that had stretched their monthly income limits. Combined with the expenses related to Benji's health care – and what their insurance did and didn't cover. They were still in an adjustment phase for that. It'd changed their perspective of budget and saving and debt quite a lot.

It was likely destined to change it more that fall when Benji was in next month for his follow-up appointments. The doctors had made it clear that Benji was likely going to be in a situation where additional treatment was recommended. His bloodwork throughout his first six-months had never been particularly glowing. His doctors had warned that they might be looking at doing a round of IgIV with their little boy. But had also been made clear that in a lot of cases it was a bit of a fight to get insurance companies to cover the $10K-a-pop treatment.

So they just had to be careful. Cognizant. But they were. Half their adult lives, single and in decent paying, unionized, public official jobs had meant they had some cushioning and flexibility to weather this. It was certainly changing some of their relationship with the family budget, their pay cheques and their bank accountant. But they hadn't had to completely alter their lifestyle. Yet. It hadn't altered it anymore than Benji's health had other areas – in that it'd changed things. But it was more about being careful and aware than it was a state of panic.

But the autumn was always just expensive for them. Brian's birthday and back-to-school and supply lists and Benji's birthday and her birthday and hockey fees (that it seemed like they were likely going to attempt again that year - though only on the recreational in-house league, not the travel team with its three practices a week and games every weekend) and Halloween and Thanksgiving and Jack's birthday and Christmas. Even though they didn't go all out for much of any of that – it still added up and definitely made mid-August through the end of December feel like there was much more of an outflow from their bank accounts than any kind of real inflow. So there was purpose behind Brian nixing the Knicks tickets that fall.

But the kids had been very concerned about not having Daddy's birthday. Olivia knew it had more to do with how much both her children thrived on routine and stability – and how that had translated into them cherishing certain traditions. So not being home for Brian's birthday had been throwing them for a bit of a loop – no matter how much they'd worked to normalize it or downplay it. To promise they'd have their usual 'party' for Daddy when they got home. So she had taken the kids out to pick a couple small gifts for Brian.

It'd actually been a bit of a heartbreaking outing. Benji had asked her if he was old enough to have a 'grown up' birthday that year for his birthday when it came around next month. Apparently that meant that he wanted a 'big kid birthday' like Jack got – meaning he just wanted his grandparents invited. "No one from my class and no little kids," he'd told her.

She'd clocked that – and it stung a bit too. They'd tried so many different birthday party variations with Benji over the years and none of them had ever really worked out. She never wanted to invite his whole class because she never wanted to shell out the cost of hosting the party somewhere that could accommodate his whole class. But the few invitations they did hand out never seemed to yield much attendance and Benji seemingly consistently being the first birthday of the school year, it also seemed to set some sort of non-invite precedent for him for the rest of the year. He'd be turning 11 but she could still count on less than one hand the number of classmates' birthday parties he'd been invited to over the years. They'd tried inviting people from his hockey team or basketball team instead – but birthday parties on weekends tended to conflict with team schedules. They'd tried just letting people know they'd be in such-and-such park or at such-and-such open gym and just drop-in at any time. They'd tried open house drop-ins. They'd tried inviting her and Brian's friends and colleagues – and their kids – over for cake but the people they knew all seemed to have kids much older or much younger than Benji. And he only did so well with kids he didn't really know as it was.

They'd tried so hard to shelter him from it – and the potential commentary that the failures of attendance projected. And Benji had usually shrugged it off. Even in that conversation with him in the store aisles he'd shrugged it off. His favorite part of birthdays was getting 'a Daddy breakfast even if it's a school day', to pick what park they went to that weekend and getting to pick what dinner was ('even take-out!') and having his requested every single year confetti M&M cake with chocolate icing. And, she knew that was true.

Olivia knew that in so many ways it was her and Brian and Emmy and Jack who were Benji's best friends. That he'd happily run around a park or playground or basketball court or splash around a swimming pool with them over a room full of people. And part of her was alright with that. Part of her loved that they'd created a family like that. But then it wasn't alright when a beat later, her little boy went, "But, Mom, do you think I'll have friends now in middle school?"

And she hadn't known how to answer that. It'd near caused her jaw to drop to the store's floor when that had come out of his mouth. And the re-affirmation of just how aware Benji was of the social ostracize he'd gone through in pubic school. And how her and Brian and Jack and Emmy – and Janet and Don and Eileen – none of them had come up with a way to fix that for him. She didn't think any of them even entirely understood the 'why' behind it – beyond that her and Brian and Jack were all loners and self-isolating in school and throughout childhood for their own reasons too. But it's different when it's your child. When you see – know – how wonderful and giving and creative and smart and lovable and fun they are. And you just wish …. WISH … some other little boy or girl would see that and want to engage with it.

"I really hope so, Benji …" she said. And it hadn't been what she wanted to say. Olivia didn't know what she had wanted to see. She'd wanted to say more. But in that moment – in the middle of the store – that was all she'd managed. But she did – she hoped and prayed that his middle school experience was going to be so different from what they'd gone through as a family in his elementary school. She hoped and prayed that the kids and teachers and families saw Benji the way her and Brian did. Saw how special he was. That he had his chance to shine. To show off his talents.

"What are you making, Benj?" she tried again as she brought the little bag of goodies over to the table.

He gave her a glance. "Optimus," he allowed. "For Dad."

"I think he's going to love that too," she said. "You know how much Daddy loves your drawing."

"Maybe we see real Op-tim-is today," Emmy said cheerily. "If dat's what Daddy picks for his bif-day out-ing?"

Benji sunk a bit at that. "Peedg doesn't want us to go on Transformers."

Olivia sat down, unpacking the goodies out of the shopping bag and reading them for the kids to stuff into a Transformer clad birthday gift bag instead.

"When did he say that?" she asked.

"This morning," Benji said and gave her a look but then fished Brian's phone out of his hoodie pocket and handed it to her.

She glanced at it. There was a long string of texts – in ALL CAPS – from Janet wishing Brian a very YELL-Y happy birthday. But she didn't see anything on the lock screen from Jack.

"Why do you have Daddy's phone?" she asked.

"Peedg said happy birthday to Dad and then Dad gave us FaceTime," Benji muttered.

"To tell Dack 'bout 'PID-DER-MAN!" Emmy provided.

"He said he doesn't want us to go on Jurassic Park, Back to the Future or Transformers without him …," Benji whispered.

Olivia shook her head at that and put the phone face-down on the table. It was buzzing again. It was like Janet sensed she'd touched it. Now requests for more pictures of "my grand-babies" were going in along with a commentary on whatever Bri had sent through to her already.

"Well," she said. "It's Daddy's day so he gets to pick what we're doing. If that's Transformers – that's Transformers. And, if we want to go on Jurassic Park or Back to the Future – we're going to go on them, Little Fox. If Jack had wanted to go on the rides with us, he should've figured out a way to come on vacation too."

Benji gave her some quiet side eye. "He said you and Dad being in the shower together is 'zactly why he didn't come on the honeymoon."

Olivia rolled her eyes.

"I tell him it 'cuz you hafta converse water on your honeymoon," Emmy said. "Dat wha Daddy said."

Olivia allowed another little eye roll with her smile at that.

"Peedg said it's like the first day so you should converse energy …"

"Jack …," Olivia cursed quietly — and exceedingly frustratedly.

"Dat hydro-power," Emmy nodded hard. "Water energy. You conserve it on your honeymoon. In Florida. It important to save the oceans and manatees. And narwhals."

Olivia allowed a little laugh at that, but then Emmy added … "Dack say 'whateva woks your boat."

Olivia made another unimpressed noise and gazed at Benji who was looking at her hurt. He knew his big brother — his uncle — was being a bit of a jack-ass. She reached to brush at Benji's bed head. She could tell in his tone he was overtired – on top of any pain he was having already. He didn't need Jack being a jerk — or making any of them feel like they couldn't enjoy this trip to its fullest.

"Benji, sometimes Jack doesn't think before he speaks. He wasn't thinking before he said any of that."

And Jack was likely in a mood too. He'd called her the night before when he was trying to get the barbecue started – and didn't know how. She suspected he'd been too embarrassed to call Brian to ask for help directly.

"I need your help," he'd said urgently when she'd picked up – while they were still at the pool. And her heart had caught in her throat. But then she got, "Don't tell Brian – but I'm trying to turn on his barbecue." Brian was sitting right next to her during this conversation.

She'd rubbed at her eyebrow. "Jack, if you think Brian will be upset about you touching his barbecue – stop and think about how upset he'll be if you've pulled those chops he has in the freezer out." There was dead silence. She'd looked at Brian and he'd shaken his head hard – clear annoyance at the predictability. "They better be replaced by the time we get home," she provided.

"I'm only using two," Jack said.

"And most nights of the week, Jack, we're feeding a family of four."

"They're huge. Two is enough to feed four," he said.

"Jack," she warned.

"Well, unless you help, I'm just going to be putting them back in the freezer anyway," he muttered at her. "I can't get this fucking thing to ignite."

"Do you want to talk to Brian," she offered.

"No, I don't want to talk to Brian," he muttered at her. "You're allowed to touch the thing, aren't you? It shouldn't be this complicated."

She could hear him pressing and pressing at the igniters. He was likely going to damage it with the way he was going at it. She suspected that Renee must've been concerned he was going to break it too – because she heard a 'did you try this' in the background and a "Yea. It doesn't do anything" from Jack.

Olivia rubbed at her eyebrow again. "I hope you aren't planning on having an overnight guest after your expensive French chop dinner, Jack …"

"You know the likelihood of her staying probably increases if I have to serve raw meat and she ends up hanging over the toilet with food poisoning," Jack said.

Olivia let that hang there without a reaction so it was clear she was unimpressed.

"Yea, OK, Mom," he grumble. "We'll eat here and then go back to my sauna to have sex in there instead. Thanks."

Olivia just shook her head and gave Brian another look, again rubbing at her eyebrow without a reaction to that comment. Though, she was pretty sure she could imagine Renee's reaction to that comment. If she'd even been considering engaging in anything with Jack that night – her oldest son had likely just closed that door on himself.

"You know, I don't know what the big deal is," Jack spat at her. She could tell he was frustrated – with the barbecue more than her – but she was where the frustration was getting vented. "Like on your 'honeymoon' you aren't going to be doing the exact same thing at the Captain's place."

"Jack, anything we do on this 'honeymoon' is with complete awareness that we are guests in someone else's home."

"So you're saying I'm a 'guest' here?"

"Jack, I'm saying to please remember the rules and agreements we have about your time at the house – and to treat our home with respect," she pressed at him and she heard the igniter again. "Stop taking your frustration out on Dad's barbecue, Jack."

"He's not my dad," Jack said firmly.

She exhaled. "You know what I mean."

"Can you just explain to me how to get it to turn on," he said.

And she had. Only to discover that the tank was out of propane – which turned into an accusation that Brian had purposely left an empty tank so he couldn't use the barbecue. Like the possibility that it was just empty – because they'd grilled their meals nearly every day since June and Brian likely just hadn't realized it was that low right before they left – wasn't an option at all.

"You're welcome to go and get it filled and use the barbecue," Olivia had said to him.

"On foot? In Brooklyn? Where do I even go for that?"

She rolled her eyes more. That was something she actually didn't know the answer to. In their division of chores and errands – that hadn't been one she'd been responsible for that summer. "Would you like to talk to Brian?" she put to him again.

"No," Jack spat.

And Olivia just shrugged. "OK," she managed. "I'm going to go now. Remember it's Brian's birthday tomorrow. Maybe you'd like to talk to him then."

She'd heard him start to say something else – but she'd hung up before he could. He was in a mood and she hadn't been willing to engage anymore with it. Not while she was on vacation. Not when she'd just had a nice day with her children who were still actually children. But seemed to manage to treat her with a lot more respect and courtesy most days than Jack.

The kids' rendition of their conversation with him that morning, though, suggested that even though Jack had calmed down – and grown up – enough that he'd actually did wish Brian a happy birthday, he was still doing what Brian called his Jack-Ass Routine about the rest of it. Just … misery loves company.

Jack was upset he hadn't been able to come along and was making sure they knew it – in the most immature way possible. Part of that, though, was because there'd been a point in the lead up that he'd approached her to ask if her or Brian had enough travel points on any of their credit cards that he could use them to get a flight to come out for a weekend at Cragen's. In some ways it'd been a nice thought – but it also just … was so not where they were trying to get Jack to be at that point in his adult life. It'd actually spurred her and Brian sitting Jack down to have the 'you're cut off' talk with him.

They'd been working up to that conversation for the better part of a year – or four. But with him done school – with a Master's degree – and three months into his first real full-time job, while he was still taking part-time hours at Gecko's skateboarding shop (because he loved building decks and working with kids) and talking about moving in with Renee, it'd been time. Jack had had more than enough time to mature and to find his feet. It was time to cut the apron strings a bit more and push him out of the nest. They were still his safety net. Home was still home – under their rules. But he had enough income and was old enough and established enough – making enough adult decisions and lifestyle choices – that they shouldn't need to be subsidizing his rent and groceries … and family holidays, vacation time and activities anymore.

They'd explained where they were coming from. They'd gone over some of the changes in their family's income and budget allocations with Benji's health. They'd talked about what might be coming up - and the added expense that'd be. About the on-going care - not just in terms of medication and doctor's appointments about the physical therapy and counselling and para-medical (dietician and social worker and occupational therapists) fees that they'd be looking at for likely the rest of Benji's life. About the tutoring and academic help they were anticipating they'd have to access for him both with his dyslexia and the amount of school they expected he was going to miss - and would need extra help keeping up. They'd talked honestly about their careers having mandatory retirement ages - and what sort of savings they'd need - and wanted - to have put away. The kinds of priorities they had for their family - and their children. Their health and wellness and education. They'd laid out what some of their adult - grown-up - expenses were as people in their middle-age working supervisory role jobs with a mortgage and raising two young children - were. Just what their monthly and yearly budget was like in their planning and allocation - and how some of that had gone a little topsy turvy with lupus. And how Jack was more than old enough to understand that. That he was good enough son and brother and uncle to know that the children - and Benji's health - came first in their family.

The conversation hadn't gone nearly as badly as Olivia had anticipated. She'd fully expected his abandonment issues to come streaming to the forefront and for him to have a panicked meltdown. For it to set off a series of triggers in him. Fears and insecurities and self-worth/self-esteem and place questioning. But it hadn't – and maybe that had helped prove that Jack really was starting to grow up. Though, she had come to think that it had more proved that when Brian participated in these sit-downs with Jack, her oldest boy reeled it in a bit. There was a different dynamic when Brian was at the table – when a man was there telling him to grow up and man up and not just 'mom'. But since that time Jack had slid a bit. Especially as they got closer to their departure – and apparently with it. Olivia was trying to write some of that off on jealousy and disappointment from Jack's end. His fear of missing out – and in a way, he was missing out. But as for some of the other stuff – she knew, and Brian kept reminding her – that six months from now when Jack had gotten used to his work environment and his pay check and had learned how to manage that and his rent and budget on his own … this would pass. And he'd be a better man for it. He might actually be a man worthy of Renee wanting to move in with.

"Don't worry about Jack," Olivia told her two little ones. "It's Daddy's day. Let's worry about him. C'mon. Help me get his presents ready."

Benji still looked at her a little concerned – and hurt. But Emmy dived right in in claiming the tape and tissue paper to finish up her party hat for Daddy. And that got Benji working to help ball the stuff around the couple gifts and drop them into the bag. Olivia went and retrieved the birthday treat – and the accompanying decorated cake plates and paper cups that the kids had also insisted a birthday-did-make.

She opened the plates and put the loaf of banana bread on the one plate. She popped open the candles – which, of course, also had to be Transformers. One said Happy Birthday while the accompanying smaller ones were of Optimus and Bumblebee's heads. Benji did grab at them to help with that.

"It not enough," Emmy said as Benji jabbed the three candles into the cake. With the way he was ramming them into the loaf, Olivia was pretty sure they'd be getting about a half-loaf slice each topped with crumble.

"There's not a banana cake big enough for all the candles Daddy needs," Olivia said.

"How many?" Emmy asked.

"Forty-eight," Olivia allowed.

"We shoulda got number candles," Benji mumbled. "Four, eight"

"Mmm," Olivia smiled and shook her head. "I think Daddy will like this a lot better than being reminded which birthday he's celebrating."

"But he's not even that old," Benji said. "It's not like he turning fifty like you."

She rolled her eyes. "Not yet," she confirmed. "Give it two years."

"Yea. Then you'll be … fifty-three. 'Cuz you're going to be fifty-one in like two months, Mom," Benji clarified for her.

"I am well aware of that, Benj …" Clearly she was the 'old' one in the family.

"That's way older than forty-eight. You're way older than Dad."

"I am two years older than Daddy …" she muttered.

"Fifty-one candles is a lot. Dad didn't even let us put fifty candles on your cake either."

"Gee … that's too bad …"

"He said it'd burn the cake," Benji said.

Olivia gave Benji a look at that and shook her head. That was the first time she'd heard that one. It sounded very much like Brian.

"I carry the cake," Emmy said, sitting up on her knees as Olivia got the candles lit.

But she shook her head again. "I'll take care of the cake. Little Duck, how about you carry the presents and your party hat," she suggested, putting the gift bag in her hand. "Benj, you can carry Daddy's peanut butter and honey – and the plates," she said nodding at him to retrieve those goodies.

"We forgot banana slices!" Benji said suddenly.

Olivia shook her head. "Daddy bought the bananas. They're in the kitchen."

"Mommy! The bif-day 'pinkles!" Emmy said.

"Oh …," Olivia said and glanced around and then quickly retrieved the stashed away grocery bag again. She didn't want wax dripping all over Benji's candle job – making the breakfast loaf a bigger mess. "Here they are," she said with a bit of relief and handed the shaker container to Emmy. She doubted Brian would have much interest in the sprinkles. But she was sure that Emmy would dump as much as anyone let her on top of her slice of banana bread. Birthdays required sprinkles – and confetti. And ice cream. She kept being reminded.

She did a glance at her kids – and their little parade. The kids still in their pyjamas and with their bed-head mess. And their little make-shift breakfast birthday surprise. Mostly crafts and drawings for Daddy – stuffed in a cartoon character bag. There was something about it that just proclaimed what kind of Daddy these kids had. The man she'd pick to make a family with. And really – it was exactly the kind of gift Brian wanted. Their little make-shift, mess of a family. The gift he made sure to tell her he was thankful for every day – even on the days they were fighting.

And they did look pretty good for their little make-shift family.

"OK," she smiled. "Get the door, Emmy."

And out they marched singing — more like shrieking at deafening levels that only a child's love can truly project at — 'Happy Birthday'. Happy Birthday to you … Happy Birthday dear DAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDYY! Happy birthday to you.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**Feedback, comments and reviews are appreciated. Thanks for your readership.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

"Boom," Brian said, smearing a heaping spoonful of the raw, natural peanut butter onto Benji's slice of banana bread. Benji was already decorating it with blueberries – always playing with his food. So Brian nudged the plate of sliced bananas over toward their little boy. "Protein load, Big Man." He snagged a couple slices, as it to prove it – dropping them onto his own piece. "Breakfast of champions." He gave Olivia a small smile, taking a bigger than necessary bite, as if to prove it.

She knew he was laying it on thick – the peanut butter and the lines, that were more meant for the kids in that moment than her. She always found it interesting to watch Brian switch on Daddy Mode. He'd actually consistently impressed her over the years with how quickly and easily he was able to throw that switch. She sometimes thought he did it a bit better than her.

Though, she supposed since moving to Carroll Gardens she generally was a bit better about it. She had a bit more time to shut-off and decompress before walking in the door and into Mommy Mode. Though, she didn't always take that opportunity. If she was on transit – she usually was glued to the phone using the time for dealing with work she'd fallen behind on. And if she was behind the wheel, she was usually stressed in different ways by the time she got home after dealing with the traffic. Brian was better at shutting the barn doors – as he called it. He felt there was really an emergency or deadline at work that really demanded or needed his attention outside of courthouse hours. And if it did – it was because the lawyers fucked up – not him. And Brian being Brian sometimes blew them off. Make them learn the hard way. He didn't have a magic wand up his ass to fix oversights he'd alerted them to long before things had reached the panic point.

Beyond that, he argued with the kind of cases his team dealt with he needed the separation. He needed to purposefully shut it off. And he told her she needed to get better about it too. And he was right. And she was getting better at it. Olivia liked her family time – and her time with the kids. She liked having more in her life than SVU and the victims. But it was still hard to shut it off. To walk away. To turn off the phone – and to shut the barn doors.

Emmy used Daddy's distraction – his flashy smile for Mommy - as her opening and grabbed at the jar of peanut butter he'd just put down. But Olivia was pretty immune to Brian's choirboy grin. Some days. When she wanted to be. When she told herself she would be – because him doing that right now wasn't going to get them anywhere for at least … 12 to 16 hours. And damn him, right now, turning on the grin and the charm – while he had about the perfect amount of vacation scruff growing on his chin all salt and pepper. Making him look exactly his age – and a lot more refined than the fight-brawler look he still tried to project in his daily life. So she forced herself to ignore that look he was giving her and reached to pull the peanut butter out of Emmy's reach before she got her sticky, grubby hands on it.

"Mommy," Emmy huffed at her. "It for my bek-fist of champ-ins!"

"You picked honey," she nodded at Emmy's mangled mess of a breakfast. She hadn't let her or Brian help with smearing the raw honey either. So the slice of banana bread was pretty much a ball of honey and crumbs on their daughter's Transformer plate. And Olivia had restrained herself from looking into the mess that was also likely now in the honey jar. She was pretty sure there was going to be a layer in there that looked about as unappetizing was what was on Emily's plate.

"Pee-it butter and honey good together!"

"They're Daddy's birthday breakfast treats," Olivia said, moving both jars to the far end of the table.

"He share!" Emmy said and looked at Brian pleadingly – giving him that pout that their little girl knew worked a whole lot better on Daddy than her more days than not. Daddy's Little Girl – through and through. And Emmy knew it.

"Em, eat what you've got on your plate," Brian said. Emmy tried a bigger pout. "You can have a peanut butter slice if you finish what you took."

Emmy took a look at it. "But it not a bek-fist of champ-ins."

"'Cuz you went and made it look all like puke," Benji said and placed another blueberry on his slice. While Emmy's very much did look like something a cat hacked up – his was starting to border on some kind of modern art.

"It goss," Emmy provided.

"'Cuz you did that do it," Benji said again – giving her a super unimpressed big brother look.

"No. It goss cuz it cake!" Emmy argued.

"It's banana bread," Benji corrected.

"It Daddy's bif-day cake," Emmy said. "Cake is goss!"

"It's not his birthday cake. Gramma makes his birthday cake. Wait. Will Gramma make you a cake, Dad?" Benji gazed at him in sudden horror. "Or … are you not like getting a real cake this year?"

"Daddy can pick whatever treat he wants today for his birthday," Olivia said and gave Brian a look. "And I have it on good authority that Grandma is still making a cake."

Brian gave his head a tilt at that and a little eye roll. "Sure that will be gluten-free, dairy free and no refined sugars …" he mouthed quietly.

He'd already told his mom to not bother with the cake that year. Not with the kind of dietary choices and limitations and substitutions they were trying to maintain with Benji. Not when they'd seen positive changes in Benji with some of the changes they'd made. Not when they'd seen it in their own bodies too. Brian was actually convinced that he more had a problem with gluten than lactose. Not that he'd gone and gotten tested for that either. But there'd definitely been some evidence to support it – bread and gluten heavy lunch and junk food at work and he'd come home with all that bloat back. And now that they'd limited it whenever he did eat something with it he seemed to keep breaking out in these rashes on his neck and chest – which previously they would've both just attributed to his fair Irish skin.

But Janet knew they were being careful. She'd had the kids for lots of after day camp snack and dinners over the summer – a couple breakfasts too – and she seemed to be being respectful of their requests. But that was couched in Benji's health. Hopefully she'd understand that even if this cake was "for Brian" – it'd need to be edible for everyone.

And Janet was committed to this cake. Olivia thought that Brian might miss it if he didn't get his banana cream cake from his mom either. It had become a bit of a thing. But it'd only been in the past few years that Olivia had been privy to how much of a thing it was. She thought it was just Brian and bananas. And it was – but it also wasn't.

The story had come out that the banana cake for his birthday had started because there'd been one year where his mom couldn't afford to get him a make – or apparently a mix to make one. So she'd just used what was around. That'd meant using up some old bananas.

Olivia had thought that was enough of a tear-jerker. She'd known that there'd been points Janet had struggles as a single parent on a single income. But not being afford to a cake mix that particular year had put it in greater context – one that Brian never really got into. One that was telling of the kind of mother Janet was. And the kind of childhood Brian had had. Telling about the way he was and who he was. The differences in their upbringing. And their different takes on parenting now.

It'd only been in the past months, though, that Brian had added more context to that story. Elements that Janet hadn't shared. That it wasn't that they didn't have anything in the house or that they couldn't afford it. It was that that birthday had landed on one of the times his father had shown up – and beaten up. And they'd been displaced and in hiding again. They were in a shelter – with nothing. That the "cake" was little more than a squished up banana in a frying pan. That it hardly could even be called a banana pancake.

But Brian had appreciated his Mom's effort. He still did. She tried. She really, really tried. And Olivia recognized that too. So she trusted that Janet would try to make the banana cake that had much evolved over the years to layered with slices of whole bananas, pudding and whipped cream cheese frosting – like she was trying to somehow depict or celebrate how much her and her son had moved on and survived and evolved from that low point in their lives – into this new version of reality in her son's life. Olivia really did trust that she would – because she saw on a regular basis on how proud Janet was of her son. That he'd moved on and established a better lot in his life. That he had a family. And she knew that Janet loved that family – being part of it. She fussed over Benji and Emmy in the extreme – the point it was a nuisance. To the point that Olivia had to stop and remind herself of stories like this – and to give the woman some leeway to live, to enjoy. To share in it too.

"Gamma's Daddy bif-day cake is …" and Emmy made a huge retching motion and opened her mouth right over the top of her plate like that was going to prove the point – or help the situation in getting her way anymore than it way.

"That's really rude, Emily," Olivia said. "It's Daddy's favorite and it's his and Grandma's birthday tradition. How would you like someone saying that about your birthday favorites and our birthday traditions?"

"Your ice cream whale was pretty gross," Benji provided.

"Benji," Olivia warned.

"Well, it was. It was all thick and goopy and fudgey," he said and made his own gag face.

"It was a Fudgie," Brian dead-panned that factoid.

"It was slimy," Benji said.

"IT WAS A NAR-WHAL SLIME BIF-DAY!" Emmy contended.

"Yea. So disgusting. And the blue icing on your cupcakes was beyond gross. It just tasted like … food dye."

"No, it taste like the ocean," Emmy stated plainly and pulled back her banana puke, collecting some with her finger – crumbly honey – and sucked it off.

"A polluted ocean. All full of chemicals. It made everything blue," Benji mumbled.

"Jah," Emmy said. "Dat science."

What it was was a mess. Olivia was pretty sure no one who'd been at that party would ever make the mistake of honoring a child's request for blue icing at any point in the future. It'd gotten all over everything and everyone within any proximity of the children. And even the adults who'd taken on had ended up looking hypothermic from the dye on their lips. The white shirt Alex had put Leo in had gone home a rainbow by the time he'd taken his cupcake, dripped ketchup from his hotdog all over himself and caked slime all over the fabric. Olivia didn't know what Alex was thinking when she'd put in that much food dye – or dressed her son in white for a party at their house when 'slime making' was promoted as the ultimate intention of the event.

"Hey," Brian said. "Both of you stop it. I don't want to play referee for my birthday."

"What do you wanna do, Dad?" Benji asked, looking at him hopefully.

But Brian was giving Emmy a warning look as she continued to jab her finger into her mess and then lick at it. She was avoiding the stare so he pulled her plate away, shoving the plate of fruit he'd sliced toward her instead. "Don't know we're going to be doing anything, bud. Not if your sister doesn't eat something more than honey before we go out."

"Ducky!" Benji glared at her.

Emmy looked at her brother – with some nurtured stink eye – and then shifted it to her dad. "We goin' to meet Op-tim-is?"

Brian kept her eyes. "Maybe. And maybe we're going on the lazy river and water slides and out for ice cream. Or maybe we're doing nothing – if someone doesn't eat some breakfast."

"EMMY!" Benji said – in a very stern, big brother way. "Don't test Daddy!"

Olivia tried to hide her amused smile at that. That was definitely a line her and Brian both handed out to the kids. "Don't test Daddy", "Don't test Mommy" – you will lose. It'd been a discipline line that had been hard to follow through on. But it'd only taken a handful of follow-throughs before putting the line out there was enough. The consequences were memorable – and regrettable – enough that the kids knew they didn't want to go cruising across those lines again.

And Emmy knew it. She huffed a bit but her hand slinked across the table and retrieved some of the fruit. She chewed at it – finally sitting her butt on the bench at their little table rather than being up on her knees making all kinds of trouble.

"Dad, but don't you wanna open your presents?" Benji asked.

"Mmm …," Brian allowed and reached for the gift bag on the table. "You mean there's something in this? I thought this was just for taking to the Farmer's Market."

"Dad …," Benji sighed at him.

Brian scruffed a bit at Benji's head but then picked at the tissue paper that their little boy had wadded in the top.

"Open mine first," Emmy said.

"I'll open whatever I find in here first," he said.

"Put on your hat, Daddy," Emmy ordered instead.

Olivia reached and retrieved it, plopping the paper cone back on his head. He'd barely had it on previously – using the excuse that it was too light and the breeze from the air conditioner vent was sending it flying. Poor excuse – just like that annoyed look he was giving her then.

"For pictures," she provided.

He shook his head at her. The hat tumbled from his head again. Olivia allowed a quiet amused noise and reached to put it on his head again. Brian left it but it again fell as he dug through the excessive amount of tissue the kids had placed in the bag. Apparently they felt they had to use the whole pack of the baby blue paper-thin tissue.

"Emmy, I think we're going to need to put a chin strap on it for Daddy. We'll have to find some string."

"Dental floss," Benji suggested.

Brian cast him a look.

"Or not …" Benji said.

"Found something," Brian said – clearly trying to pull attention away from the hat. He wagged it at the kids and worked at peeling back the wadded paper. He made an amused noise and held up a box of Lactaid at the kids. "Wow. So thoughtful."

"Dat from Mommy," Emmy provided and leaned forward again to tip the bag toward her, likely trying to gauge where her gift was buried in this excavations site.

Brian shook his head at Olivia. But she only raised her eyebrow. "So you're able to enjoy all your favorite desserts today." The innuendo was apparent – and her take on his sexual attractiveness and performance after he'd indulged in dairy was long-standing and over-stated.

So that choirboy smile pulled at the corners of his mouth with that comment and he looked at the box again. "Thought we did dessert for breakfast today."

She shrugged. "It's your birthday. Maybe you get dessert more than once."

He made a quietly amused sound and gave her headshake. She'd got him. She knew he liked the parley and teasing. He very purposefully set it on the table and gently tugged the bag back from Emmy.

"I can see mine," she said, her whole arm diving in as he righted the bag. And it emerged with a hot sauce bottle – miraculously free of any sort of tissue wrapping. "It say Dack – but it from me. But I pick it since it say Dack. It Dack Sauce."

It was Jackass – Ass-Kicking – Hot Sauce.

"Jack is definitely saucy lately …," Olivia provided.

Brian made a little sound and took it from their daughter. "Thanks, Em," he said and gave Olivia another look. "Should I be expecting something for heart burn next?"

"It not for heartburn," Emmy clarified. "It for at Cap'in and Nana-Lean's house. Be-cuz Nana-Lean's cookin' organ-icky blah-and."

Olivia let out a real laugh at that and looked at Brian, covering her mouth to try to keep the kids from seeing how much that comment had amused her. Sometimes Brian really wasn't careful enough about what he said around the kids. They both repeated everything.

Emmy looked at her a little confused. "Dat what Daddy say. Nana-Lean's food organ-ick. And blah-and. It mean bad."

"It doesn't mean bad," Brian gave his daughter a look. She was on a roll that morning. She was getting lots of Daddy Looks. It was breakfast and a show between the two of them. "And that's not something we're going to tell Eileen or Cragen."

"You can just cook for 'em, Daddy," Emmy said. "Cap'in catch fish and you cook it."

"Oh, fantastic idea," Brian said. "Sounds like a real vacation. Thank you, Emmy."

"Wel-come," Emmy glowed.

"There's still the one from me," Benji said.

Brian gave him a teasing look. "What? You got me something else besides this picture?" he asked and nodded at the sketch that had been handed to him as soon as they'd finished singing.

"Well, I got you a real present," Benji said.

"This looks pretty real to me, Big Man," Brian said, giving it another stare. Brian always seemed to boggled with Benji's art. Olivia would admit she was becoming increasingly boggled by his talent too. It was so far outside the realm of her or Brian's skill sets. Though, there must be some genetic component to it. It wasn't like Jack was an unskilled artist. But what Jack did – his drawing and sketches – most of it Olivia wouldn't exactly call 'art'. Not in the way Benji was showing talent. Differently.

"Well, what I gotcha is kinda for your office too," Benji said. "If you really meant you're puttin' it in your office."

"Ben, this is absolutely going in a frame and in the office. This is about a hundred thousand times better than most of the stuff I've got to look at in there."

Benji gave him a thin smile and took another shy bite out of breakfast creation. Benji was constantly seeking her and Brian's praise and approval – but he also struggling receiving praise and approval. There was this contradiction between the want and need. It was like he never quite believed he was getting it. And as much as he wanted the attention – he also didn't want the attention drawn directly to him. It was probably a personality quirk – a shadow of abuse and neglect – that drew the attention and bullying he'd endured so far at school. The quiet awkwardness of their son.

"OK, so let's see what else is in here," Brian said and dug into the bag again. He pulled out the item and rattled the paper at Ben. "Hmm. A Tootsie Roll?" he suggested.

"Noooooo," Benji shook his head.

Brian shook it again. "Alligator jerky?"

"Nooooo," Emmy and Benji both giggled at that.

"Then I've got no clue," Brian said and peeled the paper off. He stared at it. Olivia could tell it took him a moment to register what it was. She'd been with Benji when he picked it for his dad and it'd taken her more than a moment to register what it was. "Oh," he finally shook his head and flipped around the packaging of the multi-tool pen that Benji had decided was an absolute office job necessity. Olivia was pretty sure about the only feature – out of the nine features on it – that Brian might use was the actual pen-tip. But that was besides the point. Benji had completely fallen in love with it when they'd wandered through the barbecue and grill accessories and instead somehow ended up with this. Because it's 'sooooooooo coooool, Mom!'. "This is pretty killer, Big Man."

"It's a pen ninja!" Benji said. "Like the Ninja Turtles should have it! Like Splinter! Since you're like Master Splinter at work! But! Wait! Dad! You didn't open your card!"

"I didn't see a card," he muttered. He actually did look like he liked the pen. He was working at trying to get it open. It looked like he needed one of the multi-tools included in the pen to be able to get it out of its packaging, though.

"It have Turt-tells on it," Emmy provided. "And say 'cow-a-bung-ah, it your bif-day!' And Daddy, guess what?"

"What?" Brian mumbled, still picking – a bit more violently, Olivia could tell he was thinking of using his teeth – at the packaging of the pen.

"We write too dat we get you a bif-day, vacation, honeymoon tshirt! You getta pick!"

"Whoa," he gapped at her. "I get to pick?"

"Jep! But you pick Transformers, wight?"

"Mmm …," Brian allowed.

"He'll pick Avengers," Benji said.

"I think he should pick something that says Hufflepuff …," Olivia nudged him. He hated that their family sorting hat quiz had landed him there. But Olivia actually thought from the description it was quite appropriate. A gentle natured animal known for its loyalty but also known for its ferocity – and how it defended itself and its loved ones with force. That was Brian in a nutshell – in her (her family's) experience.

"Don't poke the badger …," Brian monotoned at her. But then put the pen down for a moment, though he looked like he'd still like to get it out to take a better look. "OK. Let's see."

He dug back into the bag and swished his hand around but then stopped. He pulled out a small, narrow envelope instead. Olivia knew he'd be able to tell from the feel and weight of it that it wasn't a card.

"What's that?" Benji asked, leaning forward. The kids likely hadn't noticed her drop that into the bottom of the bag.

"That's from me," Olivia provided.

Brian gave her a look. "What happened to no gifts," he mouthed.

She shrugged and gave her eyebrow a rub. "Open it."

He lifted the tab and stuck his finger down inside and then gave her another look, as he pulled his hand out and tilted the contents to slide into his palm. He stared at the well-worn watch that landed there with almost as much initial confusion on his face as when he'd received Benji's 'ninja pen'.

"It's a watch," Benji stated with his own confusion but then leaned forward a bit more to look at it. "I wanna watch."

Emmy got up on her knees again to stare too. "Me too."

"Well, this watch is too special for either of you to be ready to take care of yet," she said and looked more directly at Brian. "Do you recognize it?"

"Ahh …," he said and gave her a glance and then looked at the timepiece again. Hard. It hung there and then he looked back at her again – his brow scrunched. "Is this …?"

Olivia nodded. "Yea."

He made a small noise – not amused, but something – and looked back at the watch. "OK. Wow."

"What is it?" Benji asked – scrunching his brow almost the same way as his dad and casting them both squint eye.

"This is a watch that a long, long, looonnng time ago when Daddy and I were still working together – I forgot at his apartment. And Daddy made sure he got it returned to me."

"Dats good," Emmy said. "You should not keep tings dats not yours. You forget it on a playdate?"

Benji stared right at her. "You forgot it on a sleepover," he said.

Brian made a slightly amused sound at that and Olivia batted ever-so-gently at Benji's head. "I forgot it at Daddy's house. And he returned it to me. But now I want to return it to him."

Brian gave his head a little shake. "I haven't seen you wear this one in … I don't know. Ages? Years?"

She shrugged a little. "It was broken. I overwound it. It's actually my grandfather's watch," she said and reached to turn it back over in his hand so he could see the back and the engraving there. "It's Swiss made but it's British Army. He traded for it in France."

Brian stared at her and shook his head. "Liv," he sighed. "I can't accept this."

But she pressed his hand back closer to him – wrapping her hand over top of his. "I wanted to have it to give to you in June," she said of their wedding. "It took longer to get it repaired than I hoped."

He stared at their hands.

"And," she said gently, catching his eyes and then nodding her head over in Benji's direction. "I'm really more just asking you to hold onto it – use it – for a decade or so …"

Brian's eyes shifted over to Benji too and then looked at her. There was still a discomfort there. An awkwardness that was so like their little boy's in so many ways. But Olivia just closed her hand around his a bit tighter.

"You're worthy, Brian. And you're enough."

"And it's your bif-day!" Emmy said.

Olivia allowed her little girl a smile and then turned it over to Brian too. "And it's your birthday. I want you to have it. Hold it."

To have and to hold. From this day forward. For better or worse. For richer or poor. In sickness and in health. They were off to a … good … challenging … real … start to all that. But there was love. They cherished their family. And she really hoped – with another year going up on the tally – it'd be many, many, many more until death did any of them part.


	17. Chapter 17

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

"Hey …," Olivia called at Brian and let it hang there. She could tell he hadn't registered she was speaking to him. "Bri …," she tried again.

His eyes slowly pulled away from his intense – yet absent - stare at Benji. Their little boy halfway straddling his one knee and leaning into Daddy while he determinedly fiddled with the newest Transformer that he hadn't even had to con Brian into buying for him. But there had been enough ups and downs that day, Olivia wasn't entirely surprised that the kids had come away with some material things. Because sometimes it was hard – when you felt so helpless – that you ended up grasping at anything that might distract your child and bring them some kind of comfort. When you tried to find something – to make it feel like you were doing something – to get them through their day … their life.

Their day – Brian's birthday – hadn't gone exactly as planned. Or hoped – because they'd only gone into it, or any of this vacation – so much of a plan. They'd definitely had moments of near derailment. But they seemed to have righted themselves before going spectacularly sparking off the tracks. They'd still had fun. But she knew – she could see sitting across the table from her – that it'd stirred up both her and Brian's fears and anxiety and stress and worry – about their little boy coping with his illness. About Benji growing up with chronic illness – and having to learn how to manage it and pace himself. And just what all that meant.

Olivia wished she'd thought to capture some video that morning. When Brian had told the kids that he wanted to spend the morning of his birthday in a lazy river and on water slides. But their confusion – and little kid arguing – with her and Brian when they'd taken a different route through the hotel. When they hadn't gone through the doors and out into its vast pool courtyard.

"Dis is the wrong way," Emmy kept telling them.

"Is there another pool?" Benji kept asking. "Is the river a pool? Wait! Can we swim in the RIVER?!"

Closely followed by Emmy stating: "NOOOOO! IT FLOR-DUH! THERE GATORS!" (And her again lamenting that they had yet to see an alligator, manatee, pelican … or narwhal on this trip. Apparently Spiderman wasn't enough. Olivia wasn't sure the Transformers or animatronic dinosaurs – specifically the raptor Blue … even more specifically the baby raptor Blue to fit into Emmy's cuteness factor preferences … - would be either. Harry Potter? Minions? Also very sure those just wouldn't ever compare to a narwhal – which she was very sure her daughter would never see more of than what she'd already witnessed repeatedly on the TV screen in their living room).

They'd been so confused on the walk over to the water park entrance. Expect when they'd seen that the hotel had its own bowling alley and arcade. Then they just wanted to stop right then with the novelty of it.

"OUR HOTEL HAS A BOWLING ALLEY?!" Benji has gaped through the glass. "This is the cool-est hotel ever!"

It clearly didn't take much to impress her children. She wasn't sure a on-site bowling alley did a great-resort-make. At least not to her adult brain. But both of her kids sure seemed flabbergasted. It was likely a good thing it didn't open until lunch or she thought they might've had a battle peeling the kids away from the glass. And, she'd definitely made note of the need to walk a different way when they were coming back to their room. Though, she knew after Benji or Emmy's minds got set on something they weren't likely to forget it. They'd likely not hear the end of the hotel bowling alley until they relented and took them over.

Though – maybe the reveal of the water park might've sent the "coolness" of the bowling alley to go skittering from their little minds. Because she thought both their jaws had about hit the ground when they'd got over to the entrance and they'd realized they volcano they'd been seeing from the hotel pool wasn't just an elaborate decoration in making the resort look tropical. It was a whole other theme park – and a whole lot more water slides and two lazy rivers and tube rides and a wave pool and multiple splash pads and water playgrounds and manmade sandy beaches near everywhere they looked.

And they'd dived right in. Claimed some shady loungers and hit the lines. Again, it'd proven to her that 1) in about the next 48 hours when they transplanted the rest of their vacation to the beach at Cragen's and Eileen's their little water babies were going to be perfectly content. And, 2) staying at the resort was the right choice – early entrance meant they got a jump-start on the rest of the minions there. They got the good seats with canopies and lock boxes and they hopped onto more slides than Olivia was expecting possible before there was much of anything resembling a line.

It'd been fun. Olivia wasn't sure she'd say she felt too graceful getting in and out of some of the ride tubes. The one family raft ride she'd declared she felt like a turtle on its back, flailing around trying to get her ass and feet where they were supposed to be in the massively, awkward inter-tube.

"We all turtles on our backs, Mommy," Emmy had informed her. Olivia had looked at her blankly – though someway gratefully for that effort. "It wha the ride name mean! Didn't you read the sign, Mommy?"

And Olivia had stared – gaped really – at their daughter more blankly. Because part of said-sign had been in another language. Near all the ride names and mythology and storytelling of this theme park was in the imagined Polynesian traditions of the "Waturi" people. It was a little … complex … for a six-year-old. Let alone a six-year-old dashing between the interactive spray stations and dragging them along at full-speed from ride-to-ride.

"No, Emily, I did not read the sign."

Emmy just shrugged at her, and bounced very comfortably in her seat in the raft. "We dah turtle. We riding the whale. Least you not a beach whale, Mommy."

"Hey," Brian had warned their daughter – giving her the look.

Emmy just looked at him aghast. "Beach whales die! I don't want Mommy to die!"

Well … along as that was clear. Though, Olivia knew she'd likely survive the day – she wasn't so sure her tailbone would. All the bouncing around and bumping on the rafts were a little much – even with her beached whale (or turtle shell) padding. And she wasn't the only one who was feeling it.

And at least she wasn't the only one ungraceful moments.

Brian had gone down the double-tube slide with Emmy. Her and Benji were waiting for the two of them at the bottom – having taken the lead. There was pure glee painted all over Emmy's face as the two of them popped out the end of the ride. But with the velocity and how Emmy nearly hopped off the tube before it'd so much as slowed down – it'd been enough to send Brian toppling backwards. That had been bordering on funny – debatably funnier was that the tube had bobbed down in the water with him and then popped back up. It'd been clear to Olivia that it'd caught the back of his swim trunks as it did. Even clearer to her when he did pop his head back up from under water, he stood in on stop, very obviously hiking his board shorts back up and retying the laces.

She didn't think the kids had noticed. Emmy was swimming over to the exit where her and Benji were – completely oblivious to the role she'd played in Daddy's tumble. And Benji was already chattering at her about if their blue slide or his sister's green slide had been better and plotting going back to the top to switch up who got to ride which and with who.

"You OK?" Olivia had put to Brian as he trudged over – lugging the tube over to the attendant tasked with retrieving the things.

"Thought we might be paying a visit to Orlando's SVU for a minute," he flat-lined.

She gripped at his bicep as he got out of the pool. "More likely the outlet mall to get you something that's not going to wash away on you when a wave comes crashing in." Or when little kids are jumping up on you wanting to be held in the waves or flipped in the water. Or for you to tow their boogie boards around for them – while they were still on them. All activities they'd already experienced that summer.

"These fit," Brian said.

And she raised an eyebrow at him. Like most of Brian's clothes – they were baggy. Which she refrained from commenting on – on most of his clothes. On swim trunks – likely not the smartest choice. But his choice. She knew he wore briefs on them anyway – because Brian and layers, especially over that area of his body. Not that she thought water-logged cotton did much to keep the over-sized board shorts up. But again … his prerogative. And it certainly wasn't stopping him from agreeing to every whim the kids had about every slide they walked past.

Olivia hadn't felt the need for every slide. She'd outright vetoed doing the body slides. She would go and do some floats around the lazy river or work on her tan if they were going to get up to that. She was going to have enough bruises from the tube rides. She didn't need to go back to work looking like a battered woman. Like she didn't get enough looks and unwanted (and highly unprofessional) commentary from Rollins about her relationship with Brian.

But she did find herself agreeing to the Krakatau Aqua Coaster. It was the headliner of the park – much like The Incredible Hulk the day before. And it gave you a chance to explore and interact with the volcano and its immersive, misty mythic spirit, Vol. Really, going through the line and watching the kids have a full – and fully responsive – conversation with the moving, lit-up character projection inside the volcano had likely been worth any bumps and bruises on the ride. Having the Vol call Emmy a 'sassafras' and offer defrosting tips for Benji hockey had been worth it – so had when Vol had sprayed up the fountains catching Brian unaware where he was standing in the line of fire and getting him right in the face and the eruption of giggles it'd elicited from the kids.

But the actual ride? Olivia wasn't so sure that was worth it. She'd found the "water coaster" – which was pretty much a canoe that somehow went flying upward rather than down the volcano – especially rough on her apparently old body. But the kids had loved it.

Benji and Emmy couldn't stop talking about it. About "how'd they do that" and speculating on "the science" and the "physics" of "the magic" of the volcano (which they also kept asking if it was real – seeing the steam … aka mist – constantly simmer from the top). And making sure they were both aware that, "Magic is pretty much science." These kids.

They'd been completely thrilled – and just beyond proud of themselves – at surviving their "first rollercoaster". Olivia didn't think it was quite comparable to a rollercoaster – she actually thought she'd probably pick going on a rollercoaster, on The Incredible Hulk – over this hybrid of a coaster and a water slide. But Benji and Emmy immediately wanted to go back on again – and again. Declaring it as likely the best ride in the whole park.

"Guaranteed," Benji said.

"What about Spiderman?" Olivia had asked. "And Iron Man?"

"This is way better," he'd maintained.

"You haven't been on Transformers yet," Brian provided.

"Dis better," Emmy supported her brother. "Gar-in-teed."

Sometimes their relationship – getting to witness and help support and grow a sibling relationship – was too precious for words. They were just beyond (in the moments where they weren't bickering and just at each other and disagreeing about everything just for the sake of being different from their sibling).

But it'd been yet another ride that going on it twice – was enough.

Brian was definitely showing the pain as he hauled himself out of the back of the canoe. Now, Olivia wasn't the same level of physics expert as her two children, but she fully suspected that having the weight of three people at the front of the canoe wasn't counteracting Brian's weight at the back. She was pretty sure that instead he was getting the seesaw and rear impact of every single bump they'd gone over – TWICE – on the thing. And he was first gripping at his lower back – and then his tailbone … his ass – as they attempted to keep up with the kids as they made their way back down the mountain (because this thing also didn't deposit you at the bottom of the ride like a NORMAL WATERSLIDE!).

"This morning's activity," he muttered quietly at her as they trailed after their kids. Betraying that the slumped, weight bearing position he'd taken for their shower-capades was leaving its own aches, muscle strains and bruising. "Added bumps now – not agreeing with my ass."

"Sorry …," Olivia allowed – somewhat apologetically.

"Might be regretting the water park suggestion," he said.

"I think that's too late now," she'd said.

And it was. The kids had fully bought into it. To the point that Olivia didn't think Brian's initial birthday plan of doing the waterpark for the morning, going back to the hotel for lunch and an afternoon rest and then going over to the theme park in the late afternoon for a few hours and dinner was going to be remotely plausible. She thought it was more likely they'd be dragging the kids kicking and screaming out of the wave pool if/when they turned off the wave machine for the night.

But that had quickly changed and they were likely both regretting the water park decision that day.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**Will be continued.**

**Reviews, feedback and comments appreciated (and motivating). Thank you for your readership and continued support.**

**Worth noting that I'm thinking of starting a separate story post-vacation just continuing on with their daily/family lives and work, etc. Interactions with other SVU characters. Some Jack. Benji's health and middle school situation in the fall, etc.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

The kids had pretty much bolted back up the volcano before Olivia and Brian could rein them in again. Olivia had thought they were being forced onto Krakatau again, but apparently the kids had found another set of stairs to explore. The place was like a maze – and it was massive. There were pathways and beaches and stairs and tropical greenery everywhere along with fountains and statues and waterfalls.

Benji was showing-off a little in his dash up the stairs initially. Not unexpected – maybe even a necessity - out of a wannabe firefighter. His legs still did have a few inches on Emmy at this point, and with his sports he was used to being sent on training runs dashing up and down the bleachers. Emmy was running even harder to keep up. The addition of stairs in their house – something that Olivia had never even fathomed having in a home she owned as a life-long Manhattan – had proven that two children could absolutely sound like a herd of rhinos.

"Do not run on the stairs," she'd warned them firmly.

"JAH! THE SIGNS SAY!" Emmy called after her brother.

Benji, though, had still only slowed his wide double-stair mounts when they'd gotten to a platform where a slide attendant was handing out what pretty much looked like something between yoga mats and dollar store magic carpet sleds. Olivia had accepted on but had stared at it.

"What's this?"

"A sled," Benji provided.

"I can see that," she muttered and she stared at Brian a little accusingly. He was pretty much letting the kids direct this day. There was not a lot of Daddy Wrangling going on on Daddy's Birthday that was for sure. "This is the slide's 'tube'?"

He just shrugged at her. "I guess."

Olivia had rolled her eyes a bit. If she'd known this was on the agenda she would've had them swing back by their chairs and lockboxes before charging back up the hill. She'd opted against putting on her rash guard and UV shirt – despite clothing her children and husband in them. And smearing them all with sunscreen while Brian gave her more lip about it than either of the kids.

"You burn," she'd just muttered at him and slapped more on the back of his ears and neck – because he never put any there. He sprayed some on his hands and batted at his cheeks like it was aftershave – and like that was going to do anything to protect him from turning red.

They'd already had two incidents that summer where he'd come home more fried – and peeling (which fascinated the kids but was disgusting to her; if Brian was picking at the flakes he was letting the kids nearly peel it off for him and look at it under their microscope). And he'd whined about it more than the children – because it was on the back of his neck and the top of his (thinning haired and receding hairline head – because middle-aged balding was not something they were allowed to talk about) head. So he'd pretty much likely had sunstroke but wasn't about to admit that. So Olivia had pretty much just accepted that in hot sun incidents she had to play the mothering wife to Brian and had resorted to after smearing her children with sunscreen slapping the remainder on her hands all of him. And while he was whining about that – and giving her dirty looks – she'd squeeze more into her hand and really apply it to his face and legs, which would annoy his manhood enough that he'd takeover even if it was to shake off the gobs of it. She just assumed some of it managed to soak into his skin before he did that.

And, yet despite that, she didn't feel the need to put on her own UV shirt that morning when they'd briefly gotten established on the one beachy area. Because she tanned. More than that – if she was going on a two week vacation to Florida (after years of not taking a vacation), she fully intended to head back to New York City with a tan. And that shouldn't have been a problem if they were only doing the tube rides and the lazy river or the wave pool. It was more of a problem if she was going to be hurtling head-first down a slide on a yoga mat in a tankini.

"Fantastic," was all she muttered then, though. Because she knew she could head back down the stairs and wait for the three of them to come down the slide. But then she'd miss that moment with them.

And ultimately she was glad she stayed.

Emmy had needed help carrying her sled up the remainder of the steps almost immediately. The thing was nearly longer than her body length. Brian had initially been managing their little girl's but that wasn't where Olivia's eyes were. Emmy was still going up the stairs at a good clip but Benji had decidedly slowed down now that he had the sled in his one hand. And the weight of carrying it was definitely betraying a bit of an imbalance in him as he favored his one leg. He started stopping more frequently and acting like he was looking out at the park. But Olivia suspected it was more than that.

"Are you OK, Little Fox?" Olivia asked him on one stop where he seemed to hold for more than his usual two or three inhales. She didn't entirely mind. This water park was clearly demonstrating that maybe she should be adding some stair-climbing to the days she did manage to get to the gym. But Benji just gave her a sad look – like he'd been caught. "Do we need to go back down?"

He gazed back up the stairs. "We're almost there …?"

Olivia looked up the steps too. It was hard to tell. Some of their previous lines up to the top of the slides had been much further – and higher – than she'd anticipated from the bottom.

"I'm not sure, Benj …"

But Brian was looking at them from a few steps up – the concern was painted on his face too. It was pretty much the point in the day where Olivia had seen the shift in him.

Brian had ordered Emmy to stop and he'd come back down the few steps to where her and Benji were.

"Big Man, you want to go back down? I'll go with you."

Benji slumped against the railing. "But then Emmy goes and I don't," he said weakly.

Brian and her had shared eyes for a moment. But then she looked at their son again.

"What's hurting?" Olivia asked. "Your legs?"

He just gave her some side-eye.

"OK," Brian sighed and held Emmy's mat at Olivia and gestured at Benji. "I'll get you to the top. But after this we're taking a break."

Benji gazed at him but then accepted the offered arm and squat as Brian managed to pull their 10-year-old up to his hip and straighten. Benji might be small for his age – but Olivia still thought he was a little big for that. With Brian's middle-aged body and wet stairs.

"Brian, be careful," she huffed at him.

"I am," he allowed, trying to find the best way to hold his sled and now what to do with Benji's. But Benji wrapped his arms around his dad's neck – the sled flapping against his shoulder and down his opposite side – and held on tight.

They started back up the steps and Emmy grabbed at her Daddy.

"Emily, do not pull at people on the stairs," Olivia ordered.

Emmy gave her a hurt look and then looked up at Brian. "How come Ben-gee gets carried?"

"His legs hurt," Brian muttered at her.

She huffed a bit. "But my legs tired too!"

"OK," Brian said. "We're all going to take a break after this slide."

"Then you carry me the next slide, Daddy?" Emmy plead at him.

"Emily, we're taking a break after this slide," Olivia stressed again.

Benji just flopped his head against his dad's shoulder and avoided looking at any of them while they made their way the rest of the way to the top.

The lifeguard at the top of the ride had given them a bit of a look when they'd gotten up there. She didn't look overly impressed at their transportation arrangements. But Olivia was sure that they weren't the first family who'd mounted the stairs that way. And she was fully aware that it wasn't the safest option. But they got there.

And she actually wasn't sure how safe the way down was either. It seemed like a long way – with fast rapids and splashing water in your face and down your throat – to be in a tube on a magic carpet for a tiny little six-year-old girl. Or a hurting below-height, under-weight 10-year-old.

They'd ultimately hadn't all been able to race down the Punga Racer Tubes together. The weight of the two kids necessitated them going on just one of the slides and her and Brian each had to be going down the tube next to them at the same time. So they'd again split up.

She'd raced down with Emmy – and easily 'won'. That undoubtedly had more to do with her size and weight than any sort of skill on navigating the magic carpet face-first down that thing. If anything, Olivia had felt like she was doing the slide wrong because not only did she had water screaming down her front and between her breasts but she felt like she was ingesting giant sums of water all the way down – especially in the final splash over the finish line.

That slide was definitely not made for an adult woman's body. Apparently, though, it agreed with little girls. Even though it was extremely apparent that Emmy took in a giant mouthful of water as she skidded through the finish-line she was all smiles. But Olivia was sure she'd have bruises on her front side to match the ones she was sure were already on her ass and the back of her thighs. And – a good thing that most of the time Brian was an ass-man and not a breast-man – because she doubted she was going to want them jostled any more in the next day or so after that splat landing.

Though, she likely didn't have to worry about that too much. She could hear Brian coming down the slide. There was going to be more money going in the swear jar. He popped out well before Benji and shook his head as he trudged over to them. Once again his gait was showing how much he'd paid for that ride.

"Good thing we weren't planning for more kids," he muttered at her.

She smiled a little at that. "Good thing you got your birthday present this morning …"

"No kidding …," he deadpanned and once again adjusted the waist on his trunks. She could tell he wanted to do more than that. If having her breasts knocked around on that ride hurt she wasn't sure she wanted to imagine what it might be like to have a grown man's anatomy on that belly-flop, head-first ride.

"Did Benji decide not to go?" she asked staring at the spout-out zone.

"They set us up at the same time," Brian said – but she could see the restlessness in him. "Fuck …" he said under his breath and she could tell he was about to dart to go back up the stairs.

"There he is," she soothed as their boy finally popped out the end. But the smile on her face sank a bit as Benji first struggled to find his knees and then his feet and his balance to get up – and then she saw the trickle of blood from his nose on his upper lip. She moved toward him. And so was a lifeguard. "Did you hit your face?"

Benji swiped at his nose. "It's just a nosebleed," he muttered.

Olivia clocked it again and tilted his head to look more closely, pinching at her son's nose.

"We can get you some first aid," the guard said.

"I think it stopped," Olivia shook her head with some relief.

The lupus had left ulcers in Benji's nose and mouth and throat – and respiratory tract. If her little boy's chronic nosebleeds weren't enough, now he got these random brief spurts of bleedings and seeping coming out of the ulcers. Not to mention when one was aggravated it just sounded painful. Often he wouldn't eat when there was an outbreak of them – beyond popsicles and smoothies and ice cream. Not the best choices for a growing little boy.

But it hadn't really stopped. It was just another sign of their day starting to go sideways.

They'd looked at a posted map briefly to try to orient themselves and discovered they were about as far away as possible from where they'd left their things. So they'd agreed to get into the lazy river to float their way back to their chairs rather than walk.

That'd been another mistake. One multiple levels.

To start – it hadn't been the lazy river with inner tubes they'd gotten into. It'd been the Fearless River with life jackets and raging currents and waves sweeping over your head.

Olivia considered herself a fairly strong swimmer – but she didn't feel entirely safe in the swift moving current. She definitely didn't feel it was safe for her children. Though, Emmy, again, seemed to be absolutely loving it. Their fearless little girl. Sometimes Olivia didn't feel so fearless when it came to her kids, though. Not at all. If anything it brought your beating heart out on your sleeve and made you completely vulnerable.

"Brian, keep a hold of her," she kept calling after him. Emmy was doing her best to be independent. She didn't want anyone helping her – but Olivia was sure she'd get swept away if someone didn't have a grip on her.

She was trying to stay close to Benji. At first he seemed excited about swimming in the river. He was a strong swimmer too. He was a star at his swimming lessons. Benji excelled at almost every sport they tried him in. But Olivia quickly saw the initial excitement wane and the fatigue set in – and then she saw him struggling to control his breathing.

"Benj," she called out over the flow of the current and the wave machines. "Are you OK?"

He just nodded. But he was holding at the top of his life jacket and nearly floating on his back. No longer even trying to swim or navigate or surf the current.

Olivia had taken three hard strokes to catch up to him and grabbed a hold of his jacket, pulling him into her and looking him in the eyes. Even in the water she could feel the clamminess of his skin and see the flushing having crept across his cheeks. He was over-heating.

"OK," she nodded at him. "The water's pretty warm, isn't it, Benj?"

He nodded at her with sad, scared eyes.

"I know," she allowed. And she did a long exhale and nodded at him to do the same and then inhaled together. She nodded again. "Good boy," she said and glanced around the river. There were lots of lifeguards but she was more concerned about finding an exit. "Let's just keep breathing."

She exhaled again and inhaled – Benji trying to match hers but he wasn't.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**To be continued.**

**But might start a separate story before I do. Have 3 ideas for Liv/Brian chapters set in the fall. And an idea for a Liv/Rollins chapter. Or a Rollins/Brian head-butt chapter. Sort of want to do some things with Jack too. **

**But I also want to finish out this birthday set of chapters. And do have a few chapters I'd like to do while they are at Cragen/Elieen's. I thought them doing a day with the dinosuars in Jurrassic Park might be fun too. Also think them going to the Space Center and/or on a manatee swimming trip might be fun.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

Olivia gazed up the river again to Brian and Emmy. "Bri," she called hard at him and he turned. Again his face dimmed when he saw she had Benji pulled right against her. "We're going to get out at the next exit."

"OK," he called back.

He had that tone – the one they'd both adopted when it came to … this aspect of parenting. Situations with their kids. This wasn't the fun part of parenting – this was the job. They were entering another mode – and in a lot of ways it stayed with them the rest of the day. Olivia didn't think they'd really been able to switch it off. But in these kinds of situations, it was hard to switch it off. You went into hyper-vigilance. Her and Brian both did – in their own ways. Even when they tried to keep up the illusion of normalcy for their kids.

That was hard work too. There were times that as 'normal' as Olivia felt her family life was – she knew there was nothing about it that was very 'normal' for a great many people. She had to stop in that, though. Remind herself of all the different challenges and stories and journeys that those around her – all these other individuals and families and women and children – were on. No one was 'normal'. What was 'normal'?

Getting to an exit hadn't taken too long – not with the rate that current was taking them. But sometimes it really was better just go with the flow – to let the current take you. There'd been points in her own journey – in navigating this now with Benji – she'd come to accept that. Often fighting against it just exhausted you. It sapped your energy. You needed to save that for other things.

Like eventually pulling yourself out of the current – when you saw the way out. When you were able to grab a hold of it.

And that day – in an actual current - it'd still taken some hard swimming to pull themselves out of the current. She'd had to nearly drag Benji into the little cove so they could out of the water.

Brian was already there – having found and stabilized his feet – as they floated by. He grabbed her hand – just like he had in those months of dealing with the boys' uncle and bringing them home and into her custody. Just like while she let herself settle into a hole in those weeks after Lewis. Those months. Those moments where it still haunted her sleep (and sometimes her waking) and she felt the darkness come in around her again. He kept reaching out – tentatively – always leaving it up to her to actually take his hand. But she was getting better about it. She was accepting it. And she did then too.

He helped her find her feet and steady herself in the shallow water of the cove; getting Benji to his lurching feet as well. His legs seemed like rubber. This lungs seemed to be betraying him as he lurched against them – slouching in his efforts to find his breathing.

"What's wrong?" Brian asked as Olivia struggled to unbuckle Benji's lifejacket – keeping her eye-line firm with her little boy's. She was right there with him. It was going to be alright.

"His breathing," she allowed. "His lungs."

Benji was still short of breath as she got the buckles undo and Brian pulled the vest off his shoulders.

"You're OK," Olivia assured Benji and she again showed him to take slow, deep breaths.

She examined him and saw a little trickle of blood again trying to come out of his nostril. She swiped at it and then reached, pinching the bridge a bit. That wouldn't help if it was an ulcer – but she tried anyway. At least it'd give an indication of if the heat at flared up Benji's inflammation and irritation enough that those sensitive tissues were reacting – an easy sign for them to be aware of for the rest of the day … the rest of the trip … ?

Emmy splashed over from where Brian had left her further up in the shallow, calmer waters. "Ben-gee were-wolf-ing?" she asked, staring with concern at her brother.

It was so hard to explain to Emmy what exactly was going on with her brother. They were trying very hard to use real words and age-appropriate explanations. But they also didn't like giving Benji more labels than he already had. They didn't want these things to define him. And they were striving so hard to be diligent, contentious parents in navigating this with their little boy but not be over-protective, hovering and doting him with special treatment and special exemptions. It was hard challenging line to walk.

Her and Brian were both still learning how to walk it. Olivia thought in a lot of ways she was navigating it better than Brian. But they both just approached things so differently. She'd always been a bit more of the Bad Cop and the disciplinarian in their family. Because she was a single mother first. Because she was so used to being on her own – an independent woman. Because of her own upbringing and personality. It wasn't to say that Brian didn't take his turn to drop the hammer on the kid. There were definitely areas the kids knew not to mess with him on. But their approach to parenting as different. And Brian's approach to coming to terms with Benji's health was very different than hers.

Olivia had ultimately ended up just letting herself feel all of it – the anger and sadness and fear and frustration. She'd let herself cry and scream. And then she'd gotten on with it. She thought Brian was still working on accepting the reality of any of it. And he was feeling more helpless than her in different ways. It was triggering a lot of things in him. From his own past and just within his personality. His self-worth and where and how he placed his value. He liked to be the one taking care of other people – but this wasn't something that could be taken care of. It wasn't something that could be fixed. And she knew it was making him feel like a failure as a father and as a husband and as a protector and care-taker and provider. He was struggling to find his way through it. And it had implications for how he operated within their daily routine – and these moments.

As for Emmy – she just wasn't sure what to make of it. She knew Benji was 'sick' but didn't entirely understand how. She related it mostly to Benji ''cuz Ben-gee all-way have a sore troat' and 'some time he achy and tired so he cranky and no fun'. Olivia supposed in some ways that summarized it pretty well but it didn't quite capture the vastness and uncertainty of the whole situation of dealing with a chronic autoimmune disease that was inflaming tissues and organs in their child.

It hadn't really clarified 'Ben-gee hafta go to the doc-ter lots and get need-elles. Then he puke up and is very cranky.' But what do you say to any of that?

They'd mostly just tried to make sure Emily was getting time and attention from them too. That she was still getting one-on-one time with Mommy and with Daddy. That they still did some things she liked and she still had some special treats too. That she still had some stability and consistency in her life. Normalcy … for them. That she didn't feel like a second-thought or left out. But that she also wasn't worrying about her brother – or resenting him.

It was another difficult line to walk. And one they seemed to stagger on and off of regularly. The good news was that Emily genuinely did love and care for her brother. So even though sometimes she was confused and scared and frustrated and angry in all this too – and expressed that in the limited yet vast ways only a six-year-old knew how – she really just was worried and wanted Benji to be better too. Because she loved him. And she loved her Mommy and Daddy too.

Though, Olivia wasn't sure their adoption of 'werewolf-ing' for a lupus symptomatic flare was the best plan (thank you, Jack … who was confused and struggling and frustrated and sad and angry and worried in his own ways about all this in the ways only a 25-year-old young man knows how to not express verbally …). But she supposed it might be better than seeing how Emmy did manage to pronounce 'lupus'. It'd likely sound either like she was saying "You-piss" or "You-piss-y" or "You-pussy". Olivia didn't think that was necessarily an improvement on 'were-wolfing'. They already were dealing with Emmy pronouncing dyslexic in a way that sounded very much like 'dick-stick'. As in, 'Bubba is dick-stick'. And that was really enough of a label to combat against.

"Benji's just feeling a little short of breath," Olivia assured their daughter, turning her attention back to Benji. "That water was pretty warm."

"Jah," Emmy agreed. "It like a big bat-tub! But Ben-gee not allowed in the hot tub and not allowed to make a shower sauna!"

"Exactly," Olivia allowed. "So we're going to get him cooled off."

She worked at stripping Benji's UV shirt off him, catching Brian's eyes as she did. He nodded and started pulling off his own too.

It'd become a routine when Benji's breathing seemed this off. There'd been more than one occasion where they'd ultimately ended up with Benji and Brian skin-to-skin – the little boy laid out against his chest – and them coaching him to find Daddy's breathing. To breath with Daddy.

Brian had been … he'd struggled with it at first. Olivia had seen those triggering moments dance across his eyes again. He'd sputtered something about the appropriateness of it. And she'd stamped that out: "You're his father." That was the end of it – from her perspective. She knew exactly what kind of father – Daddy – and man Brian was. It was perfectly appropriate way to comfort and calm and care for _his son_.

She tried the method with Benji. She held him and cuddled him and rocked him. All the lost time Benji had had as a baby with touch and connection – with kangaroo care – was being more than made up for now. There were a lot of moments that year where Olivia had felt – had been coached by the nursing staff and OTs and physical therapists and rehab therapists and social workers and counselors – they were very much bordering on kangaroo care methods in helping their little boy manage his symptoms. Something her and Brian had both grossly missed out on with both their babies.

She helped him find – and calm – his breathing too. There were times she had her little boy draped against her trying to get him to find her breathing and heart rate too. But in the moments of her little boy's panicked, short breaths – he was able to calm and find his breathing much faster when he could lay flush against his dad's chest – skin-to-skin.

Though, Emmy's method wasn't awful either – at least to lighten the moment. She stood in front of Benji almost practicing wide-leg, squatted yoga-ballerina moves in her exaggerated breathing exercises, her arms inhaling and exhaling with her like fluttering wings.

"Bee-th, Bubba," she encouraged.

But Benji was still looking at Olivia with slightly scared eyes. So she glanced around and pointed over at some nearby loungers that looked unoccupied and almost shaded. At least there was an umbrella near them that would offer shade at some point. Or they could drag them to where there was shade in the moment.

"There," she said and pointed for Brian.

"How those legs doing, Ben?" he asked.

Benji's wide eyes followed his mom's point and he attempted to stagger that way but stumbled slightly.

Brian caught him and pulled him back up to his chest, wrapping his arm under his rear. "Still a little rubbery," he said and started carrying Benji that way.

Olivia took Emily's hand and they started splashing after them. A little slower because Emmy really was stomping in the water to make sure she was getting as much of a splash effect as possible.

But before Brian could get him and Benji down into one of the loungers – Benji stuck out his arm at Olivia. "I want Mom," she said.

Brian gave her a look – and again that look in his eyes had changed a bit. It was always a little like a dagger when one of the kids pulled the "I want …" card. It was hard.

Olivia had had periods of the same look that flashed across Brian's eyes than when years ago Benji had started experimenting with calling Brian 'Daddy'. As slowly her son gathered a list of things that he wanted Daddy for. Things that their little boy felt Daddy was better at.

It'd been hard again when … Lewis. When she'd gotten home but had been in that dark place and hadn't been able to be their for her children in the way she should've been or the way they needed her to be or in the way they expected her to be. And because of that other … big things and little things ... shifted to things Daddy did. Things they looked to Daddy for.

Even harder when Emmy was so little and she lost that period of bonding – how you establish your relationship with your child at that age and what that relationship looks like. Foundational moments that help define who you are and how you are. And Olivia had … months and months … were she wasn't the mother she wish she had been or could've been. That it was another way William Lewis had gotten to her and her family. Another thing he'd taken away from her. How he'd damaged her.

Little and big things. Moments. First words … Emmy had put together 'Dada' before 'Mama'. And it stung.

It was harder still – even now - Olivia knew for the vast majority of things in their children's lives – either her or Brian were just as capable of providing them. There might be things that each of them did better – or a little differently – but they were both very capable of caring for their son and daughter.

But since being sick – with all the medical appointments and the fallout – Benji had established very clear lists and functions of what he expected from Mommy and Daddy. When he wanted Mommy and when he wanted Daddy. It was both balanced and imbalanced. Frustrating … and easier. They'd both drawn some short straws. It was deeply affecting Brian that Benji usually wanted him ahead of … painful, invasive, scary, tear-jerking moments. But it was deeply affecting Olivia that in a lot of instances only one of them could be in the room – and a lot of times it wasn't her. But she did get to be there – she got called out for and reached for – for other things. For the hours and hours and hours of sleepless nights just holding and rocking her little boy. And that deeply affected her too – and Brian. It struck and pained you in ways you couldn't understand until you were in those moments.

But the breathing exercises – their routine was that it was Daddy's terrain. It just worked better with Daddy.

But that wasn't what Benji wanted that day. It wasn't who he was reaching for. And unless there was good reason, Olivia and Brian rarely denied Benji's requests when he was telling them what he needed and wanted in the moment of coping with his illness.

"OK …" Brian allowed and gestured for her to take the lounger.

Olivia did and he lowered Benji to her. Her little boy huddled against her and she wrapped her arms around him.

"OK, hear and feel my breathing, Benj," she encouraged. "My heart beat. Let's try to match."

He held onto her tight – his cheek and nose very nearly buried against her breasts. His hot and cold and clammy skin against hers. Maybe him being against her damp swim suit might actually help normalize his core temperature. She stroked at his head and his back. She made her breathing calm and pronounced – taking purposeful inhales and pursed lip exhales for him to hear.

"Bee-th," Emmy coached again.

"Shh …," Olivia said – to both her children. To get Emmy to hush and to get Benji to calm.

And Brian just eyed them. His hurt and concern and worry radiating off him. His restless energy to be doing something just twitching in him. Radiating toward them in a way that Benji likely didn't need right then.

No matter how Brian might be feeling right then Olivia knew that part of the reason that she was 'picked' in that moment was because Benji didn't like being the one causing problems. It was Daddy's birthday. He'd be feeling like he was ruining Daddy's birthday.

"Why don't you go get our stuff?" Olivia offered quietly to Brian. "Something cold for him to drink? Some ice for the back of his neck?"

He gave a little nod but his eyes still had that haunted look – the one that was still sitting there across the table from her that night at dinner while he stared at their son.

"Yea …," he said. Weakly. She could tell he didn't want to move. But he did – taking Emmy's hand and tacking her off on their assigned mission for Bubba.


	20. Chapter 20

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

**CHAPTER 19 WAS ADDED EARLIER TODAY — WITH LESS THAN 24 HOURS IT WILL NOT HAVE BUMPED TO THE TOP AGAIN AND THERE MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN TWO ALERTS. PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO READ IT. **

**GO BACK ONE CHAPTER AND CHECK.**

Olivia wanted to think that the rest of their day had gone better. She'd sent a reluctant Brian off with Emily to explore some more of the water park while her and Benji took a bit of an extended rest in the shade.

Brian seemed to feel – understandably – they should head back to the hotel and air conditioning. But at that point Benji was near drowsing against her. As much as she acknowledged they'd let their son push it a little too far with the heat, humidity and the necessary level of activity for a 10-year-old to charge through a water park, she also felt like a big factor going on was just that Benji hadn't slept very well the night before. She was fine to just keep him cool with the shaded umbrella and the dampened towel they'd draped against him while he napped against her.

But she could still see the hesitation in Brian. If Emmy hadn't been still itching to go and pulling at Daddy's arm begging him to go play with her, Olivia was pretty sure they would've had an extended stand-off in that battle. As it was, though, Brian had eventually let Emmy pull him off – saying they'd be back in a bit to check on them.

And they had been. They'd looped back eventually but Benji was still showing no interest in moving at that point. So Olivia had sent them off again. Emmy certainly didn't have any real problem with getting Daddy time. She was much more a Daddy's Girl than a Mommy's Girl. Just like Benji was still a Mommy's Boy as much as there were things he did want Brian for.

Olivia had learned to – force herself – to accept there were certain things that children – boys and girls – just needed some male energy in their lives and they wanted that outlet and attention from their Daddy. She knew that both her and Brian knew that truth growing up. And she knew it was also vice verse – some things they just wanted feminine and mothering energy for – they wanted Mommy.

She was learning to be more comfortable with that. She was learning that it was OK to not be everything to everyone all the time. That raising kids did take more than one person – you needed help. That it didn't make her a failure. That it didn't mean she wasn't cut out to be a single mom. It meant she was lucky – her kids were lucky. She had a partner in this and they had a Daddy. There was nothing 'wrong' with that. Or the division of duties – different styles and skill sets – it created.

There'd been a long lull where Brian and Emmy hadn't reappeared and Benji had started to stir and show some interest in trying again. Olivia was little reluctant to just leave. She'd sent Brian a text – but Brian's phone was in the lockbox next to their chairs. She'd just have to hope that he'd think to check it when he came back around to their chairs – and not panic. Though, Brian was pretty good at keeping calm. They both were. Though, maybe slightly less so when it was in a work versus kids scenario.

Still, she'd agreed to get into the actual lazy river with Benji. They'd floated around twice – in the tubes. It'd been a much more relaxed trip than that ridiculous Fearless River. She was surprised their hadn't been some kind of accident that left someone severely injured – or drowned – in that thing that had caused it to be permanently shutdown.

This was more her vacation speed. And it seemed to be more Benji's vacation speed to at that point in the day. He'd been happy to let her keep a hold of his tube for a lot of the time. And Olivia had been happy to have some time with her little boy. She often felt like she didn't get enough one-on-one time with Benji anymore. Not for fun things. It felt like so much of the time she had with him was taken up with schoolwork and medical appointments and him just not feeling well and trying to get her to make it better for him – when she was often at a loss of how, beyond holding him.

But right now – he was calm. He was smiling and happy. The rubber legs and dribbling nose and labored breathing were gone – for the moment. He was asking her to spin his tube for him and giggling when she did. He was paddling with his hands to play bumper boats with her – pushing both of them into the spray of fountains. They floated through the volcano and under waterfalls. And he'd lamented when she told him they should go back to the chairs and check for Daddy and Emmy – just like Daddy and Emmy had been checking on them after their rides.

They weren't there. But she'd found that Brian had texted her too. They were at the kiddie water playground. Or that's where they were headed when he'd sent the text about 25 minutes ago. So they headed over that way too.

It was a pretty incredible play structure. The playground was made to look like the tide was out and a colorful coral reef, and left the behind seaweed and sea creatures, were currently exposed for the children to explore.

Runamukka Reef. It was an appropriate name from what Olivia saw. There were all kinds of little ones dashing around through the fountains and geysers and water-cannon sprayers and slides and dump cups. Climbing structures and characters to sit on and ziplines to splash down into the water and pieces of allege floating a top of pools to carefully balance across. Water was spraying from every which direction and children were running around in just as many. It also looked like there were nearly as many lifeguards on site as there were kids.

Benji was itching to take off at the fastest clip his legs would take him – to runamukka. But she gripped tight at his hand and looked at him sternly.

"Little Fox, remember what happened this morning," she nodded at him. "You don't over do it. You need to be aware of what your body is telling you. Go slow and take lots of chances to cool off in the fountains."

He nodded hard at her without real response and tugged out of her hand. He was off. He was definitely feeling better for the moment – but she fully intended to eagle-eye him. And she didn't intend to let him play there for more than about 20 minutes. They'd pushed things far enough as it was.

Olivia couldn't spot Emmy in the swarm of children. Her daughter was always a bit of a moving target on a playground. If you took your eyes off her for even a split second you were likely to spent the next several minutes frantically searching the area for where she'd disappeared to.

But as hard as Emmy was to spot – Brian wasn't. Brian was nearly as restless as the kids at any playground – only on the sidelines rather than in the mess of things. He'd walk the outer rim keeping his eyes on them at all times – just like he did in the bleachers and on the sidelines of all the kids games and practices. It some ways it was just the kind of person Brian was – the kind of father he was. For years Olivia had wrote it off as him having an absent father and not wanting to miss a thing. It was how he showed the kids he was present. She'd thought that some of it was still residual from his time from SVU. But it'd only been recently that – especially when it came to sports – she understood the real depth of it.

It didn't matter if it was a man or a woman – any adult that went up to their children was quickly intervened on by Brian. She was the same. She was still learning to trust being around other parents. She was still learning not to border on paranoia about who was looking at or watching her children when they were out in public. To not be measuring and watching what people's intentions where. Who was with who. Why they were at the park or playground or museum or exhibit or PG-rated movie or library or sports match or playing field. Judging if they had the right to be there – or if it was inappropriate. Having kids had definitely cast new light on just the kind of person – mother – the job had shaped her into. Trusting wasn't her strong point.

But she knew the experience was different with Brian. The eyes he was looking at it with were based on different experiences. He was watching in a different way and reacting in a different way. Sometimes it felt like he had a shorter fuse than her for those around them than she did. And sometimes she felt like Brian kept the kids on a shorter leash than her too.

There was a kids' club and some kids' activities at their hotel that they could sign Benji and Emmy for – for just a couple hours. They could go on a treasure hunt and do some crafts. Watch a movie or play some videogames and puzzles in a glorified child-care setting for a few hours of alone time with your spouse without the kids while on holiday. Olivia had seen it as an opportunity for her and Brian to maybe grab a bite at a nicer restaurant. But when she'd suggested it there'd been zero interest from him. He'd argued they didn't know anything about the people they were leaving the kids with. And that they could have Cragen and Eileen take them for a couple hours one night so they could grab dinner in Sarasota. That was fair enough – but she wasn't sure his reasoning was coming from an entirely logical place. But she could only say so much … she background checked lots of things when it came to their kids too.

"Hey," she greeted as she got up to him. His arms were crossed and his eyes were set. She followed them and spotted Emmy up at the top of the play structure at a water cannon spraying it onto unsuspecting kids trying to bounce across a wobbly suspension bridge below her.

He gave her a glance and then looked past her too – she knew he was looking for Benji. So she pointed off to the next structure – the one with three colorful tube slides twisting around it and geysers spraying into the air far over ahead it.

"He was headed for the purple tube," she provided.

Brian made a listening sound and adjusted himself slight – taking a couple side steps – to position himself more between both of the play areas so he could try to make himself go cross-eyed keeping both the kids in his sightlines.

"He's doing better?"

Olivia made a sound that wasn't exactly an agreement and reached to twist the watch on Brian's wrist (his work one – not the one she'd just given him, he was smarter than that) to get a view of the time.

"You calling it?" he asked.

She hummed a much clearer agreement at that. "We'll give him twenty minutes," she said. "Then I think it's time for some air conditioning."

Brian grunted his acknowledgement.

"Did you and Emmy have fun?"

He moved away from her slightly again – still clearly tracking the movements of their daughter.

"Did the other side of the double raft ride thing," he muttered a bit. "And those drop slides."

"The body slides up the top of the volcano?" she gaped at him a bit.

But he shook his head. "No. They're just over there," he jutted his half-thumb off behind them. She turned her head in the general direction but the park definitely had their landscaping done in a way that while you were in one area of the park you were immersed in that area without seeing too much what was going on farther afield. "They're the ones where it tosses you out over like a five foot drop into a plunge pool."

Olivia stared at him. "How was that?"

He rolled his eyes and shook his head at her. "Yea. For how 'scary' rollercoasters are - that kid is goin' to be talking us into jumping out of airplanes in a few years, Liv."

She shook her head. "I'm not jumping out of an airplane," she said. She gestured back at the volcano. "I wasn't even going to do those body slides."

"Yea, well, fair enough," Brian said and pulled up the back of his shirt. She lifted it some more and took a look. There were obvious scratches – that just as obviously hadn't come from her hands on his back that morning or any other. "Even the plunge slides aren't made for adult, human bodies."

She let his shirt fall back into place. "Does it hurt?"

"Stings like about a hundred paper cuts. Likely all this fucking chlorine. Probably that that sent Ben's lungs into a fit."

She allowed a little nod. "He took in a big mouthful on that sled slide. Some of the waves in the river really washed over him too."

Bri nodded again. "The lazy river better?"

"It was fun," she allowed. "More my speed."

He made an amused noise but kept his eyes still on the kids. She found them again herself – checking on each of them. But then she found Brian's hand buried in the armpit of his crossed arms and she squeezed it tight. He let her – uncrossing his arms and holding onto her hand.

"He's OK," she assured.

But he looked at her – that look that just kept deepening and deepening on his face. "Is he, Liv? Is he really?"

And she just held his hand tighter – because they both knew the answer to that. As much as they didn't – they did.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**Chapter 19 was posted earlier today (and reloaded because the wrong chapter was added initially). Please make sure you got to read it too.**

**There will be a continuation still from Liv's POV to wrap Brian's birthday day stuff.**

**Reviews, comments and feedback are appreciated. Thank you for your readership.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

Olivia felt that Brian worked to derail the day – his day – a little bit on his own after they did get back to the hotel. It'd been pretty clear that he was planning on calling it and just having them stay in their suite for the rest of the day after Benji's blip at the Volcano Bay park.

Olivia understood where he was coming from. There were days that summer where she very much was the one who called it – and sometimes unplugged their activities maybe a little sooner than they had needed to just to play it safe. But they'd gone into this vacation with their eyes wide open.

They knew that there were going to be moments where Benji was going to need some cool down time. They knew there might be a day where his joints were bothering him and they'd have to make sure they had a quiet day for him to rest and for them to try to get him some relief. They knew that if it was too humidity he might have a breathing episode. That he might just be tired. That his flushing and rashes might bubble up if they weren't careful. Or he just might not feel well and they'd need to slow down or take a down day or a pool day or a stay-in day. But that didn't mean they were going to call off their vacation entirely.

That had been the agreement. So she hadn't bought into the little sulk that seemed to be emanating more from Brian than the kids when they got back to their room. Maybe it was more of a sulk from the kids and a bit more of digging in of the heels from Brian. He was doing his best to make sure she knew his position. He was in hyper-vigilance mode. Or over-protective mode. He had been the day before too – in a different way. She'd seen in in his body language. And some tone – and outbursts – he'd taken with other park guests around them. She sort of understood. She could get like that too. But they were on vacation. Eyes wide open. They were the adults. And they were supposed to be a united front on this. She didn't need the body language either for him to make his position known.

So she'd worked to ignore it. She'd instead, she'd focused on getting some lunch into the kids and letting them watch some TV and take a bit of a mid-day rest in the A/C. Then a couple hours later – as the kids got over the novelty of getting to watch a movie in the middle of the day on a weekday and realize there were still lots of things to do all around them, when they were rested up and raring to go again - she worked at nudging Brian into heading back out for a bit too. Even though he was working at spooling the kids back down and floating ideas like … the pool and the playground and beanbag toss and billiards and going and checking out the activity room for what craft was going on. Out of Brian's mouth it all sounded a little transparent and desperate.

But he'd still been resistant when she nudged him about getting back on the go and out of the hotel. He didn't want to go back to the water park because of what had happened. And he didn't think that going over to the other parks was a good idea because they'd seen how quickly just going over for a couple hours had turned into nearly seven hours the day before. He'd argued they'd overdone it and they were pushing it and they still had a couple days to get through there and then more than a week at the Captain's where the kids would probably want to be spending hours upon hours out on the beach.

But that was what vacation was, Brian. That was the vacation they'd planned. It was the vacation they were paying for. She wasn't dropping all the cash they'd saved and budgeted for to make these few days special for the kids to end up spending it in the hotel room – unless it was Benji's health and body language that was telling her that's what they needed to be doing that afternoon. And it was not.

So that was it. She was going back out. He'd still just given her a look. It was a stand-off. He was going to see just how far she was going to take it. Pick a fight on their holiday – and on his birthday.

But fine. She told the kids to find their hats and get on their shoes – they were going to go and find something to do. They were bouncing up and off the couch in the instant – ready to go. Brian didn't move.

"You're not coming, Dad?" Benji said when he noticed, as he dug his heels into his shoes. Because why tie and untie them when you could just crush the expensive footwear.

"Dad's still feeling a little grouchy after all the sun this morning," Olivia said – keeping Brian's eyes while she said it. "He's going to stay here and rest a little more until he feels like seeing the light with everyone again." And he cocked his head and rolled his eyes slightly at that. But she just tilted her head right back at him.

"You don't wanna ride Transformers?" Emmy stared at him with that complete puppy dog look that Olivia knew would do him in. "But it your bif-day and it your ride, Daddy."

And it had been what they needed to get Brian going again. The power of a little girl over her father – a connection that Olivia knew she'd never quite understand from either side of the relationship. She hadn't gotten that experience. About the closest she could imagine was the bond she had with Benji, which she knew was different from the relationship her little boy had with Brian. It was special in its own way.

But Emmy had Brian wrapped around her baby finger. She was Daddy's little girl. His rough and tumble princess. And she just had to give him the look and the voice – and more often than not – Emmy got her way. And they were going to be in trouble because of it. Brian still didn't see it quite that way. He'd come back with examples of when and where and how she caved to their Little Duck just as easily. And how their Little Fox read her like a book. And she couldn't exactly argue with that either.

It was funny the ways you raised your children when you came from your own trauma – and when they came into your life with their own. Where you drew your lines. The parent it turned you into – and the adult it might cause these children to become.

Though, as much as Olivia was aware both their children knew how to play them – the buttons to push and the heartstrings to pull and just how to get their ways at time – there were also times she didn't think that was such a bad thing. There were times that both her and Brian both needed a kick in the ass to get out of their ruts and to just get on with it. To change their routines. To get out of their own heads. To find the light again. To not catastrophize or focus on the worst case scenario. To remember to keep marching forward.

And if the kids were ready to that afternoon – than for something as simple and inconsequential as going back into a theme park – Brian had better get off his ass and do it for his daughter and little boy too. And he did. Because as much of a stubborn ass – and a hyper-viligant father – he could be, he was also a doting Daddy underneath all of it.

And he perked up. He saw that Benji was doing OK – physically. He was moving a little slower than he had been the day before, though. And not at quite the clip as he had been that morning. And Olivia could tell Benji was checking himself too. And that the blip with his breathing – or something else – was maybe weighing on him a little.

Not being home and in their routine for Brian's birthday? No stated Birthday Boy dinner pick? Daddy's Favorite Grandma's Banana Cream Cake? No silly presents after dinner with grandparents and Jack over in the evening? Or maybe more likely whatever Jack had said – or hadn't said – to the kids that morning about Brian, his birthday, the vacation or the 'honeymoon'. Jarring Benji and his struggle with changes to routine and schedule and tradition more – by mocking them. It'd be typical Jack thoughtlessness.

So Olivia had kept a hold of his hand and worked at keeping a hold of his spirits. She chatted at him and teased him while they walked along the streets of the park. Emmy was skipping ahead of them – dragging her Daddy along while she stopped to gaze in the storefront windows and got chatty with the different Scooby-Doo characters on the street. She was asking them if they were stoned and advising them of her parents' police status. It was actually getting some humorous reactions that Olivia was watching from a distance.

Brian definitely didn't give off the look of a cop – or rube. More days than not, he actually probably looked like he'd been mixed up with drugs harder than Scooby Snacks. But that afternoon he actually looked almost amused by Emmy's and Scob's antics. Olivia could see he was saying something to the characters but was far enough way she couldn't make it out. She kind of wished she could. It likely would've been funny. Brian could be a funny guy … when he wanted to be.

This side of the amusement park was different than the Islands of Adventure where they'd spent the day on Super Hero Island the day before. It looked more like quaint city streets. Glancing at the map, she could see if they did manage to walk through the whole park over the course of their visit they'd go through some kind of facsimile of New York, San Francisco, London, Hollywood, a World Expo and Springfield. She suspected they were supposed to be in 'Hollywood' right now. But having been through L.A. – some years ago now – she could attest that this was definitely made to look like some Hollywood of yesteryear. But that was likely what people visiting a movie theme park wanted.

It was definitely a quieter side of the park than they were in the day before. Both in the size of the crowds and just the atmosphere. There weren't rollercoasters thundering by overhead or thrill-seekers shrieking with horror as they plummeted from hundreds of feet in the air or craned around corkscrews on rides at gut-wrenching velocities. The colors here were more muted. There was foliage. It really just looked like city streets. It wasn't a sensory overload. But Olivia thought they could use that that afternoon after the day before and that morning.

Sometimes less was better. And even though this looked like less – and on the surface looked like it might be the less popular side of the park – she was fairly certain even from just glancing at the map that looks could be deceiving. She got the distinct impression that this side of the park just managed to hide more of their attractions inside buildings – focusing more on simulator rides and theatrical shows and demonstrations. She knew they were only going to scratch the surface there too, especially with the route she was directing the family through that day. The same as the day before – there was an objective: ride Transformers. Everything else was just gravy.

Though, of course, they managed to get a little sidetracked. But that was OK. They weren't on any real schedule. Well, maybe a bit of one. She had made a dinner reservation. But she also didn't think this place quite operated like back home where it was going to be devastating if they missed their sitting and there was no way they'd have a chance of getting a table again for a year or more. She'd called the night before and got a table for four in a prime family dining timeslot. She was pretty sure they would've gotten away with just walking up. And they likely still would in a worse case scenario.

So when the kids had spotted the ET ride and expressed an interest in wanting to go on – they did. The kids were so funny when they tried to wrap their heads around movies and television shows and cartoons and music – pop culture – from when her and Brian were kids. Ancient history to them. Though, in a lot of ways it felt like ancient history to her too. So long ago. It's funny how close and how far gone your childhood can end up feeling.

Not that her and Brian were exactly kids in 1982. Teenagers. Actually, Brian would've been Benji's age. Eleven. And that was a stark realization about what was going on in his life the summer that he likely saw that movie with his mother. Or more likely with neighborhood friends from his Little League team.

Olivia had been surprised Benji and Emmy had taken such a shining to ET. Though, maybe it wasn't that surprising. It had children their age – with a big brother who wasn't the best big brother at times but who eventually managed to rally around them – who got to go on an adventure. Small, sensitive, lonely, inquisitive children with a side of science, space ships and bicycles. It probably made a lot of sense that ET had joined the Sunday afternoon movie rotation in their house. At least it was a nice break from Marvel super heroes and Transformers.

Olivia had again been impressed by the queue for the ride. Maybe it was because Benji was so little when they did Disney's California Adventure – and really hadn't gotten in that many rides. Or maybe it was really just a different sort of park. But she didn't remember the queues being anywhere near as immersive as the Universal experience they were getting. The lines were really part of the experience – if not part of the ride. They introduced you to the story – and really drew you in and made you a part of it. It made you live the movies. It was a lot of fun for the kids.

Or in most cases it was. The ET ride's queue was in a dark California forest. So she wouldn't exactly say that was her kids' favorite setting. Neither of them ever did particularly well in the dark. And even though they knew it was make-believe and there was dim light to guide them through the trees, Benji and Emmy had definitely huddled close to them. Benji had been right at her hip – just like when he was a little boy. Emmy was holding onto Brian's hand so tight, Olivia could see white spots popping up on his fingers.

There were sounds – and even smells – of a forest. Mist and a dampness you could feel in the air.

"It reminds me of summer nights at Daddy's cabin," she whispered to cabin. "Campfires and chasing fireflies and going down to the dock to go and talk to the night sky."

"And find shooting stars to make wishes …," Benji smiled softly.

She squeezed his hand. "My biggest wishes were always right there with me, Little Fox. Then and now."

And he calmed a bit. They were good memories. As much as she'd hated the hard mattress, the lack of hot water and the generally inadequate plumbing while mosquitoes as big as her head swarmed around – they'd had some good times there. There were moments she wished they could still get away there but in reality she didn't know when or where or how they'd find the time or how they could've continued to justify the expense.

The kids had calmed a bit more when they'd started spotting other little nods to the movie. ET's Speak and Spell connected to a foil umbrella as he tried to phone home. Candies on the ground. Tire marks and foot prints on the ground. Signs pointing toward trails and picnic grounds. And then finally a line-up to mount their own giant bicycles. Brian had been sure to really roll his eyes at that. But Emmy had been pretty excited.

Their little girl had certainly proven she was a dare devil the day before and hadn't hesitated on any of the water rides that morning. But it was nice to see her just want to enjoy a little kid ride. And she had. She'd been looking every which way and pointing out every which thing. A whole world of botany unfolding all around her. She'd near jumped out of her seat when ET had said, "Good-Bye Emily."

"MOMMY! HE KNOW I CAME TO HELP SAVE HIM PLANET! AND HE WANT ME TO SAVE EARTH NOW!"

"That's a pretty big mission," Olivia allowed.

Their little girl nearly dragged them back around to go on the ride again. And they had. It was only a ten minute wait – most of which was walking back through that dark forest again. Apparently ET wasn't a huge hit with most kids these days as it was with hers. And somehow that didn't surprise her.

Olivia knew that most families came to Universal to go to Harry Potter and if they weren't in Harry Potter they were on the rollercoasters. But that just wasn't her kids. It wasn't her family. It wasn't her and Brian.

She knew that Brian had gotten them the extra nights at the hotel and the extra days on their tickets. And they'd use them. They'd enjoy their holiday – and their family time together as a little family of four – before they headed over to Cragen's for their beach vacation. But she also knew that before that afternoon was over they would've ticked off their must dos: Spiderman and Transformers.

So she was doing a little mental inventory of what they might do with the rest of the time they had there. She thought her kids might enjoy spending part of a day over in the Jurassic Park section. She thought they also might enjoy going to some of the shows about special effects or make-up. That maybe they'd all enjoy doing some of the nostalgic rides from movies from yesteryear. Or maybe they'd just enjoy spending some time at the hotel pool and put in a bit of time here and there back at the water park as Benji's body could manage. They'd have to just continue to play it by ear. That's just how they had to roll anymore. And it was an adjustment and a learning experience for her when so much of police work had ingrained planning, planning, planning into her very existence.

Without any plan – purely just timing – the Animal Actors show had been starting when they'd come out of ET the second time. And rather than let Emmy drag them through for a third go – Olivia had pointed out people filing into that. She'd gotten a really look from Brian for that one. But the kids had both jumped on board. That also hadn't been surprising. Benji and Emmy loved animals. Benji and Emmy were doing everything in their power to convince her and Brian that they absolutely needed a pet. About every kind of pet had been floated from dog to cat to guinea pig to hamster to rat to spider to crab to ant farms to sea monkeys to fish. So far it'd been firm 'no's from both her and Brian. But Olivia really didn't know how much longer that would last.

They'd talked about it. Not some of their more absurd requests. Though, they'd been touched on too at certain points. It was more the dog or cat discussion they kept coming back to. The whys and why-nots of each. There were lots and lots of why nots. The whys were that Benji was a little boy without many friends who'd dealt with a lot of bullying and struggled with PTSD and trauma. A little boy who was now dealing with medical issues and pain and fatigue and was often home sick or stuck in bed or resting on the couch. A little boy with dyslexia who could use a reading buddy. And the reality … Emmy and Brian and … honestly, Olivia acknowledged, even herself, could benefit from a four-legged friend some days in some of those areas too. But there were a whole lot of why-nots too.

But the kids didn't know that the pros and cons lists were even being weighed and discussed and churned over. So any excuse to get near animals – and maybe mount another argument about just why they should get a pet – seemed like a good one. So off they went into the auditorium.

Emmy blazed a trail up the steps – picking a seat smack in the center for them. She excitedly bounced around while they waited for the show to start.

"Are they real movie stars?" she asked.

"No. They're just animal actors," Benji told her.

"Movie act-ers?" Emmy asked.

Benji shrugged. "I dunno."

"Well. If they movie act-ers, they movie stars," she said.

Olivia gave Brian a little smile a rubbed his back at the kids' discussion. He was still being quiet. And he was still watching the kids' carefully. Or – he was watching Benji carefully. Benji had staggered a little getting his leg over the seat of the bike on the ET ride and Brian had caught him and steadied him. And while Emmy had been pretty much raiding ET's toy closet – wanting to touch every toy there was in the gift shop while waiting to get what was ultimate a pretty cute photo of her and Benji with ET dressed up in drag in the actual toy closet – Brian had Benji off to the side on a bench.

Olivia had watched him talking to Benji while their son rubbed restlessly at his one that even from where she was standing looked a little bulbous. She'd locked eyes with him for a moment when he rose and he'd mouthed at her they were going to the bathroom outside the door. When they'd returned, she'd seen that Brian had helped Benji get the compression supports up over his knees.

But the chatter calmed as the show started. The kids seemed just transfixed by the birds and ducks and otters and rats and porcupines and skunks scurrying around stage.

Olivia made a quiet amused sound at some of the bad puns the trainers were throwing out there in their little acts with the animals.

"They're as bad as yours," Brian put to her.

She just raised her eyebrow at him. "I thought I was funny."

He just made a sound and looked away.

"So do we have any one celebrating a birthday today?" the trainer up on stage had asked.

"Daddy," Emmy had immediately said and looked at Brian excitedly. But he only made a sound again and shook his head.

Brian nodded further up into the crowd. "There's some kids," he rasped at their little girl.

And there were. Some children up closer to the front had waved their hands at the call for a birthday.

"OK, happy birthday," the trainer said and some other staff members had went up the stairs with what looked like stickers for them. "But I'm actually looking for an adult volunteer. Do we have any adults in the audience celebrating a birthday or any kind of special event today?"

"DADDY!" Emmy said more loudly that time and jumped out of her seat and pointed at Brian. It was loud enough to attract the trainer's attention their way and she moved back across the stage in their general direction, looking right at Brian. He sighed.

"You? Sir? In the blue shirt? Is it your birthday?" she asked.

Brian gave Olivia a look. But the kids answered for him.

"It's Daddy's birthday!" Emmy said.

"Yea! It's Dad's birthday!" Benji said.

"Oooh. Ratted out by the kids," the trainer teased. "Tough one. Can I get you to help me and Pablo here with our next trick?"

Brian gave Olivia another annoyed look but then looked at the kids. They were both staring at him so excitedly.

"Yea. Sure," Brian muttered.

"Great," the trainer continued. "Can I get you to stand up, please, sir?"

Brian did. And he crossed his arms. And then attempted to soften his posture a bit – shoving them in his pockets instead.

"So … how old are you?" the trainer teased. "Kidding."

But Emmy answered anyway. "FORTY-EIGHT!"

"Oh, sold out again," the trainer smiled at him. "And what's your name, sir."

"Brian," he said flatly.

"Happy birthday, Brian," she said and then gestured for the whole audience to say it all together. And he got a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIAN. And he again didn't look all that comfortable with that. "And, where are you from, Brian?"

"New York," he provided.

"Wow," the trainer said, stroking a bit at the colorful parrot on her hand. "That's a bit of a trip. Did you fly?" she teased. "Hope your arms didn't get tired."

"We drove," he said. Apparently he wasn't going to play along to much.

The trainer just gave him a little smile. "And what do you do in New York?"

"I'm a cop," he said flatly. It was always – unfortunately – a bit of a loaded profession anymore to publicly state that you practiced. It was kind of sad.

"Oh, New York's finest in da house," she said and made a little raise the roof gesture for the crowd. But he'd already gotten some applause at his stated profession. And the expected dead, uncomfortable silence for the larger majority. But the gesture got a bit more recognition – like to lift some of that awkwardness that surrounded the career path – the public service – anymore.

"HE IS," Emmy said. "Daddy's the bravest!"

"Yea?" the trainer smiled their daughter's direction.

"JAH! He been shot and stabbed with knifes! And even punched!"

"Shh," Olivia hushed and reached to quiet their daughter a bit and get her to sit back down.

"Well, then I bet your Dad isn't afraid of birds one bit," the trainer said.

"No way," Benji said quietly – almost embarrassedly for all of them.

"Daddy's 'friad of nuttin," Emmy confirmed.

The trainer smiled. "Well, that's a good thing, because when birds are being trained for movies it's hard to train them to fly to people they don't know. So instead we train them to fly to familiar objects. In Pablo's case, that's a dollar bill. Brian, do you happen to have a dollar bill on you?"

"Ahh …," Brian dug into his pockets but glanced at Olivia, who'd already started to dig through their backpack in search of her own wallet.

The trainer smiled again. "Are you asking your wife for cash?"

Brian gave her a look. "All I've got are twenty's."

"That's fine. Any bill," the trainer said. "Now I just need you to hold the bill between your fingers and outstretch your arm all the way. And, Kiddos, I'm going to need you to both sit down."

Benji and Emmy did as they were told. Though, Olivia could see they were both gazing exceedingly expectantly at their dad's outstretched arm.

"OK. Here comes Pablo," the trainer said.

And there the bird did come. Flapping up the auditorium and landing right on Brian's outstretched hand.

The kids craned around each other and Brian to see. And Brian looked like he was afraid to move.

Then Pablo looked down – snagged the bill in its beak and flew back to the trainer's shoulder, who claimed the bill and pocketed it.

"Ladies and gentlemen, New York's finest. Not New York's brightest."

And it got a laugh – but not from Brian. It got an eye roll and a look at Olivia.

"Saw that coming," he said.

"I know," she smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," the trainer said. "Brian, I'm going to get this right back to you. I just need you to put out both your arms." He did. "Now flap."

He just stared at her.

The trainer smiled at him. "Aww," she said. "That usually works," she looked at Olivia. "That's where I get to do the joke about all husbands being trainable."

Olivia just reached and rubbed Brian's back again.

"Brian, how old's your son?"

Brian gave Benji a glance. "Eleven," he said.

The trainer nodded. "Can I borrow him?" she said and held the bill in her fingers.

Brian eyed Benji. "Watcha think, Big Man?"

He shrugged but got up and started down the steps.

"C'mon boy," the trainer teased.

Brian really gave Olivia a look at that. But Benji hadn't seemed to notice.

"Hi there, Kiddo," the trainer said as Benji got down there and handed him the bill. "You can give that back to your dad, if you want. Or …," and she gave him a big wink. "What's your name?"

"Benji," he said.

"Benji?" the trainer said excitedly. "Like the dog?"

"Yea," Benji agreed.

The trainer smiled. "Have you actually seen those movies?"

"Yea," Benji said. "Well, like I've seen the new one. On Netflix. Not like the old ones from when my parents were kids."

"Oh, yea. Those ones are super old. Like I think we might have them preserved over in the Jurassic Park Discovery Center."

Benji just looked at her. He likely didn't know what she was talking about.

"Do you like dogs Benji?"

"Yea. I really like 'em," he said.

"Yea?" the trainer said. "Then, maybe before you take your Dad's money back up to him you'd like to help me out with our next animal actor trick?"

Benji gave a little shrug. And Emmy gave a huff and crossed her arms up next to them. "NOT FAIR," she said. "How come Daddy and Ben-gee get to help?!"

"Shh," Olivia hushed again.

And she watched as the trainer guided Benji over to sit in an actor's director chair. And then she watched again as pure joy – wide-spread awe – grew across her little boy's face as it was Benji the dog that trotted across the stage and mounted the steps next to his chair and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek. And she hoped the staff photographer down there by the stage had caught that on camera – because she sure knew where that $20 Benji had gone down to pick up was going now. And it was worth every cent.


	22. Chapter 22

**Title: Best Laid Plans**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy continue to work at regrouping from the trauma and challenges of their year by taking some time away from New York City. They take their kids on a family vacation to visit Cragen and Eileen in Florida. The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home and Facing Forward AU.**

Somehow when they'd come out of the Animal Actors show they'd apparently left California – and the streets of Hollywood – and landed back in Universal's version of New York City. They'd found themselves in a movie magic attempt at Central Park. And, really, if they ever did use the theme park space as a working set to shoot a commercial or a scene in some TV show, it was likely workable. But the kids were grossly unimpressed.

"This does not look like Central Park," Benji stressed for them repeatedly while standing on a rock that definitely wasn't as big as some of the elephant rocks that the kids could spend hours scurrying around on their imaginary adventures. But it definitely was also sculpted and textured to give it a look that was reflective of the rocks back in their hometown.

The keywords there, though, were 'sculpted' and 'textured' and even their six-year-old had kind of clued into that. Emmy had definitely managed to find a twig that was real and was carrying – and thrashing it around with her like it was some kind of newfound play thing because near every part of nature was to their child. But the toy had turned into a scientific chisel when they'd stopped in the shade to look across the 'lake' at what Olivia was distinguishing as likely San Fransisco and London. It was an interesting clash of architecture. And definitely not what you saw when you looked across the Revisor in the real Central Park – or any other water formation there. Near rock formations or otherwise. Emmy was poking at the rocks with the stick.

"Are des real, Mommy?" she demanded rather skeptically, followed by, "I think they fake."

"Maybe," Olivia conceded. She definitely wasn't going to argue that point. And if she did it was likely that Benji and Emily would mount some sort of science experiment or paleontological, geological dig right there in the theme park. She thought she should try to get them to save that show for when they got over to the Jurassic Park land, which was another area that she was sure most families likely spent maybe an hour or two in but that her kids would easily put the better part of a day into. But at least it wouldn't be watching them chisel at a fake rock with twigs in a fake park in a theme park that they were paying upwards of a $100 per person per day for the pleasure of being there.

Brian, though, apparently didn't have a problem with that use of their money. And he'd just nudged her, mumbled something about finding something to eat, and wandered away leaving her to watch … whatever it was these little creatures they were raising were doing. Sometimes she was in awe of them. And sometimes she was just dumbfounded by them. They were both such unique individuals. So uniquely them.

Olivia didn't think the kids even noticed Brian was gone. They were absorbed. Not only were they busy determining if the rock was real – but Emmy had spotted bugs. And then a gecko. And then they were both transfixed. And nearly terrorizing the poor thing. She'd had to give them some firm instruction to just look and not touch. And then clarify that included not poking it with the fucking twig. But the lizard must've been pretty resilient to curious tourists. It seemed mostly undisturbed and continued basking on the warm concrete while Benji and Emmy stared and chattered squatted down next to it.

So Olivia had just found a bench in the shade and sat playing supervisor. The benches in the little, quiet park space were actually a pretty good facsimile of the ones in NYC Parks. So were the lamp posts. And the signage. Even if the space didn't capture the experience of the city at all.

Brian reappeared with a bucket of popcorn and a strawberry-lemon slush for them to share and you'd think their kids had never seen either. At least they hadn't likely seen anything in quite those serving sizes.

"Can get the popcorn refilled for two bucks the rest of our stay," Brian said, while he claimed a handful. He was smart to take a handful at once the way the kids were diving in and sucking down the slush.

"Hey," Olivia said, giving Benji's shoulder a little shake as his lips puckered with the drink. "Slow down. You're going to get brain freeze."

"Too late," he muttered and handed the drink off to his sister who went at the drink with just as much vigor, completely undeterred by the way Benji was now holding at his temples and groaning a little.

Olivia rolled her eyes, giving her head a shared shake with Brian.

But that was their kids. There were moments she really, really worried she – they – maybe spoiled them. There were other moments that she worried they were too strict or too uptight or too overprotective.

And then they had little moments like this. They needed like moments like this. Where a big bucket of theme park popcorn was a thrill and a treat. Where they still knew how to share and didn't fuss about having to use the same straw as their sibling. Where they hadn't had a slushie enough they didn't know how to avoid a brain freeze. Where they were still excited and appreciative. And little. And fun. And silly. Where her and Brian were able to just let them be kids. To let them be their weird little, observant selves – digging at fake rocks and staring at geckos in a makeshift park at a $100 a day theme park while the other families around them hustled to London and through to Diagon Alley and into a Wizarding World of Harry Potter. And they sat on a bench and shared a treat as a family in a moment that as wasn't so unlike any other day-off her and Brian might have with their kids back home.

Emmy first wedged between her and Brian on the bench and then crawled into her Daddy's lap. It was mid-afternoon at that point and she was finally starting to show some fleeting glimpses that she might be ready to slow down at least a bit. Or she just wanted better access to the popcorn. Though, in that moment, she seemed content to have the slushie to herself. Her head resting against Brian's chest and his chin on her head while she sucked at the straw in much slower gulps than Benji's glug.

Olivia smiled a little at the scene. Brian caught it.

"What?"

She shook her head and just gestured at their little girl. The kids grow up – but in some ways they don't. You still got glimpses of the past. Maybe that's why seeing them get bigger got harder. Olivia could see again their Little Duck against her Daddy's chest with her bottle while Brian worked at lulling her to sleep back in those early months right then.

Benji moved to sit down on the bench next to her and she nudged over a bit – moving the popcorn bucket to her lap to make sure there was enough space. He was happy with that arrangement. He cuddled into her side and buried his hand into the bucket, munching away.

And they all just sat and rested and snacked, gazing at the water and the various cityscapes around them for a bit. It'd only been then in their apparent slow down that Benji had actually seemingly looked around and realized the Transformer ride was insight.

"Dad, I think that's Transformers," he blurted out suddenly. So suddenly it'd startled Olivia a little and she'd nearly toppled the little they had left of the popcorn. And the little boy's whole arm pointed urgently. "LOOK! I think that's Optimus! On the building! RIGHT THERE!"

Brian leaned forward with Emmy in his lap a bit and looked around the bit of foliage in the 'park'. "Could be," he acknowledged and gave Olivia a nudge. "Where'd the map Magellan."

She rolled her eyes at him but moved to dig the crumpled paper out of her capri's pocket. She'd barely retrieved it before Benji had snatched it away from her and set to checking out the situation for himself.

"Manners," she pressed firmly into the side of his cap. But he was absorbed and attempting to orient himself on the colorful and wordy paper.

Benji had a love-hate relationship with maps. He seemed fascinated with them. He'd taken an interest in geography. He liked that maps were art and science combined. Lines and colors and information – without too many words. But he'd also expressed that maps made him dizzy. It wasn't something that her or Brian had quite understood what he meant. But they had been told that it was a common sensation with dyslexia. Still, their son much preferred gathering and extrapolating information from maps than he did from any other kind of dense document. He could figure out how to navigate them – if given proper time.

"Mama," he murmured thoughtful, starring at the sheet. "Check your phone. See if it says the ride times."

She allowed her eyes another little roll but retrieved her phone. She didn't really need to. Brian already had his out.

"It's forty minutes," he told her, swiping through the app.

She gaped at him a bit. "For Transformers?"

"People live Transformers, Liv," he said. "Everyone but you."

She rolled her eyes harder. "Do our Express Passes work on that ride?" she asked. Actually – she prayed.

He made a listening sound. "I think so," he muttered, still staring at his phone. That didn't sound sure.

"Does it say how long that wait is?"

He shook his head. "Nah. We'll have to walk over," he said and gave Emmy a bit of a shake. "We gonna do this?"

"JAH!" she cheered. Apparently those fleeting moments of her almost looking like she might be ready for a nap were just that – fleeting. "LET'S DOOOOO DIS!"

"Big Man?" Brian leaned over to look at Benji again. "You up to saving the All-Spark, bud?"

And Benji gave him a big smile and a firm nod.

"Think Mom is?"

Benji shrugged. And Olivia gave him a gentle slap in the chest. It just got a bigger smile out of their son. Him grinning cheekily up at her with that gapped tooth grin of his, full of those missing baby teeth and adult incisors that hadn't come in just yet.

They gathered their things; Brian strapping the souvenir popcorn bucket, that apparently he seriously was planning on keeping and presumably refilling in the next day or two, on the outside of their backpack. And they started their short trek over to where the massive robot was on the roof of the nearby building.

"Is this supposed to still be New York?" Benji asked, swinging her arm hand-in-hand with hers, as Emmy skipped and hopped along with her Dad.

"I think so," Olivia allowed. Though, she'd definitely concede at this point it didn't really look like much of anything beyond any street USA. There was a Mel's Drive-In Diner on the corner. She actually thought that looked kind of fun – if they skipped their reservation. Though, it'd mean nothing to the kids. But, they might've enjoyed looking at the old cars parked out front almost as much as her and Brian. Benji was definitely all-boy when it came to vehicles and had been slowly indoctrinated over the years by her, Jack and Brian – as well as his own interests – about what constituted a classic and quality vehicle. Though, she supposed if it was really supposed to be the diner from American Graffiti the corner was supposed to be back in California. The layout of this park just didn't geographically make sense. The mapping was making her dizzy too.

"Well, it doesn't look like home at all," Benji huffed.

Olivia shrugged a bit. "It's make-believe, Benj. Did it really look like Metropolis yesterday?"

"Yes," he huffed even more offended at her. "From the comics. And it doesn't even make sense if this is New York," Benji informed her and then looked back at Brian. "Right, Dad?"

"Mmm," he allowed. "What you thinking, Ben?"

"Shouldn't it be Chicago. Right?"

"Sounds about right," Bri agreed.

And then they all looked behind them as a siren whirled and a battered, ancient police cruiser with a speaker strapped to the top of it slowly rolled by as Brian pulled Emmy up onto the curb and out of the way. They all stood and stared at the passing car.

"Maybe it is Chicago," Olivia said. Benji squinted at her and she pointed at the car. "Those were the Blues Brothers. It's a movie."

"An old movie," Benji said with a real obnoxious tease and look to him.

She smiled and shook her head at him. "A movie from when Mommy and Daddy where kids."

"So it a reaaaaaaaallllllllllly old movie," Emmy emphasized.

"What's it about?" Benji asked, as they started walking again. "Detectives?"

"No," Olivia said. "It's about two brothers who are musicians and they want to save the orphanage they grew up in. So they're trying to play a bunch of shows to raise money before it has to close its doors."

Benji made a listening sound at that and looked at her. "It sounds kinda good. Can we watch it for Sunday Fun Day Movie one day?"

"Ah, no," Brian interjected. "Not for a long time. It's not a kids movie."

Olivia gave him a look.

"It's R," he put to her. "And I was probably about his age when it came out and don't think I saw it until I was in college."

Olivia just made a listening sound and thought about that. It'd been a long time since she'd seen it. She couldn't think of what might've been in it that earned it an R rating – but she could hazard a guess: drugs, language and sex. And probably smoking and drinking too. Likely vast amounts of misogyny by today's standards too. Though, she also suspected some of the reasoning for the rating likely looked hokey by today's standards and compared to some of the cartoon-action-super-hero violence and innuendo their kids watched and engaged in in videogames and online and just in daily life. No matter how much and how hard they tried to regulate it.

"If it's not for kids why are they here?" Benji asked.

Olivia shrugged again. "Some things in the movie would be family-friendly for everyone, Little Fox. There's lots of singing and dancing. Maybe they have a show here." She cast Brian a look. "That might be fun …" she offered.

But he only gave a little shrug. So she left it for the moment. After they got through today maybe she'd look at the maps and schedules a little bit more and put forward a couple things that she might actually like to see and do at these parks while they were here. She'd really been very focused on getting through these things for the kids up to this point. Just enjoying watching the kids reactions. Enjoying her family.

They rounded the street corner at the big industrial military complex looking building that was housing the Transformer ride and the four of them came to a full stop in their tracks. Olivia was certain that all four of them had their jaws near hit the ground.

An alarm was sounding just as a garage door pulled up and open revealing a massive Optimus Prime. But it was a real – hulking, moving – Optimus Prime. One that didn't just stay inside that doorway. He came walking out toward the gathered people.

"My name is Optimus Prime," the … robot said. Olivia couldn't actually tell if it was a robot or some kind of animatronics puppet or some sort of elaborate custom. What she could tell was that it was incredible – and entirely believable. And that it looked exactly like the character they'd been watching in the movies had come to life and was now towering in front of them – feet taller than even Brian.

"I am an **Autonomous** robotic organism from the planet Cybertron," Optimus said with full gestures and movements. "An Autobot for short."

Olivia didn't know whether to look at Optimus – or Benji … or Brian … or Emmy. But all three of them were just seeping with awe. And that wasn't an easy feat. They looked even more gob smacked than they had with Spiderman. Brian looked like as much of a little boy as their little boy and little girl had the day before.

"Welcome Recruits, you honour us with your alliance. But I must warn all of you, if you find the All-Spark and Megatron is in its possession, only if you can take it from him may we have a chance to save this world."

Optimus promised them all that Bumblebee would help them on their journey. And with that introduce the doors again came up and the bright yellow robot danced and strutted out, striking poses to only the music that his vocal circuits were able to create. If Optimus had looked like everything that Brian had imagined since his childhood – Bumblebee looked like everything that Benji had expected since he was a little boy. Since he'd come home to her and that was the first Transformer he'd found among the toys that had been left behind by Calvin. A toy that had opened a flood gate to Transformers – and Rescue Bots and firetrucks and children and Brian and Jack and Emmy and her whole family and the life she had today.

And her little boy squeezed at her hand even tighter as there stood those two incarnations of so much of what their family had been built on in its infancy. Optimus and Bumblebee. And Brian who knew how to transform those figures from robots to vehicles and back again when she just couldn't figure out how to get the pieces to fit the exact right way.

And they stood there watching them interact with other families as they lined up to get their photos taken before they got in line for the ride. As Optimus offered them assurances and Bumblebee played them motivational soundtracks striking a variety of moods and poses meant to blend with each family and individual who went up and joined them.

It wasn't a question that they got in the queue to have their picture taken. There wasn't even a discussion about it. They just gravitated and got into the line. Inching forward – memorized – as they waited their turn.

"Greetings. How are you today?" Optimus finally called to them and the characters' handlers dressed in beige military fatigues gestured for them to come forward.

Brian nudged Benji and Emmy forward. But Olivia pressed him to move into the photo-op area too. He gave her a look.

"Bri," she nodded. "This is a family photo."

"It's Daddy's birthday," Emmy was already telling Optimus before Brian had a chance to put up any kind of argument about joining the kids. Bumblebee reacted blaring some 'Happy Birthday' music. "You've been his fav-it since he was little like me."

"That is a true honor," Optimus said and actually looked Brian's way. "It is nice to meet you Earthling."

Olivia smiled and nudged him again.

"Yea. Nice to meet you too," Brian muttered.

"These two are rather tiny. But I see their spark is very strong," Optimus said.

Benji was standing in slack-jawed awed, just wide-eyed amazement examining them. He was looking right at Bumblebee and Bumblebee was looking right back. Bits of machinery were whirling on the costume and clips of music and audio were blaring in little blips of excited expression and emotion likely mirroring the ones that Benji couldn't seem to get out.

The staff there with cameras gestured at Olivia – who was the only one who didn't seem in a stupor about the Transformers. And she worked to gather her family and get them to face the camera.

Bumblebee and Optimus huddled around them too. Bumblebee's arm draping almost completely over Benji's body and Optimus' hand first hovering over Brian's head before resting at his shoulder.

"My hand is bigger than your skull, Earthling," he chuckled.

Brian made an amused noise. But Olivia could feel – out of the cop who'd been shoot, stabbed and spent years under cover – some nerves in him at that situation. At the presence of fantasy become reality and it being larger than life.

But it was a fantasy that had been a gateway into giving both of them – all of them – a life. And that made Olivia smile for the camera. They'd all been transformers in their family. They all were.

"Younglings, remember, freedom is a right of all sentient beings," Optimus provided as the photographer gestured their turn was over. "That is your mission – not just today. But today – you must be careful. Megatron is lurking near and we don't want any violence."

They started to move away. But Olivia wasn't sure they'd ever really move away from that moment. Or from Transformers – or their transformation – entirely.

"Roll out!" Optimus called after them as they exited that area.

That familiar call that had occupied so much of Olivia's life in those first months and years that Benji had come home. In that transition and new balance. That transformation where she'd come to have a family. A boy and a husband and a little girl. And a life all of her own.

Roll out.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**Reviews, comments and feedback are much appreciated.**

**Step at a Time is currently being updated too.**


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